Coaching Notes
Access bite‑sized coaching insights that help you shift patterns, deepen connection, and spark growth in moments that matter.
Crooked Bins, Crooked Thinking
A client once told me her neighbor ruined her mornings. The reason? Crooked trash bins. Every week, he’d leave them sideways, and every week she spiraled: “He’s disrespectful. He knows this bothers me. Why can’t people be decent and follow common courtesy?” The bins weren’t the problem. They were plastic. The suffering came from the 30 minutes she spent narrating what they meant, plus the phone calls around the neighborhood complaining and blaming, and the neighbors who eagerly validated her gripes. Every retelling strengthened her conviction that her feelings were caused by him. That’s how we innocently reinforce the illusion: the more we share our story and gather agreement, the more real it feels that our upset is “out there.” We forget we’re living in the feeling of our thinking, not the crooked bins. One morning, she caught it. She noticed the commentary her mind was spinning and stopped feeding it. No calls to the neighbors. No social media posts. The bins stayed crooked, but her peace stayed intact. This is what most of us miss: emotions don’t come from people, places, or things. They come from the meaning we attach. It’s not the bins. Not the email. Not the silence. It’s the thought that interprets it. The more you see this, the freer you become. You stop outsourcing your mood to your neighbor’s habits, your partner’s words, or the speed of traffic. Peace isn’t earned by controlling your environment. It’s remembered when you stop mistaking your thoughts for reality. Want a lighter life? Watch what happens when you pause the narration. The bins may still be crooked, but you’ll feel steady. That’s emotional freedom. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The biggest lie
We were taught, brainwashed, hypnotized and conditioned that other people “make us feel” a certain way. “She hurt your feelings.” “He made you mad.” “They embarrassed you.” It sounds small, but this one belief is the reason so many of us are suffering. Here’s the truth: no one has ever climbed inside your mind and pressed the “anger button.” No one has ever reached into your chest and installed “sadness.” Someone acts, you interpret, then you feel. The event is neutral. The story you attach to it creates the feeling. And this conditioning runs deep. It shapes how we show up at work, in our marriages, as parents, with friends, and even in how we treat ourselves. It makes us reactive, resentful, and constantly waiting for others to change so we can feel better. It erodes our wellbeing because it puts our peace in someone else’s hands. Think about it: Your boss criticizes your work. One day you feel crushed, another day you take it as feedback. Same words. Different thought. Different feeling. Your partner is quiet at dinner. When you’re insecure, you feel rejected. When you’re grounded, you enjoy the silence. Same silence. Different thought. Different feeling. Someone cuts you off in traffic. Sometimes you rage, other times you shrug. Same car. Different thought. Different feeling. It’s never the person. It’s always the thought. Your emotions live in you, not in them. And when you see that, you stop suffering needlessly. You stop waiting for life to bend to you. You stop giving your power away. Your mind is the painter. Life is the canvas. The brush is always in your hand. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Silence Isn’t the Problem
A client once told me, “My husband’s silence makes me feel invisible.” At first glance, for most it might seem obvious. His silence was the problem, WRONG. When we slowed down, she noticed something different and powerful. His silence wasn’t new. He had always been a quiet man. What changed was the meaning her mind attached to it. When she felt insecure, she read silence as rejection. When she felt steady, she read silence as peace. Same silence. Different thought. Different feeling. That’s the power of the mind. Here’s the deeper truth: feelings do not come from silence, words, or people. They come from the thoughts we attach to those moments. The world around us doesn’t inject feelings into us. Our mind interprets, and our body feels. This is where coaching creates transformation. Not by teaching you how to fix someone else, but by holding space for you to see what is really happening inside your own mind. The world may stay the same, yet your experience of it can change in an instant when you see the thought that is shaping it. You cannot always control someone’s words or actions. You can see how your interpretations create your reality. And once you see it, you can choose again. That moment of awareness? That is freedom. That is leadership. That is the quiet magic of coaching. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Neutral Moments, Loud Minds
The Empty Text Bubble. We’ve all been there, staring at those three little dots on your phone. Someone is typing. You wait. You hold your breath. And then… nothing, the bubbles stop and nothing comes through. Your stomach twists. Your mind races. “They’re ignoring me.” “They must be mad.” “Did I say something wrong?” Here’s the truth: you’re not feeling the dots. You’re feeling the story you attached to them. The dots are neutral. Always were. Always will be. It’s the meaning you paint on top that creates the storm. This is how life usually works. A traffic jam. An unanswered email. A pause before someone replies. None of these things carry emotion on their own. It’s your mind that lights them up, assigning meaning, turning neutral moments into charged experiences. When you confuse the two, you live in reactivity. You ride the emotional rollercoaster of every silence, every delay, every glance. It feels like the world is jerking you around, but it’s your own thoughts holding the rope. This is the shift I help people make. From being run by the noise of their mind to leading from clarity. From attaching drama to the mundane to choosing how they want to feel, regardless of the moment. The three dots don’t define you. Neither does their silence. You get to decide what story to feed, and what experience to live. So the question isn’t “Why didn’t they text back?” The question is: What story am I creating, and is it one I want to keep living? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The problem isn’t their behavior
“It’s not their behavior that wrecks you. It’s the voice in your head about it.” Think about it. Someone cuts you off in traffic. One person shrugs and keeps driving. Another stews for hours, replaying the moment, inventing stories about disrespect, how the driver’s reckless, how their license should be taken away, you’d never drive that way and so on. Same event. Two completely different inner worlds. That driver is just a metaphor. In real life, it might be your partner, your boss, your sibling, a parent, a co-worker, or even a stranger online. Their behavior is the “spark” but it’s the voice in your head that decides if your whole day gets hijacked. Here’s the truth: this isn’t a “them” problem. It’s a thinking problem. People act. Situations unfold. But the commentary you add is what makes it heavy, exhausting, or unbearable. Your nervous system reacts more to the story you tell about the moment than to the moment itself. This is where my work comes in. I help people notice that voice instead of being owned by it. To recognize: When you’ve labeled someone and your brain is just collecting “evidence.” When an old wound is speaking louder than the present moment. When your story about the event is more painful than the event itself. And here’s the best part, you don’t have to silence the voice. You just have to see it for what it is: Thought. Temporary. Optional. That’s not just mindset work. It’s freedom. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When the Label Becomes the Prison
A client once told me her boss ruined her mornings. She’d step into the office already braced for his criticism, carrying yesterday’s words like fresh wounds. One sharp comment, and the rest of her day was gone. Then something shifted. She noticed he used the same phrases with everyone. Same tone. Same delivery. The difference wasn’t him, it was her mind. She had already labeled him as a “critical micromanager,” so her brain went hunting for proof. Every eyebrow raised, every note in his voice, every email, every piece of feedback slid neatly into that box. And when you put someone in a box, you stop seeing the whole of them. That’s the seduction of a negative frame. Once the label sticks, it colors everything. You don’t notice their strengths, their moments of fairness, their humanity, you only collect evidence for the case you’ve already built. And the more you repeat that story, the more convincing it feels, until your nervous system reacts as if you’re under attack, even when you’re not. The day she saw this, the grip loosened. The commentary was optional. She realized she could hear his words without the “he’s critical” filter, take what was useful, and let the rest fall flat. The boss didn’t change. The environment didn’t soften. Yet her mornings transformed from heavy to steady. That’s the power of seeing thought for what it is. You don’t need to silence it, fight it, or debate it. You just need to see you’re not obligated to believe every story your brain offers. Notice the difference: • His words existed. • Her label created the suffering. • Once she dropped the frame, she got her mornings back. So here’s the real question: where are you still mistaking commentary for truth? And what would change if you saw it for what it is, a story, not reality? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Stop Chasing False Alarms
Imagine you’re walking through a parking lot and a car alarm blares. It’s loud. Urgent. Impossible to ignore. But does it mean there’s a real emergency? Not always. Sometimes it’s just wind, a bump, or a faulty sensor. Your brain works the same way. The loudest thoughts aren’t always the truest ones. They’re like that alarm, meant to grab your attention, not necessarily to guide your next move. “You’re not good enough.” “They don’t respect you.” “This will never work.” These alarms feel urgent, but urgency does not equal truth. Here’s where self-leadership comes in. You can notice the alarm without running toward it. You can pause, ask, “Is this thought a real threat or just noise?” and choose how you want to respond. That moment of awareness changes everything. I support individuals in training their brain to work for them instead of against them. We slow down the inner alarms, separate fact from faulty sensors, and practice responding from clarity instead of noise. The shift is subtle but powerful. Less reactivity, more peace. Your loudest thought is not always your wisest thought. And when you learn to tell the difference, life feels less like a parking lot full of blaring alarms and more like a calm drive with you in control of the wheel. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Life Looks Different Through a Clear Lens
Imagine you’re wearing sunglasses with red lenses. Everything looks red. You could swear the world itself is red, but if you take them off or swap them for blue lenses, the scene changes instantly. The world didn’t change. Only the lens did. Your thoughts are those lenses. When you’re looking through “life is against me” lenses, you’ll find proof everywhere. Swap them for “I can figure this out” lenses, and the exact same situation feels lighter, more possible. That’s how simple the human mind is, it’s not an endless puzzle to solve. It runs on whatever filter you give it. The challenge is most people don’t know they’re wearing tinted lenses at all. They think they’re just “seeing life as it is.” Here’s where I come in. I help people notice the lens they’re wearing, set down the ones that distort reality, and train their mind to work for them instead of against them. We do this through simple, repeatable shifts, not hacks, not toxic positivity, so you can move through life without being yanked around by every thought. When you learn to swap lenses, you don’t have to force a better life. You start seeing it. What color lenses are you wearing? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Life is Neutral. Season It Well.
