Fear Isn’t Love: How Survival Mode Is Sabotaging Your Relationships
Let’s be real—most people are walking into relationships with their imagination improperly, overly depending on their survival brain.
They’re not connecting—they’re scanning for threats. And here’s the thing: most don’t even realize they’re doing it. You can’t change what you’re not aware of. They’re innocently operating from the lens they've inherited—shaped by past experiences, what they’ve been taught, and what’s been modeled for them in their version of the "Game of Life." It’s not their fault, but it is their responsibility once they see it. Because staying unaware doesn’t protect you—it keeps you stuck.
Everything becomes an overreaction: a delayed text, a change in tone, a missed cue. Fear hijacks logic. They obsess over what could go wrong, assume rejection before it happens, and spiral into worst-case-scenario fantasies that kill intimacy before it even has a chance to breathe.
This isn’t love.
This is self-protection disguised as connection. And it creates exactly what they fear most: distance, disconnection, and dysfunction.
What if you used that wild imagination for something actually useful?
The same brain that’s busy crafting catastrophe could be designing moments of joy, curiosity, and closeness.
Some people tap into their creativity to deepen love—surprising their partner with small gestures, asking powerful questions, making space for meaningful rituals. They’re not waiting for a bid for connection to magically appear—they're building it on purpose.
Because connection is an art form, not a fluke. And the people who thrive in love are the ones who treat it that way.
Here’s the hard truth no one’s saying: your imagination is a tool. If you're using it to write horror stories in your head about your relationship, that’s on you.
You could just as easily be using it to create a masterpiece. Stop expecting your nervous system to guide your love life, it won’t.
Fear will always build walls.
But creativity, courage, and intentionality? Those are the real architects of connection. Your relationship doesn’t need more hypervigilance.
It needs vision. Use it wisely.
I love reading your comments, hearing your thoughts, opinions, perspective and questions..