The Hidden Cost of Commiseration
Let’s name it: commiseration is the slow poison of progress.
In the name of support, too many people gather around shared frustration, unintentionally anchoring themselves to the very pain they want to escape.
When we constantly talk about what’s wrong—what they did, how unfair it is, how exhausted we are—we train our minds to scan for more of the same. The brain, being efficient, complies: “Got it, focus on the mess.”
And it does—over and over again.
The result?
A mental loop that reinforces helplessness.
We stop looking for what’s working, what’s possible, or where our power actually lives. It’s not that the pain isn’t valid—it is. But looping in it keeps us in survival mode, not growth mode or love mode.
What we feed with our attention becomes our reality, and most people are starving for solutions while bingeing on their problems.
There’s a difference between processing and perpetuating.
Validation isn’t venting on repeat. STOP doing that!
Growth doesn’t come from gathering proof that life is unfair.
And connection isn’t built on shared resentment.
When conversations revolve around what’s broken, our mindset gets hijacked by fear, lack, and emotional paralysis.
The hard truth? What you focus on, expands. And sometimes, the most loving thing you can do—for yourself and others—is to stop joining the pity party and start shifting the conversation entirely.
Love to continue this conversation, add what pops into your mind, let’s share what we understand!