Your feelings don’t come from life itself. Go ahead and argue with me. They come from the thoughts you have about life in the moment you’re experiencing it. Life is neutral until thought gives it flavor. That flavor might be bitter, sweet, or bland, but it’s coming from the seasoning in your head, not the plate of life itself. Here’s the tricky part. When you believe you’re at the mercy of events, you start trying to manage people, fix situations, and control outcomes just to feel okay. It’s exhausting. It never works for long. And you suffer in the process of bending reality that has never been in your control and never will be. The shift happens when you see that you’re not actually reacting to life. You’re reacting to the meaning your mind is assigning to it in real time. Change the meaning, and the emotional experience changes with it. This is what I help clients do. We slow down enough to see the gap between the event and the story. In that gap, you find choice. You see new ways of relating to your thoughts without gripping them so tightly. You stop needing the world to bend to your comfort and start leading from the inside out. It’s not about pretending life is all sunshine. It’s about recognizing your built-in ability to find peace, clarity, and strength no matter what is happening around you. The plate of life may not change, but you can change the seasoning. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your Mind is
The Filter
Most people logically understand this but rarely live it. We know our mood can swing wildly from one day to the next even when life itself has not changed. We have all had mornings where the smallest thing feels like a crisis, and other days where the exact same thing barely registers. That is not the world changing. That is you. Right now, your mind is showing you a version of reality shaped entirely by the thoughts you are having. If those thoughts sound like, “This isn’t fair… People never listen… Nothing ever works out for me,” that is the filter you will see the day through, heavy, tight, and frustrating. When your thoughts carry blame and complain energy, you will spot every little inconvenience and treat it as proof that life is hard, that people are against you, and that you are justified in judging or resenting them. If your thoughts shift, even slightly, to “Maybe this isn’t personal… Maybe I can handle this… Maybe it’s just a moment,” the weight starts to lift. The same situation feels lighter, your shoulders drop, and suddenly there is space to see options you could not see before. Nothing around you changed. The meeting still ran late. The email still arrived. The traffic is still there. Yet your experience of it is completely different. Think about traffic. One day it is unbearable. Another day it is just background noise. Same cars. Same road. Different headspace. It is everyday logic, yet most of us still behave as if the world has to change before we can feel better. Here is the hard truth. We cannot control people, places, things, situations, or circumstances. Your nervous system is not reacting to life itself. It is reacting to your interpretation of life. If you want a different experience, start by noticing when your mind is selling you the “it’s all terrible” story and remember, it is just a story. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Truth Isn’t What You Think It Is
You’re not at the mercy of life. You’re at the mercy of what you’re thinking about life. I know: “Yeah, but my situation is the problem.” That’s what makes this tricky. Most people don’t realize they’re thinking. They believe they’re just “seeing the truth.” If you’re ready and armed to give all the reasons, justifications, blame shifting and excuses, you’re deep into the weeds of thought. This is an example of someone that’s a problem expert, you’re focused on the wrong thing. Your nervous system isn’t reacting to your boss, your partner, the traffic, or the economy. It’s reacting to the meaning you’ve assigned to them. That meaning comes from thought. Think of two people in the same rainstorm. One feels ruined. One feels refreshed. Same weather. Different experience. It’s not about denying reality. It’s about noticing the lens you’re looking through. Because the moment you see it’s a lens, you have more than one way to see. Reflection: If my feelings are coming from my thoughts, not from life itself… what changes without the storm outside needing to pass first? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Don’t Buy What Your Mind Sells
If it feels like life is happening to you, this might sting, but it could also set you free. Your feelings aren’t coming from your job, your partner, your debt, or your family. They’re coming from the mental pop-up ads that appear when you think about those things. Thought is built-in, a beautiful gift we were given as humans. But most people misuse it. They treat every pop-up like urgent news instead of what it really is: an automated script built from past experiences, bias, and fear. You react to the ad, click on it, and suddenly you’re down an emotional rabbit hole wondering why your life isn’t where you want it to be. Pop-ups arrive by habit. Automatic. Intrusive. Often irrelevant to what’s actually in front of you. Most of the time they aren’t in alignment with your values, morals, principles or with your goals. Believing and clicking on every single one? That’s optional. You can’t stop the pop-ups, but you can stop clicking. Think of it like having an internal ad filter, the thoughts still show up, they just don’t get to hijack your emotions and you don’t take action from them. Your peace stays yours. Today, catch one mental pop-up before you click. Ask: “Is this fact, or just my mind selling me a story?” That pause is where your freedom lives. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When Silence Sends You Spinning
Ever send a vulnerable text… and get no response? Your chest tightens. Your mind races. Silence becomes a story. Here’s what happens next, not outside of you, but inside your mind: Event: You don’t get a response after sharing something real, raw and vulnerable. What path does your mind automatically take A, B or C? Silence Isn’t an Answer (But Your Mind Might Think It Is) A – The Blame Path “Of course. They don’t care. People always leave. I should’ve known better.” Feeling: Rejected, defensive, spiraling. Result: You shut down or lash out. The pain compounds. B – The Curious Path “Hm. Maybe they’re just busy. I can follow up tomorrow or just let it sit.” Feeling: Open, steady. Result: You stay grounded. No need to make it personal. C – The Empowered Path “This is just thought. I’ll notice the noise but not grip it. My peace isn’t on the line here.” Feeling: Settled, clear. Result: You move forward from center, not from fear. Same event. Three different experiences. Your experience isn’t coming from the silence. It’s coming from the story your mind tells about the silence. There’s choice in every moment of everyday life. We can’t control our thoughts. We can choose how we feel. That’s the power of seeing thought for what it is: Passing energy, not the truth, not fact. Reacting is just a habit of thought. You don’t have to believe everything your mind says. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your Mind’s the Culprit,
Not Your Life
You’re not wrong that life feels hard. You’re just misreading the source. It’s not your boss. Not your partner. Not the guy who cut you off in traffic. Those things don’t reach into your nervous system and pull the panic switch. Only one thing does: thought. And here’s the twist, thought looks like truth, but it’s just sound. Your mind is like a radio. If you don’t like the station playing, stop screaming at the tower. Change the station. Yes, you’ll still feel the static. Yes, the volume might spike. But once you realize it’s your tuner, you stop living like a victim of outside noise. Life doesn’t have to be sunny for you to be happy. Question to sit with: What station has your mind been stuck on lately? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Mental Wheel
The Hamster Wheel in Your Head Ever feel like you're exhausted but not getting anywhere? You might be stuck in thought loops. Same worries. Same interpretations. Same stories. Like a hamster sprinting in place, heart pounding, going nowhere. You think you're making progress because there's motion. But it's mental motion, not forward motion. You’re not solving anything. You’re just rehearsing your suffering. Circular thinking feels productive, like you're figuring it out. But most of the time, you're just replaying old fears, assumptions, and meanings you've never questioned. Imagine watching the same bad movie over and over, hoping the ending will change. (Groundhog Day) It won’t. Not until you change the channel. Pause. Notice the loop. Ask: What am I believing right now? What if I don’t have to chase this thought to the end? Freedom begins the moment you stop running in circles and realize you’re already free to step off the wheel. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your First thought is Lying to you
Next time someone cuts you off, pause. Catch the first thought that shows up. Maybe it’s: “What a complete moron.” (or worse names) Maybe it’s: “Oh, great. Another graduate of the School of Terrible Drivers.” Maybe it’s… something your grandma would not approve of. Now, swap it. “Maybe they didn’t see me.” “Maybe they’re rushing to the hospital.” “Maybe they’re late for a colonoscopy and things are urgent in ways I don’t want to picture.” “Not worth my peace today.” Feel the shift? Jaw unclenches. Grip loosens. Breath returns. And all that without a single thing outside of you changing. That’s the point. When you learn to edit the story your mind hands you, you stop being at the mercy of strangers, traffic, or the news. You start living from the inside out, where your state comes from what you choose to focus on, not from whatever chaos life throws your way. The benefit? Less time stewing. More energy for things you care about. A nervous system that isn’t constantly in fight‑or‑flight. And the kind of peace that’s harder to steal, because it’s not stored in other people’s behavior. Next time life cuts you off, literally or figuratively, remember: you don’t have to ride shotgun with your first thought. Fire it. Hire a better one. Your peace is too expensive to hand over to the next bad driver. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Haunted by a Story, Not Reality
Ever notice how two people can experience the exact same thing and walk away feeling completely different? That’s because we’re never reacting to raw reality. We’re reacting to the story our mind tells about it. Your boss says, “Can we talk?” Your brain writes a thriller: You’re in trouble. Stress hits. You spiral. The truth? It was about a project deadline. (neutral) Your partner walks away mid-convo. You tell yourself: They don’t care. They never listen. Now you’re pissed. Maybe they just had to pee. (neutral) Here’s the twist: Your mind is like a haunted house. The walls are filled with old echoes, past experiences, childhood fears, unchallenged beliefs. Every creak and shadow feels personal and dangerous, even when it’s just the wind. You’re not reacting to what’s actually in front of you. You’re reacting to the jump-scare your mind thinks is there. The “haunted” part? Most of these rooms were decorated years ago by other people, parents, teachers, exes, culture, tv, movies, music, and you’ve been walking through them ever since, assuming they’re reality. Blame feels like a flashlight. It gives you a quick hit of power in the dark. But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still inside the same haunted house. Until you start questioning the story, turning on the real lights, you’ll keep jumping at shadows that were never a threat in the first place. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Peace Was Never
Out There
We spend years trying to fix what’s out there. Our partner. Our boss. Our past. Our kids Our body. Our bank account. Our parents Our friends Our neighbors Our co-workers We chase change in circumstances, convinced that once this is better, then I’ll feel better. But what if we’ve been solving the wrong problem? What if your experience isn’t coming from your life... but from your thoughts about your life? You’re not feeling your partner. You’re feeling your thinking about your partner. You’re not stressed because of your bank account. You’re stressed because of the meaning you gave it. That doesn’t mean your life doesn’t need action or change. But the internal war? That’s not caused by the situation. It’s caused by believing every thought your mind throws at you. Because here’s the quiet truth: As your thinking shifts, your feelings shift, even if nothing out there changes. So the path to peace might not start with fixing your life. It might start with noticing your thought about it. Noticing what’s actually happening… versus the story you’re living in about it. That’s the real reset. That’s what changes everything, from the inside out. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Unsubscribe the
