Your Misery is Self Created
Let’s rip off the Band-Aid:
Your emotions aren’t caused by your partner, or by anyone for that matter.
Your feelings are caused by you. If you keep handing over your emotional state like a fragile glass to someone else’s actions, expect it to get dropped—repeatedly.
The lie that your partner “made” you feel bad is the fast track to emotional chaos and relationship erosion. As long as you believe your feelings are beyond your control, you’ll stay in reaction mode, spiraling, blaming, and building resentment.
And guess what?
That narrative will poison even the best relationship.
The hard truth?
Emotional maturity is a choice.
Every. Single. Day.
You can either play the victim of your partner’s tone, timing, or tension—or you can wake up to the fact that your reactivity is a mirror of your own insecurities and internal work.
Real love doesn’t require perfection—it requires taking responsibility. When you understand that your feelings stem from your thoughts (not their behavior), you stop making every disagreement a dramatic event and start showing up like someone who’s emotionally sovereign. That’s when things shift. That’s when connection deepens.
Want to be in a strong, connected, thriving relationship?
Then stop outsourcing your peace.
You CAN NOT build lasting intimacy on a foundation of emotional instability.
The faster you take ownership of how you feel, the faster you recover from conflict. And the faster you recover, the more resilient your relationship becomes.
Stop outsourcing your happiness
Growth doesn’t come from being coddled. It comes from owning your inner world—so you can build a life and love that doesn’t fall apart every time someone pushes a button.
Healthy relationships aren't dependent on another person's mood, what they do or say, stop being a puppet to other people.
Healthy relationships are being emotionally independent and coming together as a team, a partnership and sharing what you're learning, how you're growing, what you're experiencing on this game we call life.
If you're thinking or saying "yea but..." you're giving away your power and justifying your misery. Unless you're being poked by a stick the pain you feel is coming from inside of you, not outside.
“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.”–Elizabeth Gilbert
Want to become emotionally independent? Let's begin today!
I love to read your comments, thoughts, questions and scenarios, comment below and let's keep this conversation going.