Your partner isn’t responsible for your feelings—your thinking is.
As human beings, we often look to others to validate our feelings and emotions. It's natural to seek comfort and support from our partners when we're feeling down or upset. The harm in colluding is that you stay stuck. Well-meaning friends and family will tell you that you're right and the other person is wrong. This reinforces what might be a coping mechanism and keeps you disempowered.
Having a powerful coach on your team as a resource is crucial for navigating the challenges and troubles that may arise on your journey. A skilled coach, such as myself, can help you identify your blind spots and provide objective guidance without taking sides. You'll walk away from a coaching session accessing greater conscious awareness and deeply connected to how to move forward powerfully. Many clients over the years buy a package of sessions to get a tune up now and then.
It's important to understand more than logically that our emotions are ultimately our own responsibility.
Your partner isn't responsible for your feelings—your thinking is. No one is responsible for regulating your feelings and emotions but you. Navigating our own emotions is a big enough task for one person to handle, let alone taking on the added burden of managing someone else's emotions. To expect someone else to do it for you, you'll likely find yourself losing friendships and having a difficult time finding someone to share a life with.
The problem in relationships arises when our thoughts lead us to believe that we don't like what's happening or that we don't accept what has happened. When we place the blame on our partner for how we feel, we are giving away our power and control over our own emotions. (giving them the light switch to our mood, energy, feelings)
Your partner makes you feel loved not happy. Happiness is an internal job.
Instead of looking to others to validate our feelings, it's important to take ownership of our emotions and work through them on our own. A negative feeling is simply an alert, a siren that's pointing towards something that needs some healing. This doesn't mean that we can't seek support from our partners or loved ones, but ultimately, the responsibility lies with us to manage and understand our own feelings.
So, the next time you find yourself feeling upset or overwhelmed, take a step back and examine your thoughts. Are you placing the blame on someone else for how you feel? If this seems complicated or "hard" let's chat!
Remember, you have the power to choose how you react to situations and how you navigate your emotions. By taking ownership of your feelings, you can empower yourself to take control of your emotional well-being.