Junk Mail
Your brain is like an email inbox. Every day, it gets flooded with messages. Some are helpful. Some are junk. Some are downright misleading. But here’s the key: you don’t control what comes in. You control what you open. Most people don’t realize this. They think because a thought showed up, it must matter. So they click on everything, every insecurity, every memory, every worst-case scenario their mind delivers. They read it, react to it, spiral from it, and wonder why they feel overwhelmed. Just like your email, not everything that arrives is worth your time, energy, or belief. Some are old patterns. Some are outdated subscriptions from childhood. Some are spam disguised as “important.” And some were never even written by you in the first place, they were copied, forwarded, or picked up from someone else. Still, you treat them like truth. You open them, believe them, and react from them without filtering. And then you say “this is just how I feel” or “this is just who I am.” When really, you just never checked the sender. You’re not reacting to reality. You’re reacting to mental emails that never got verified. You're giving your emotional passwords to any message that shows up in the inbox. Want more peace? Start here: Stop automatically opening every thought. Start asking: Who sent this? Does this need a reply? What’s the cost of clicking on this one? Peace isn’t found in inbox zero. Peace is found in knowing you’re the one with the login. You’re allowed to delete. You’re allowed to unsubscribe. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your Thoughts Are Not the Landlord
You wouldn’t hand your house keys to a stranger. So why do you keep giving your peace of mind to every thought that shows up? This isn't about learning how to control your thoughts (not possible). It's about waking up to what thought is, a transient, impersonal energy that flows through your mind in the moment. It paints your entire experience of life. Stress? Comes through thought. Joy? Comes through thought. Resentment, calm, fear, confidence, every emotional flavor gets filtered through whatever thinking is sitting on your mental windshield at the time. Here’s the twist most people miss: Not all thoughts are true. And almost none are final. They show up like door-to-door salespeople. Some are harmless. Some are pushy. Some sound wise but are dead wrong. Most are just echoes of old stories you never meant to subscribe to in the first place. And yet, we keep handing over the keys, letting fear drive, letting resentment call the shots, letting shame lock us in, as if every thought is the boss of us. So here’s the shift: You don’t need to “think positively.” You don’t need to manage or fix or fight your thoughts. You just need to see that they’re not you. That clarity? It changes everything. Because once you see a thought as a visitor, not a landlord, you stop rearranging your life around it. You stop defending it. You stop spiraling with it. You stop mistaking it for truth. You get curious instead. You breathe. You let it pass. That’s the real freedom. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Feelings Aren’t Facts
Your feelings aren’t reacting to life. They’re reacting to the story you’re telling about it. Most people think emotions are proof. Proof that something's wrong. Proof that someone crossed a line. Proof that they’re not being valued, heard, loved, or respected. Here’s the thing, feelings don’t show up on their own. They follow thought. And thought doesn’t always ask if it’s true before it starts shouting. Your nervous system isn’t reacting to what happened. It’s reacting to what your mind said it meant. That silence in the room? One person thinks, “They’re mad at me.” Another thinks, “They’re just preoccupied.” Same silence. Two different emotional storms, only because of the story behind it. Feelings are not the enemy. They’re messengers. They bring you the plot your brain has been writing, sometimes non-consciously, often out of habit. And if that plot is built on old pain, assumptions, or fear? The feelings will reflect that, not reality. Not facts. This doesn’t mean your emotions aren’t real. Every feeling is valid, it’s connected to thoughts that are ruining untamed. They’re real signals. Alerts. Alarms. Old beliefs. Old stories unchecked. Signals based on the channel you’re watching and believing. Change the channel, and the story changes. Question the story, you change the experience. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Peace Was
Never Gone
You don’t earn it by fixing your life. You don’t chase it like a reward for getting things “right.” And you don’t lose it when things go wrong. Peace is your baseline, your original setting. Like the sun, it doesn’t vanish. It just gets temporarily covered. What’s the cloud? Thought. Specifically: thought you believe without question. Noticing a thought isn’t the issue. It’s when you buy in, treating a passing idea like a concrete truth, that the spiral begins. The anxious thought says: “This will never get better.” You believe it. You tense up. The blaming thought says: “They’re the reason I feel this way.” You believe it. You lash out. The shame thought says: “Something’s wrong with me.” You believe it. You shut down. You’re not reacting to the world. You’re reacting to the meaning your mind added. The Foggy Windshield Tasha was driving to work, late, tense, dreading a meeting. Traffic crawled. Her inbox was stacked. Her mind was spinning: “Why does everything feel so hard?” “Nobody gets how much pressure I’m under.” “I should’ve planned better.” Her chest tightened. Peace? Gone. Then the sun cut through the clouds. She noticed her windshield was fogged. That was the moment. She turned on the defroster. Slowly, the view cleared. And with it, so did her panic. Nothing outside had changed. The traffic. The meeting. The inbox. All still there. But inside? Different weather. She saw it clearly It wasn’t the day that overwhelmed her. It was the meaning she had layered onto it. Not the event. The thought about the event. And when she stopped gripping her thoughts like gospel, peace returned. Not because she earned it. Because it was always there just waiting behind the fog. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Neutral words. Charged response.
Imagine someone says: “You look tired.” A simple, neutral observation. Now watch what the mind does: Person A thinks, “They care about me.” Their nervous system softens. They feel seen, maybe even comforted. Emotion: Warmth. Response: Connection. Person B thinks, “Wow, do I look that bad?” Their brain scans for flaws. Self-consciousness kicks in. Emotion: Embarrassment. Response: Withdrawal. Person C thinks, “They always have something negative to say.” Past memories get activated. Defenses go up. Emotion: Resentment. Response: Distance. (have you been person ab or c recently?) Same sentence. Three different realities. Why? Because we don’t respond to words. We respond to the meaning we attach to them. And most of that meaning? It’s not conscious. It’s filtered through: Our insecurities Our memories Our current emotional state Our assumptions about the speaker Our past wounds and stories The words weren’t the problem. Our interpretation is. We take something neutral, and personalize it. We add story, judgment, and emotional weight. And then we blame the other person for how we feel. What’s really happening? We’re constantly assigning meaning to every interaction. And often, we confuse our interpretation with truth. Here’s the kicker: None of these interpretations were “right.” They were just different lenses. This is how two people can walk away from the same conversation with completely different emotional takeaways. So what’s the takeaway? Words don’t hurt. What you think about the words does. You’re not reacting to what was said. You’re reacting to the story your mind created about it. The emotional mess isn’t coming from the interaction. It’s coming from how personal your mind made it. Want less chaos in your relationships? Learn to notice the meaning your mind adds. Then ask: Is that the only way to see this? Or is it just my default lens? Because peace doesn’t come from other people saying the “right” things. It comes from your ability to see thought for what it is, a passing story, not the final word. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your thoughts are the lens.
Your emotions are the weather.
"You don’t feel what’s happening. You feel what you’re thinking about what’s happening." You don’t feel events directly. You feel your thought-created perception of those events in every single moment of every day. Thought acts like a filter between reality and your nervous system. Your body doesn’t respond to life directly, it responds to the meaning you give it, moment to moment. That’s why two people can live through the same situation and have totally different emotional reactions. It's not the event. It’s the interpretation. You’re not feeling the situation.(I know we were conditioned to believe that) You’re feeling your thinking about the situation. It’s not the event. It’s the story your mind tells about it. And that story? It can shift. Which means how you feel can shift too, even if nothing outside of you changes. Imagine you’re wearing tinted sunglasses. You think the world is dark, maybe even stormy. But it’s not the sky, it’s the lens. Your mind works the same way. You don’t feel reality as it is. You feel it through the lens of your thoughts. Different lens, different emotional weather. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
She Reacted to a Thought
Tasha had been looking forward to dinner all week. It had been a stressful stretch at work for both of them, and she wanted to reconnect. She lit a candle, picked a spot with their favorite dishes, and even changed outfits twice. Not because she felt pressured, but because she cared. She wanted to feel close again. When her partner arrived, she felt a flicker of anticipation. But almost immediately, she noticed something was off. He smiled briefly, then glanced down at his phone. A few minutes into dinner, she noticed he was not making eye contact. When she brought up something funny that happened earlier in the day, he gave a distracted “Oh, nice” without really responding. She tried again. A different topic. Another story. Still distracted. By the time the appetizer arrived, her stomach was in knots. Her face was calm, but her inner dialogue was loud and sharp. “This doesn’t matter to him.” “He’s bored. With me. With us.” “I go out of my way to show up and it still isn’t enough.” “I guess I care more than he does.” The rest of the meal felt hollow. Her heart was closed. Her mind had made its decision. And here’s the part that matters most: Her pain felt real. Her disappointment was real. Her shutdown was real. But the source of the pain? That was NOT her partner’s behavior. It was the meaning she attached to it. It was the movie playing in her mind. What Tasha did not know was that her partner had just gotten a stressful message about a project deadline that might affect his entire team and his career. He was trying not to bring it into the evening, not realizing that his silence was doing exactly that. He had no clue she was hurt. He thought she was just tired. Tasha was not reacting to her partner. She was reacting to her perception of his behavior. And her perception was filtered through hope, expectation, vulnerability, and fear. This is what happens when we forget we are living inside our own mind. We watch a movie written by our past experiences and emotional memory, and we project it onto the people around us. Then we feel the emotions that come from that projection and call them facts. She felt dismissed, not because he dismissed her, but because she interpreted his distraction as disinterest. She spiraled, not because he said something cruel, but because she assumed his silence meant he didn’t care. We all do this. Every day. We fill in the blanks. We assign meaning. Personalize things that are neutral. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Who’s holding the remote to your emotions?
