You’re not stuck in your relationship—you’re stuck in your head.
Here’s the hard truth no one likes to admit: Your relationship isn’t stuck because of your partner—it’s stuck because of your thoughts. If your mind is constantly playing the soundtrack of “what’s wrong,” “what’s missing,” and “why bother,” guess what you’re going to feel? Heavy. Disconnected. Alone. Exhausted. And you’ll act out those feelings in subtle and not-so-subtle ways—pulling back, over-controlling, shutting down, criticizing, judging, or people-pleasing until you’re barely recognizable to yourself. What's even more interesting is these actions get you more of what you DON'T WANT in your relationship.
Look I am not condoning what your partner did or didn't do. The more you wish it was different or try and control them, plot twist and spoiler alert, your relationship is circling the drain. I won't go into it here, look at the study of 4 Horseman by Dr John Gottman.
Back to the point I am making..
Let’s break this down: Picture yourself at a comedy movie, laughing so hard your cheeks hurt, you're consumed by the movie and the plot. In that moment, your thoughts are light, playful, joyful—so of course your feelings match. But what happens when the fire alarm blares and a fireman dressed in his full suit yells that the building is burning, you have minutes before the building collapses? Panic. Fear. Confusion. Again—your thoughts trigger those emotions instantly. See? You’re not broken or overly complicated—your thoughts are simply steering the wheel. And if you’ve been in emotional survival mode for years, that steering wheel might be stuck on the same detour of negativity, even when the road is clear.
So many new clients I meet are on a rollercoaster "feeling" their emotions and expressing them over and over and over again in a hypnotic way, seeking validation and colluding everywhere they go to reassure they aren't crazy for thinking their partner is a jerk. Again not saying they aren't.
What's that like living in a heavy, disconnected, alone(even though you're in the same room of your partner), exhausted, and sad? Not fun is it? And the deeper you become embedded with it, the more seductive that feeling is. You
r friendships will also shift and pivot, to feed your inner narrative.
So here’s the question: what would shift if you actually understood the patterns behind your moods, reactions, and emotional walls?
What if you could lead your thoughts instead of being led by them?
That’s the work I do with individuals in committed relationships who are tired of feeling emotionally stuck, heavy, or hopeless. If you’re ready to learn how to take back the driver’s seat and create something real, healthy, and life-giving—reach out. I’ll show you how.