Imagine your emotions are controlled by a remote. You’ve got the power. You decide the channel, the volume, the pause, the skip, the full experience of what you tune into. Now picture this… Someone says something that hits a nerve, rude, dismissive, judgmental. Without even thinking, you hand them the remote and say, “Here. You control how I feel now.” They walk away, maybe not even noticing the effect, but you're left stewing. And every time you see them? Or remember what they did? You hand the remote over again. And again. And again. You’re not just giving it away once. You’re giving them season pass access to your inner world. That grudge you’re holding? It’s like taping the remote to their hand and saying, “Even in your absence, I’ll keep replaying this channel.” They don’t even have to be in the room to mess with your mood anymore. They live rent-free in your emotional living room, flipping through your feelings like it’s cable. And let’s be honest, half the time they don’t even know. You’re the one stuck rewatching the same scene on repeat. So the question becomes: Are you ready to take the remote back? Because real power isn’t found in controlling what other people say or do. It’s found in realizing: They never held the remote to begin with. You just forgot you could reach for it. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Blame Feels Powerful,
Until It Doesn't
Your experience isn’t coming from them. It’s coming through you. That person who drives you nuts? They’re not injecting feelings into your body. Your thoughts about them are. Wishing someone would "step on a Lego" every morning is just your personal frustration looking for an outlet. It might feel justified, you probably have a long list of reasons why they deserve a taste of their own medicine. But your pain? It’s not coming from their behavior. It’s coming from what your mind makes it mean. Here’s the kicker: If you believe someone else has the power to make you miserable… You’re also believing they have the power to make you happy. But you can’t force anyone to change. So now what? You’re stuck, miserable, powerless, frustrated, disappointed, maybe even furious. That’s the trap of righteous blame. It feels like strength, but it’s actually emotional outsourcing. Want your power back? Stop handing people the keys to your emotional life. Peace isn’t found in changing them, it’s found in seeing how you’re creating your experience in the first place. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Peace is an inside job
Would you hand your house keys to a stranger just because they knocked? No way. So why hand over your peace of mind to every thought that shows up uninvited? Thoughts will come, wild ones, painful ones, dramatic ones. That’s normal. What’s optional is believing every single one of them. Letting them move in, redecorate your mood, and take control of your emotional thermostat? That’s on us. Here’s the truth most people don’t want to hear: You don’t have to feel everything your mind offers. Just because a thought shows up doesn’t mean it deserves your full emotional attention. Thoughts are like clouds passing through the sky, some light and fluffy, others dark and stormy, but none of them can force you to feel anything without your permission. You can pause, breathe, and choose how you want to respond. That gap between thought and reaction? That’s where your power lives. This isn’t about suppressing or avoiding your emotions. It’s about understanding where they actually come from. Your feelings don’t come from what someone said, or what’s happening around you, they come from what you’re thinking about what happened. Every emotion you feel starts as a thought in your mind. The outside world doesn’t inject you with stress, sadness, or shame. Your interpretation does that. Which means you’re never at the mercy of your circumstances, you’re simply responding to the meaning you’ve given them. Owning your feelings means recognizing that no one else is holding the remote to your inner world unless you hand it over. And when you see that? You stop blaming, and complaining, you start breathing, and finally reclaim the peace that was never actually lost, just buried under belief. Recognizing that how you feel isn’t a product of your partner’s tone, your coworker’s email, or the news headline. It’s a product of what thought you’re tuning into, and what story you’re telling yourself. That’s power. That’s freedom. Stop renting your peace to every mental squatter. It’s your emotional home. Start acting like the landlord. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Movie In Your Mind
Sarah dreaded Mondays. Her stomach would tighten as she walked into the office, her mind already rehearsing how the weekly team meeting might go. Her boss had a sharp tongue, quick to point out mistakes in front of everyone. Each comment felt like a tiny dagger: “You really missed the mark on that,” “Did you even think this through?” Sarah left those meetings feeling small, deflated, and convinced her confidence was crumbling under his relentless criticism. In her head, the story was clear: “He makes me feel this way. He’s the reason I doubt myself. He’s the reason I can’t speak up anymore.” Then one Monday, her boss called in sick. There would be no meeting. No jabs. No critical tone slicing through the air. Sarah stayed home that day, sitting at her kitchen table with a cup of tea. Logically, she should have felt relief. Her “trigger” wasn’t there. Yet her chest was still tight. Her thoughts were racing, rehearsing how their next meeting might go. She replayed old conversations, hearing his voice in her head as clearly as if he were standing there. And then it hit her, like a glass shattering on the floor. “Wait… he’s not even here. He’s not saying anything. Why do I still feel this?” For the first time, Sarah saw it. The anxiety wasn’t coming from him. It never was. It wasn’t stored in the sound of his voice or locked in the four walls of that conference room. It was coming from the movie playing in her mind, her own thoughts, the meaning she makes out of it, the looping, vivid, convincing. And every time she replayed his words, gathered “evidence” of his flaws, or vented about him to coworkers, she unknowingly hit play on the reel again. Each blame-filled thought kept her locked in the theater, watching the same painful scenes on repeat. Here’s the thing, this realization doesn’t condone her boss’s behavior. It doesn’t excuse poor leadership or mean she shouldn’t address what’s happening. It simply points to this: Her suffering didn’t come from what he said once. It came from her mind keeping the conversation alive a hundred times after. The real villain wasn’t him, it was believing he held the power to create her feelings. She can’t force him to be different, likely it will cause more challenges. In that quiet moment, Sarah realized something radical: “If it’s my thought movie, maybe I don’t have to keep watching it.” And from there, for the first time in years, she felt the tiniest crack of freedom. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your inner critic is a heckler
What if the voice in your head wasn’t your truth, but a cranky old man in his underwear? There’s a woman who, for years, carried a leather-bound journal everywhere she went. It wasn’t full of dreams, gratitude lists, or affirmations, no. This journal was a catalogue of every harsh, cutting thing her inner voice hurled at her in a day. “You’re failing.” “Of course they don’t respect you, why would they?” “You’ll never get out of this mess. You’re too far gone.” She thought writing them down would help her gain control over them. But instead, it felt like she was etching them into stone. She would read the pages back at night, and the words, her own words, sank into her chest like heavy stones. She believed every single one. And the more she believed, the more she withdrew, stuck in cycles of blame, despair, and self-punishment. Then one morning, after a sleepless night spent wrestling with a fresh wave of self-criticism, something strange happened. She was sitting on her couch, staring blankly at the wall, when she imagined the voice as an actual person. He appeared in her mind’s eye as a drunk grumpy old man, beer belly, messy hair, wearing nothing but saggy underwear and mismatched socks. He was sitting in her living room recliner, yelling at the TV about politics and how “nothing’s ever gonna change.” She watched him toss popcorn at the screen, scowling and muttering, “You’ll never get it right. Why even try?” She blinked, almost laughing. Wait a second. This is the guy I’ve been letting run my life? This cranky, out-of-touch houseguest? In that moment, something cracked open. She realized she didn’t have to believe every word he said. He could yell all he wanted, but she didn’t have to argue, serve him tea, or even let him choose the channel. From then on, whenever those old thoughts arose “You’re not enough,” “You’re screwing it all up” she pictured him in his underwear, shouting into the void. “Ah. There he is again,” she’d say softly. And she’d go about her day. The moral? Not every thought is a truth. Not every voice in your head deserves a microphone. You can’t always stop the noise, but you can stop handing it the keys to your life. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
What’s the movie you keep blaming?
Are you holding someone else responsible for a movie playing in your mind? You’re sitting in a dark theater, popcorn in hand, eyes glued to the screen. The story unfolds. You laugh. You cry. Your chest tightens during a suspenseful scene. You might even jump in your seat when something unexpected happens. It feels so real. Your heart’s pounding. Your palms are sweaty. Your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between “real life” and this projected illusion. But pause. Look closer... Nothing on that screen is physically reaching out to touch you. No actor is stepping off the screen to grab your heart and squeeze it. No villain is climbing out of the projector to make you angry. It’s all light and sound, bouncing off a blank wall. The truth? Your entire emotional experience is happening inside you. Your mind sees the images, hears the sounds, and spins a story. That story pulls you in, and your feelings respond, not to the screen, but to the meaning your mind creates around it. Now imagine blaming the movie: “It’s the actor’s fault I’m crying.” “It’s the villain’s fault I’m furious.” “If only they wrote a happier ending, I wouldn’t feel this way.” Sounds ridiculous, right? But here’s the real question: Where in your life are you doing this? Where are you blaming, complaining, or waiting for something outside you to change, without realizing it’s just the movie in your mind? Are you caught up in a storyline that isn’t actually reaching out and touching you? Yet this is exactly what we do. We believe other people’s words, actions, or moods cause our feelings. “They made me angry.” “They made me feel unloved.” “They ruined my day.” Just like the movie screen, other people’s behavior is just light and sound. It can’t crawl into your mind and inject emotions into you. Your feelings aren’t coming from them, they’re coming from your mind engaging with the “story” of what’s happening. When you really see this, it doesn’t mean you’ll stop feeling things. The movie might still make you cry. Life might still sting sometimes. But you’ll stop trying to control the screen. You’ll stop handing other people the remote to your emotions. You’ll remember, your peace, your joy, your power, has never lived out there. It’s been here all along. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s never the traffic, It’s always the thought about the traffic
It really looks like other people hold the remote to your emotions, their tone turns up your anger, their silence turns down your peace, their approval cranks up your joy. Pause for a second. What’s actually happening? You’re not feeling them. You’re feeling thought in the moment, your mind’s lightning-fast interpretation of what’s going on. Your brain doesn’t hand you a clean, objective “readout” of reality. It hands you a story. A movie. Complete with a script, dramatic music, and an Oscar-worthy performance from… you. Their silence? Not inherently stressful. It’s your mind whispering, “They’re rejecting you. They’re angry. You messed up again.” that creates the knot in your stomach. Their approval? Not joy itself. It’s your thought, “I must be lovable, I’m finally enough because they like me,” that gives you the rush. See it? The world isn’t making you feel anything. It’s your thinking about the world that’s painting your emotional landscape, moment to moment. Here’s the kicker: It was never out there. It never could be. The entire emotional experience is generated within you. That’s good news! Because if it’s created inside… It’s within your power to work on it, that’s where freedom and happiness lives too. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It Has Nothing To Do With Them
It really looks like other people hold the remote to your emotions, their tone turns up your anger, their silence turns down your peace, their approval cranks up your joy. Pause for a second. What’s actually happening? You’re not feeling them. You’re feeling thought in the moment, your mind’s lightning-fast interpretation of what’s going on. Your brain doesn’t hand you a clean, objective “readout” of reality. It hands you a story. A movie. Complete with a script, dramatic music, and an Oscar-worthy performance from… you. Their silence? Not inherently stressful. It’s your mind whispering, “They’re rejecting you. They’re angry. You messed up again.” that creates the knot in your stomach. Their approval? Not joy itself. It’s your thought, “I must be lovable, I’m finally enough because they like me,” that gives you the rush. See it? The world isn’t making you feel anything. It’s your thinking about the world that’s painting your emotional landscape, moment to moment. Here’s the kicker: It was never out there. It never could be. The entire emotional experience is generated within you. That’s good news! Because if it’s created inside… It’s within your power to work on it, that’s where freedom and happiness lives too. “Think happy thoughts and feel happy. Think sad thoughts and feel sad. What’s the lesson?” isn’t saying force positive thinking. It’s pointing to something deeper: Your feelings don’t come from people, events, or circumstances. They’re coming from the thoughts your mind is serving up about those things, moment to moment. It’s not: “They hurt me so I feel bad.” It’s: “I’m thinking painful thoughts about what they said, so I feel bad.” This isn’t about blame or toxic positivity. It’s about realizing your emotional world is self-generated, not injected into you by others. The good news? If it’s thought-created, you’re not at the mercy of people, situations, or your past to feel okay. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s not them.
It’s not the situation.
It’s not the world.
It’s your mind.
No one’s climbing inside your brain and pressing the ‘feel bad’ button. So where are your feelings really coming from? No one and nothing “makes” you feel a certain way. Not their words. Not their actions. Not even the chaos around you. Every word you say. Every reaction you have. Every feeling in your body… it’s not coming from them, that situation, or the world “out there.” It’s all coming from one place: thought in the moment. Yes, the outside world can trigger a thought. It can seem like it’s making you feel bad, sad, or mad. But it’s never the source. Your mind is creating your experience in real time. That’s why your mood can shift without anything external changing. One moment you’re tense, the next calm. Same world. Different thoughts. This isn’t about excusing bad behavior, you can’t control what others think, do, or believe. It’s not about pretending hard things aren’t real either. It’s about seeing where your experience is actually being created. Because when you do, you realize: You’re not at the mercy of people or circumstances. Your peace, clarity, and freedom don’t live out there. They’ve been inside you all along. Imagine living from that place, not just knowing it, but feeling it. What would change? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Someone Living Rent Free in your Head?
Picture this: Claire works in a busy office. She’s great at her job, respected by her boss, and her clients love her. Most days, she’s calm, focused, and even enjoys the chaos of her fast-paced environment. Except for Tuesdays. Every Tuesday there’s a big team meeting, and every Tuesday Claire finds herself dreading one thing: Angela. Angela, the coworker who sighs loudly when Claire speaks. The one who rolls her eyes, mutters under her breath, and seems to take a perverse joy in shutting down ideas. Claire swears Angela ruins her whole day. By noon, Claire’s stomach is in knots. She replays Angela’s dismissive tone in her mind over and over. She imagines what Angela must be thinking about her: “She probably thinks I’m an idiot. Maybe I am. Why do I even bother speaking up?” By 3 PM, Claire’s barely getting any work done. Her brain feels like it’s in a fog. Every little thing grates on her, her email inbox, her ringing phone, even her coworker laughing in the next cubicle. By the time she gets home, she’s exhausted and snappy with her partner. One day Claire’s friend Mia, someone with an uncanny ability to cut through drama, asks her a question. “Can Angela climb into your brain and press the ‘annoyed’ button?” Claire blinks. “What?” “You keep saying Angela ruins your day. I’m asking, does she have some kind of superpower to control your mood from across the table?” Claire laughs, but the question lingers. Later that night, lying awake, she replays the day. Was it really Angela that ruined her day… or her own mind spinning stories about Angela? The next Tuesday, Claire decides to try something. She notices her thoughts as Angela sighs and rolls her eyes “There she goes again. Typical. She hates me.” Then she catches herself. Wait. That’s a thought. Not a fact. Angela can’t press an annoying button in my brain! She lets the typical thoughts play out without managing, controlling them or getting triggered by them. She brings her focus back to her body. Back to how she wants to feel. Calm, present, curious, open, patient, light, peaceful, resilient, and at ease. This time, Angela’s behavior barely registers. Claire notices, sure, but there’s no emotional punch. No spiral. No ruined day. No residue. Angela didn’t change. She was still Angela. The only thing different was Claire’s relationship with her own thoughts. This is what most of us don’t see: It’s not people, situations, or circumstances creating our feelings, it’s the meaning our mind layers on top of them. Angela’s sigh wasn’t a dagger aimed at Claire. It was air moving through vocal cords. Claire’s brain gave it meaning, and that meaning created the feeling. On days her mind was busy and reactive, Angela’s behavior felt personal and unbearable. On days her mind was quiet and present, Angela’s behavior barely made a ripple. Same external reality. Different internal state. Totally different experience. We all have our “Angelas.” The driver who cuts us off. The partner who forgets to text back. The friend who cancels plans. The barista that messes up the order. It feels like they’re reaching into our emotional control panel and pushing buttons. But the truth? No one can climb inside your head and inject frustration, sadness, or anger. Your experience isn’t traveling from “out there” to “in here.” It’s being generated from the inside out, moment to moment, by thought. Thought isn’t always obvious. It doesn’t announce itself with a loudspeaker. It shows up as feelings, as physical tension, as a heavy fog that makes life feel hard. But feelings are like an emotional check-engine light. They’re pointing not to Angela, or your partner, or the traffic… but to your own state of mind. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The moment you see where your feelings are really coming from… everything changes
Life isn’t happening to you. Your thoughts about life are. Can you spot the difference? Pause for a second. Feel that? That wave of emotion, frustration, sadness, even excitement. It’s so easy to believe it’s coming from the world around you. From what your partner said. From the email your boss sent. From the bills, the scale, the silence after your text. The quiet truth: life is happening out there… and your experience of it is being created inside out in your mind. Your thoughts are painting a picture moment by moment, sometimes soft and light, sometimes dark and heavy. And because those thoughts feel real, it makes sense that we live as if we’re at the mercy of life’s events. What happens when you see it’s thought creating the feeling, not the event itself? You stop being a victim of circumstances. You stop needing the outside to change to find your peace. And you start noticing that your mind will settle all on its own, when you allow it. Try this: Next time a strong feeling rises, ask gently “What story is my mind telling right now? What if this is just a thought?” This is where freedom begins, not in controlling life, but in seeing through the illusion. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Are you seeing reality, or just the house of mirrors
Imagine walking into a carnival house of mirrors. Everywhere you turn, your reflection is stretched, twisted, upside down. The walls seem to bend. The floor feels slanted. Suddenly it feels like there’s no way out. Your heart races. You panic. It feels so real. Here’s the truth: the mirrors aren’t reality. They’re distortions, illusions, reflections of light bouncing off warped glass. The walls aren’t actually bending. The floor isn’t tilting. You don’t suddenly have stubby little legs, a gigantic forehead, and a torso that looks like it belongs in a funhouse documentary. You’re not actually an alien-human hybrid with one enormous hand and a head shaped like a lightbulb. The moment you realize this, everything changes. You don’t need to smash the mirrors. You don’t need to fight your way out. You simply stop believing the reflections are real. And in that instant, the door you thought was hidden appears, clear, obvious, waiting for you. Our mind works the same way. It creates stories, fears, judgments, and projections, like those distorted reflections. Sure, they feel real. They trigger your nervous system, tighten your chest, cloud your vision. But they’re not reality. They’re thought in the moment, passing through your consciousness like images on a screen. When you see this for yourself, in real time, in your own life is when you really understand how mind, thought, and consciousness work, it’s like stepping out of the house of mirrors. You realize: You were never trapped. You were never broken. The world didn’t need to change for you to feel safe and clear, you only needed to see through the illusion. That’s the power of insight. It doesn’t fix the mirrors. It shows you they were never the problem. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
What if you’re not stuck? You’re just lost in thought.
The feeling of being stuck, unhappy, or overwhelmed isn’t coming from life itself, it’s coming from the thinking about life. Life doesn’t happen “to” us emotionally. It unfolds outside, but our experience of it is created inside, moment to moment, by each thought. When thought changes (and it always does, naturally), our feelings shift too. Without anything external moving an inch. We don’t need to fix our life to feel better. We need to see where the feelings are really coming from. “It makes sense it feels that way.” Imagine you’re wearing a pair of hyper-realistic VR goggles. The program running is so advanced, it’s simulating a terrifying scene, you’re standing on the edge of a crumbling skyscraper during an earthquake. You look down. The ground is a dizzying drop hundreds of feet below. You hear glass shattering. Sirens blaring. You feel the floor tilt under your feet. Your heart races. Your palms sweat. Your chest tightens like a vice. Your nervous system is fully convinced: “I’m in danger.” Now pause. If someone standing next to you, not wearing the headset, asked, “What’s wrong? You’re safe. You’re standing in your living room!" You might say: “Safe? Can’t you see what’s happening?! The building’s collapsing!” To you, it feels absolutely real. But the moment you lift the goggles, even for a second, the earthquake vanishes. The sounds stop. The floor steadies. You’re standing in the quiet of your living room. Your body calms. Not because the room changed, it never did. Not because you fixed anything in the VR program, you didn’t. It’s because you woke up to the fact it was never real in the first place. Your imagination created the illusion. This is what happens with thought. We wear “thought goggles” all day long. When we’re stuck in anxious, angry, or resentful thinking, life feels like it’s crumbling. Our emotions spike. Our nervous system reacts as if the story we’re telling ourselves is reality. “He disrespected me.” “I’ll never get out of this job.” “My life is a mess.” It feels as true as that collapsing skyscraper. The game changer: Thoughts are just like VR goggles momentary projections. They’re immersive, convincing, but not the actual room you’re standing in. The moment your thinking shifts, even slightly, it’s like taking the goggles off. The intensity fades. Clarity returns. And nothing in the outside world had to change. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
You don’t have to change your life, just see it differently.
We’re funny creatures, aren’t we? We’re taught, programmed and conditioned to believe that if life doesn’t feel good, we need to do more. Fix more. Improve more. So we make lists. We chase weight loss goals. We update our wardrobes. We aim for promotions, new houses, new partners, more recognition. We collect gold stars in the form of likes, titles, degrees, and compliments. All with this quiet hope whispering underneath: “When I get there… then I’ll finally feel okay. Then I’ll feel enough. Then I’ll be happy.” No one ever teaches us… That feeling you’re seeking? It was never hiding in the number on the scale. Or in someone else’s validation. Or in a nicer kitchen backsplash. It’s been in you all along. You see, life isn’t lived out there. It’s felt in inside. In the quiet space of your own mind, where thought creates the movie of your reality, frame by frame, moment by moment. Change doesn’t mean rewriting every line of the story you’re living. It’s not about tearing out chapters, changing the characters, or forcing a perfect plot twist. It’s about realizing… You’re not the story. You’re the blank page it’s written on, vast, unmarked, untouched by the ink, no matter how dramatic or messy the words get. When you see that, you stop trying to edit every paragraph or control how the next scene unfolds. You see the story for what it is: thoughts flowing through, not who you are. The calm you were searching for in the perfect ending? It’s always been on the page. When you start to see differently, the weight on your shoulders lightens. That tight knot in your chest unravels. The urgency releases the grip over you. You stop trying to fix, manage, change, bend the plot, and instead, you let yourself flow with it. Suddenly, without needing the world to cooperate, peace shows up. Joy returns. Clarity dawns. Peace of mind surfaces. Not because you changed your life… But because you saw it with fresh eyes. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
They didn’t ruin your day.
Your thinking did.
You’re not actually feeling your boss. You’re not feeling traffic. You’re not even feeling your partner. You’re feeling your THINKING about them. It’s so subtle we don’t even notice… and no one teaches us how to. This is my gift. I help people see where they’re tangled in thought loops and old patterns. Then I walk with them out of the mental vortex, into clarity, peace, and a whole new way of seeing life. One moment, life feels heavy, messy, impossible, and in the next, without anything “out there” changing, a sense of calm washes over. Ever wondered WHY? It’s because the outside world isn’t what’s creating your experience. It never was. It’s the lens of thought, alive and moving, painting reality for you in every moment. Think about it. The same boss. The same email. The same partner. Some days it rolls off your back. Some days it sends you spiraling. What’s different? Not them. Not reality. Only the thought passing through your mind. Thought is like weather, ever-changing, never permanent. A storm might feel endless while you’re in it, but clear skies are always behind it. You don’t need to fight the storm. Just knowing it’s not the sky itself is enough. The more you see this for yourself, the lighter life feels. You don’t need new circumstances to feel peace. You don’t need people to behave differently to feel love. You don’t even need “positive thinking.” You only need to see that what you’re feeling is thought. See that.. I mean really see it, experience it, and peace starts bubbling up on its own. You’re free the second you notice. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
They didn’t steal your peace.
You handed it to them.
Ever had a day where one email ruined everything? You open a cc’d email at 6 AM, two whole hours before you’re clocked in. The email appears to be passive-aggressive. Dripping with undertones. Your stomach tightens. Shoulders tense. You replay it in your head all morning. By noon, you’re snappy with coworkers. By 3 PM, your energy’s gone. “See? My boss ruined my day.” Let’s look closer: At noon, was the email still there? Was it jumping out of your inbox and strangling you? No. The email was long gone, deleted maybe. What was there at noon was your thinking about the email. The replay. The rumination. The blame. The complaining. The “what’s right or wrong” in the situation. The imaginary comeback arguments. The “how dare they” loop. If the email itself was the villain, wouldn’t every single person on the CC feel the same way? Spoiler: they didn’t. Because they weren’t living in your thoughts about it. That’s how it works. We don’t feel people. We don’t feel emails. We don’t feel traffic, rude comments, or deadlines. We feel our thinking about these moment to moment. This isn’t about excusing bad behavior. It’s about seeing where your experience actually comes from. The second you see that, you stop handing over your emotional remote control to everyone and everything around you. Freedom doesn’t come from fixing or demanding your boss act and behave differently. It comes from realizing the boss isn’t holding the strings, you’re not a puppet. Your thoughts are creating your suffering. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
I spent years giving the world power over my peace…
I used to believe the way I felt was because of everything outside of me. I thought my emotions were tied to how others behaved, the text that was left on read with no response, the email that felt sharp or distant, the phone call that never came. I blamed the weather for my mood, the gray skies for my heaviness or the sunshine for my sudden burst of energy. I blamed my job for my stress. My family for my frustration. My relationships for my sadness. Road construction for ruining my day. Even a passing rude comment from a stranger had the power to steal my peace. It felt like I was walking through life on a leash, pulled and yanked in every direction by the world around me. I mean, how could I not believe that? I could justify and give loads of evidence for how it “made me feel.” My mood seemed to rise and fall with the people, places, and situations around me. Of course I thought the outside world was in charge, it looked that way my whole life. It’s reinforced in the movies, tv and conversations every day. And honestly? It makes sense. It was the only way I knew to explain why life felt so unpredictable, like peace was always just one perfect set of circumstances away. My inner state felt like a mirror of whatever was happening "out there." If things were calm, I felt calm. If people were kind, I felt important. If life was going my way, I felt okay. If I was appreciated, I felt safe. If I was acknowledged, I felt seen. The second something shifted, the plans fell through, the tone of someone’s voice changed, or the world threw another curveball, I was knocked off center. I thought this was just how life worked. React. Respond. Hope for the best. But I was wrong. The truth is, we are always living in an inside-out experience, NOT outside-in. Our feelings don’t come from the unanswered text, the cold email, the missed phone call. They don’t come from what our partner did or didn’t say, from our boss’s bad mood, from the traffic jam on the way home, or even from the shoes the dog chewed on. Our feelings come from thought. From the story our mind spins in every single moment about what’s happening. Two people can hear the same words, live in the same house, work the same job, or walk through the same storm, and yet feel completely different. Why? Because it’s not people, places, things, situations, or circumstances that create our emotional reality, it’s the meaning, the interpretation, and the personalization the mind assigns to them. This realization (not just in a logical way, a visceral way) was both unsettling and freeing. Unsettling because it stripped away my excuses. I could no longer pin my peace, my happiness, or my clarity on anything or anyone outside of me. No more blaming. No more waiting. No more giving the world so much power over my internal state. Freeing because it meant I didn’t have to wait for the world to behave, for people to change, or for circumstances to align perfectly before I could feel okay. Peace was already here. Joy was already possible. Clarity was already within reach. Happiness is indeed something I can create and foster at any moment, and no one can take that from me. Because it’s an inside job. It always has been. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
What if love isn’t fixing, advising, or saving?
What if love is quiet, soft, and strong enough to let them feel? Sarah loved her people fiercely, her husband, her teenage daughter, even her best friend who called every week with some kind of drama. But somewhere along the line, “love” started to feel like exhaustion. Every sigh from her husband made her ask, “What’s wrong?” Every slammed door from her daughter sent her into problem-solving mode. Every long text from her friend turned into an unsolicited advice column. Sarah thought she was helping. She thought she was holding everything together. But truthfully? She was tired. Tired of carrying the emotional weight of everyone she cared about. One Thursday afternoon, Sarah went out for a walk. Earbuds in, hoodie pulled tight, trying to drown out her own swirling thoughts with a podcast. She half-listened until the host said something that stopped her mid-step: “People don’t always need fixing. They need space to feel, and someone safe enough to feel it with.” It hit her like a brick. She laughed out loud, partly because it stung. “Oh crap… I do that. I treat my family like they’re broken machines. And I’m the repair technician on call 24/7.” That night, she tried something radical. She didn’t ask her husband why he was quiet. She didn’t tell her daughter to “just talk about it” after school. She didn’t reply to her friend’s dramatic text with a 500-word pep talk. She just… stopped. Stopped over-listening. Stopped trying to rescue them. Stopped managing everyone's feelings. Stopped over performing and fixing. Stopped playing emotional air traffic control for everyone’s storms. And something surprising happened. Her husband spoke up later that evening: "You’ve been really chill today. It’s nice." Her daughter came and plopped on her bed: "Mom… you awake?" Her friend sent a follow-up text: "Thanks for letting me vent. I feel lighter now." Here’s what Sarah saw: The people she loved weren’t exhausting her. She realized her mind had been running a constant narrative: “It’s my job and responsibility to manage everyone and if everyone is happy I will be happy once and for all...” After years of trying to do this it not only didn’t work it was exhausting. And the second she stopped believing these thoughts… her presence softened. The tension in her home wasn’t coming from her husband’s silence, her daughter’s door slams, or her friend’s drama. It was coming from the way her mind interpreted those things. When her thinking settled, so did her energy. And when her energy settled, the people around her felt it too. This is the quiet power of seeing thought for what it really is. You don’t have to fix, rescue, or manage the people you love. You don’t even have to change them. The only thing that needs to change is the way you’re holding their emotions in your own mind. When your mind clears, your presence does too. And often, that’s all they needed. It’s never really about them. It’s about how our urgent thoughts about their moods pull us out of presence. The moment we drop the thought, “They shouldn’t feel this way”, we show up differently, calmer, softer, more magnetic. And that’s the energy that changes everything. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The noise isn’t the problem. The story in your head is.
Funny how two people can sit in the exact same place, and have completely different experiences. Seeing this will prove that the thoughts we think and believe at any moment are what bring flavor to every situation and how it’s an illusion. It’s never really about the noise. Or the coffee. Or the baby crying at the next table. Your feelings don’t come from the café. They come from the commentary running in your mind while you’re in the café. Picture this: Two people sit side by side in a bustling coffee shop. The espresso machine hisses and clanks. Chatter hums like a low-frequency buzz. A baby cries in staccato bursts at the next table. Everyone’s footsteps echo on the old hardwood floors. Baristas call out orders over the coffee bar. One person tenses. Their jaw tightens. “Ugh. It’s so loud in here. I can’t think straight. Why did I even bother coming?” The other sips their latte, smiling faintly. “This place feels so alive. I love the energy—the noise is almost… comforting.” Same café. Same noise. Same moment. Two completely different realities. It wasn’t the café creating their emotions. It wasn’t the noise or the crying baby. It was the meaning their minds attached to it. Here’s the thing: Our minds are like little story factories. Endlessly narrating. Labeling. Judging. Personalizing, deciding what everything means. And most of the time? We don’t even notice it happening. We think we’re reacting to the world. The traffic jam. The unread text. The messy house. The tone in someone’s voice. We’re really reacting to the thoughts we’re believing about the world. Not the crying baby. Not the loud barista. Not even the bad Wi-Fi. Just the story we’re spinning in real time. What if the coffee shop was just… a coffee shop? What if nothing outside you had to change for you to feel okay? What if peace wasn’t something to find, but something you uncover when the stories quiet down? Here’s the kicker: This isn’t just about cafés. The “café” could be anything. Your partner’s silence. Your boss’s email. Your child’s messy room. Your bank account. Your mother-in law. Same circumstances. Different thoughts. Completely different experiences. So the real question is: What’s your mind narrating right now? What’s something in your life that might not be “the café”… but the story you’re telling about it? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s never about the rain
Two people sit on the same park bench. The clouds open up. Raindrops fall on their jackets. One person thinks: “Ugh. This ruins my day. Why me? Everything always goes wrong.” The other smiles and thinks: “This is refreshing. I love the smell of rain.” Same rain. Same bench. Same moment. Yet their experiences couldn’t be more different. It wasn’t the rain that created their feelings. It was the thought each one carried about the rain. Our minds are like little story machines, constantly narrating, labeling, and deciding what everything means. What if you didn’t take every story so seriously? What if rain was just… rain? The truth is, this isn’t just about rain. It’s about anything you’re experiencing right now. The rain could be anything, the unanswered text, the hard day at work, the moment you feel unseen. Same moment, different story, different experience. QUESTION: What’s something in your life right now that might not be “the rain”… but the story you’re telling about it? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
What if the silence isn’t the problem?
A father started noticing changes in his teenage son. The boy spent more time in his room, headphones on, barely offering more than a grunt when spoken to. The father’s mind went into overdrive: “Is he depressed? On drugs? Did I fail as a parent?” His fear showed up as hovering. He kept knocking on the door, asking questions, trying to pull his son out of his shell. He even started researching what this possibly could mean online late at night, desperate for answers. But nothing changed. In fact, the more he tried to “fix it,” the more distant his son seemed to grow. Then one day while walking the dog he had a quiet thought “What if I’m not scared for him… what if I am just scare of what I might be thinking?” That landed like a brick. He realized his feelings, panic, fear, urgency, weren’t actually coming from his son’s behavior. They were coming from the anxious stories he was telling himself about what it all might mean. “What if my son is struggling and I’m missing it?” “What if I’m a terrible father?” “What if I don’t fix this in time?” He saw it clearly: his mind was creating a future that didn’t exist. So he took a deep breath. And for the first time in weeks, he let himself just… settle, soften, calm, reset… Safety and patience rose. He stopped hovering. Stopped probing. Stopped analyzing. Stopped trying to control the narrative. Stopped personalizing the situation. Stopped trying to manage the silence. Two days later, his son wandered into the kitchen. He sat down at the table, pulled out his earbuds, and said quietly: “Dad… can I talk to you?” The Deeper Truth The father’s panic wasn’t caused by his son’s withdrawal. It was fueled by his own insecure thinking. He believed: “This means I’m a bad parent.” “Something is deeply wrong with my child.” Those thoughts triggered fear, which then showed up as over-involvement and anxious fixing. When he recognized his feelings as a reflection of thought, not of reality, his mind naturally settled. And from that calmer place, he didn’t feel the need to fix anything. Safety and trust opened up in their dynamic. This is what happens when we stop confusing our thoughts for the truth. This illustrates: -Experience flows from thought, not circumstances. -A clear mind leads to wiser, more loving responses. You don’t need to fix your thinking, just see it for what it is, and it quiets on its own. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When a coffee spill feels like proof you’re failing…
It started with something so small. Sarah’s coffee mug tipped over as she reached for her phone, sending a wave of dark liquid across the counter. She froze. Her chest tightened. Her cheeks flushed hot. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. “This is it,” her mind whispered. “Proof. I can’t even keep a cup of coffee upright. I’m a mess. I’m failing at life.” And like a match to dry leaves, her thoughts ignited into a wildfire. She replayed every mistake from the past week, every task left unfinished, every moment she felt like she’d fallen short. The spilled coffee became the symbol of it all, chaos, failure, and her inability to hold it together. Then… she paused. Somewhere in the swirl of panic, she caught a glimpse of something quieter. “Wait,” she thought. “Is it really the coffee? Or is it what I’m telling myself about the coffee?” The question landed like a stone in a still pond. The ripples spread. Slowly, she began to notice how her meltdown wasn’t caused by the mess on the counter, it was caused by the meaning she had layered onto it. “This isn’t about coffee. This is about believing the thought that I’m not enough.” And just like that, the storm began to pass. Her body softened. Her heart beat slowed. Her breath steadied. The day didn’t feel so heavy anymore. The coffee was just coffee again. A little coffee to clean up, not a verdict on her worth or her life. Sarah smiled to herself through the tears. She saw something life-changing in that moment: feelings don’t come from events. Feelings come from the thoughts we entertain. And understand where feelings really come from, and when we see thoughts for what they are(with curiosity), passing energy, not hard facts or truth even, they pass and new thoughts arise. QUESTION: When was the last time a small event felt like proof of something bigger about you? What story were you believing? Sarah’s moment isn’t about the coffee at all. It’s about the inside-out nature of life. Events, spilled coffee, traffic jams, sharp words, are neutral until we assign them meaning. It’s our thinking about those events that creates our emotional experience, not the events themselves. Thought is like a projector shining onto a blank screen. Whatever’s on the filmstrip (good, bad, catastrophic) is what we’ll “see” and feel. The coffee wasn’t proof Sarah was failing. Her momentary thoughts were projecting a film of “I’m a failure.” And when she saw that? The whole movie lost its power. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Responsibility Is Power
Most of us were taught responsibility like it was a weight to carry, an endless to-do list of what we “should” be doing for everyone else. No wonder it feels heavy. No wonder we push back or overdo it until we’re exhausted. Real responsibility? It’s not about controlling other people or holding the world together. It’s about owning one thing fully: your response. Picture this: You’re holding a steering wheel. That’s your thoughts, feelings, and choices. The road is life, sometimes smooth, sometimes full of potholes and other drivers cutting you off. You can’t control the road. Or the weather. Or the other drivers. You can keep your hands on the wheel. You decide if you brake, accelerate, or take a turn. This is the quiet, fierce kind of power no one can take from you. You’re no longer stuck reacting out of old wounds or habits. You begin to see: Every moment, your mind is offering you fresh thoughts if you’re open, like suggestions for new directions on the GPS. And your experience isn’t determined by what’s happening “out there on the road”, the traffic, the weather, the detours, but by how you choose to steer, how you respond to what shows up. That’s where your real power lives. It’s not in controlling the road. It’s in driving your own car with clarity, presence, and trust. And the beauty? Once you realize you’re not in charge of fixing others or preventing their missteps, your energy shifts. You stop policing the world and start leading yourself. That’s when relationships transform, not because others change, but because you’re showing up differently. You’re trusting they will learn, evolve, overcome, adapt and solve their problems, you’ll just hold space for them to create their own solutions. QUESTION: How would it feel to drop the belief that you must manage others’ emotions or choices? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Lead From Within
You don’t need outside permission to embody truth and courage. Years ago, I coached someone who always felt like the supporting role in their own life. They waited. Waited to be validated. Waited to be chosen. Waited to be seen before they let themselves rise. Waited to be seen. Waited to be valued. Waited to feel good enough. “If someone could just see how much I care… maybe then I’d feel confident enough to speak up.” Sound familiar? Many of us were raised to believe leadership is something granted, a title, a role, an external stamp of approval. Real leadership? It doesn't begin when others recognize you. It begins the moment you recognize yourself. A metaphor: Imagine a lighthouse waiting for the boats to show up before it turns its light on. Ridiculous, right? Its job is to be the light. To stand steady in storms. To shine, even if no one’s watching. That’s what self-leadership is. It’s not about proving yourself. It’s about guiding from your own inner wisdom, moment by moment. Your experience is created from within, not from circumstance. The clarity, confidence, and courage you seek are already there, beneath the noise of insecure thinking. You're not missing anything. You’ve just been listening to the static instead of the signal. The deeper truth: Most people don’t lack strength. They just haven’t been taught to trust it. QUESTION: What would change in your life if you did what your gut, heart, soul, your inner wisdom has been whispering to you all these years? Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every relationship in your life. When you stop outsourcing your power, your entire reality recalibrates. You communicate with more clarity. You set boundaries with less guilt. You move through life feeling grounded instead of grasping. So no, leadership isn’t about being loud. It’s about being clear. Rooted. Grounded. Secure. Aligned. You don’t need outside permission to embody truth and courage. You only need a moment of remembering: You are the light. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Don’t anchor your identity to a passing storm
The Weather Changes. So Will Your Mind. Have you ever been caught in a sudden downpour without an umbrella? One minute the sky is blue, the next it’s dark and wild. Rain lashes down, soaking you, and in the moment, it feels like this is your new reality. Cold. Wet. Uncomfortable. Like this is how the whole day’s going to feel now. But an hour later? The clouds part. The sun peeks through. The world dries off. And you’re left standing there, wondering why it felt so all-consuming just moments ago. That’s how thought works. That’s how your mind works. Your experience is always being created from the inside out. Not by the situation. Not by the people. Not by your past. Not by the environment. Not by things. But by the thoughts moving through you in this moment. And just like the weather, those thoughts are always shifting. They feel real. They seem permanent. But they’re not. You are not your thoughts. You are the sky they move through. The problem isn’t that we feel sad, anxious, insecure, discouraged. The problem is when we personalize thought and believe those temporary feelings say something true about who we are, what we’re capable of, or what our future holds. When you're in the thick of emotional fog, it’s easy to anchor your identity to it. To think: “I’m not motivated.” “I’ll always feel like this.” “I’m broken.” “This relationship is doomed.” “This is just who I am.” What if that’s not the truth? What if it’s just a mental storm passing through? Here’s a little story: A client once told me she was “emotionally broken.” She had a history of people-pleasing, felt stuck in a cycle of guilt and resentment, and thought she’d never be able to trust her own voice. We didn’t try to fix her.(No one is broken) We explored how her experience was coming from thought in the moment. We gently looked at how much sense it made that she felt overwhelmed, because the thoughts she was believing were swirling like a thunderstorm. She didn’t need to change the weather. She needed to stop thinking she was the storm. And when that clicked? She cried. Not out of sadness, but relief. Relief that she wasn’t broken. Relief that she didn’t have to earn her worth or solve every problem in her past to feel okay. Relief that she could let the storm pass. And it did. QUESTION: What storm have you been confusing for your identity? You don’t have to be fearless. You don’t need to figure it all out right now. You just need to know that the weather will shift. And so will your state of mind. You are not stuck. You are not broken. You’re simply in a moment. Let it pass. Then reach for what’s true beneath it. That’s where real change begins. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Most arguments aren’t about what was said
Most arguments are about what wasn’t understood. Let’s talk about that. Picture this: You’re having a conversation with someone you care about. Maybe it’s your partner. A colleague. A friend. You say something with one intention, maybe to connect, or express a need, but what they hear feels like an attack. Suddenly, you’re both defensive. Hurt. Misunderstood. And you’re thinking, “That’s not what I meant at all.” Sound familiar? Here’s the truth most of us were never taught: We don’t experience other people. We experience our thinking about them. Thought. Consciousness. Mind. We live in a thought-created reality. We’re not reacting to each other. We’re reacting to what we believe is happening. And when we’re caught up in a whirlwind of assumptions, we stop listening. We hear tone, not truth. We defend, rather than understand. We prepare our comeback instead of getting curious. Let me offer a metaphor: Imagine two radios playing in a room. One’s on a jazz station, the other’s on heavy metal. They’re both making noise, but they’re not tuned in to the same frequency. That’s how most of us communicate when we’re upset. We’re talking, yes. But we’re tuned to two completely different emotional stations. One is tuned into heavy metal the other is tuned into elevator music No wonder communication lands sometimes and other times it misses. So what if communication wasn’t just about words? What if it was about presence? About slowing down enough to feel what’s behind the words, both yours and theirs? Because emotional leadership doesn’t mean you always get it “right.” It means you lead with care. You speak honestly and kindly. You ask, instead of assume. You take responsibility for how you show up. You stop trying to win the argument and start trying to win the connection. QUESTION: When was the last time I felt misunderstood, what was I really needing to occur in that moment? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Choosing Yourself Isn’t Abandoning Others
Emotional maturity honors both self and connection. Story: Imagine a tightrope walker. She's trained for years to master balance, precision, and grace. But what most don’t realize is, her first step isn’t on the rope. It’s the moment she learns to trust herself. That’s what choosing yourself feels like. It’s not about walking away. It’s about walking with clarity. It’s about steadying your own steps, so you don’t fall trying to carry someone else. Still, so many of us were taught that putting ourselves first is selfish. That if we say “no” or take space or change our mind, we’re letting people down. Here’s the truth: abandoning yourself to keep someone else comfortable is a form of abandonment, just in reverse. "Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm" You are a relationship, too with yourself and this life. And like any healthy relationship, the one you have with yourself requires listening, honesty, and care. We live in a thought-created experience. If you're walking around thinking, “Choosing me is hurting them,” you’re not responding to the truth, you're reacting to a story your mind made up. And that story can shift the moment you see it's just a thought, not a fact. QUESTION: What if your inner peace doesn’t compete with connection, but strengthens it? In Your Relationship With Yourself It’s being willing to be misunderstood for the sake of being deeply aligned. It’s remembering that you are not a bad person for having needs. In Your Relationship With Life Life doesn’t reward self-sacrifice; it responds to self-leadership. The more you tune into your wisdom, the more life meets you with alignment. In Your Relationship With Others People who love the version of you that overperforms may feel unsettled when you stop, and that’s ok. Emotional maturity learns to love without losing itself. You’re not here to twist yourself into someone else's comfort zone. You’re here to expand into your own. Here’s something to reflect on: What if honoring yourself is what allows you to show up more lovingly for others? What if setting boundaries isn’t distance, it’s direction? What if your inner peace doesn’t compete with connection, but strengthens it? You’re allowed to belong to yourself and love others well. That’s not abandoning anyone, it’s leading with truth. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Control Is a Coping Mechanism
Behind control is often fear. Name it. Befriend it. Think about it: control shows up like an umbrella on a sunny day. You’re holding it, but it’s not really protecting you, it’s just your way of saying, “I’m prepared for something bad to happen.” Control is that umbrella. It’s a coping mechanism that shields you from feeling vulnerable, but in reality, it keeps you from living freely. Control convinces us that if we can just manage everything, our emotions, our relationships, our environment, we can avoid the discomfort and uncertainty that life brings. It’s a natural reflex, but the tighter we grip, the more we miss the beauty of letting go. Most people don’t realize how subtly control shows up. Maybe it’s planning every detail of a trip, micromanaging your partner’s actions, or checking emails every few minutes to make sure everything is in order. These are all forms of control, and often, we don’t even notice it happening. At the root of control is fear: fear of rejection, failure, being judged, or not being enough. And when fear is in the driver’s seat, we miss the growth that comes from embracing uncertainty. What if, instead of controlling, we leaned into the unknown with trust? What if we let go of that umbrella, knowing we can handle whatever life throws our way? Befriending control means acknowledging it without judgment. It’s about noticing when thoughts arise, and choosing a thought, and actions that indicate you trust yourself and that you will manage and be ok no matter what. It’s telling your brain and nervous system you are safe, even when things feel out of your control. When we release the need to manage every detail, we open up space for new insights and a deeper connection with ourselves. QUESTION: How might your relationships shift if you trusted more in the flow of life and allowed space for uncertainty and vulnerability? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Emotional Leadership
We all carry stories, stories we've picked up over the years, some from our past, others from our present. These stories shape how we see the world and how we show up in it. But here's the catch: these stories? They aren't your truth. They're just thoughts. And thoughts are fleeting. They come and go. They don't define you. When we hold onto those old stories, about ourselves, about life, about others, we start to believe that they are who we are. But that's not the case. When we react from those stories, we create barriers for ourselves. We push people away, we doubt our worth, and we might even sabotage our own success. We make life harder than it needs to be. The truth is: You are not your thoughts. What you think is just that, thoughts. Passing ideas that come and go. They only have power if you believe them and act on them. When you let them pass without attaching meaning or reaction, they lose their grip on you. And here's the empowering part: you can change your narrative. The stories you're holding onto don’t have to be your story anymore. You can rewrite them. You can choose new, empowering thoughts that align with the life you want to create, one full of positivity, abundance, and joy. This is what emotional leadership is all about: aligning your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions with your true values, your goals, and your heart’s desires. Here’s how to practice emotional leadership: Practice mindfulness: Start noticing your thoughts and emotions, without judgment. The key is being aware of when those old stories pop up, and gently redirecting yourself to the present moment. Challenge your beliefs: Ask yourself: “Is this story serving me? Is it helping me move forward, or is it keeping me stuck?” If it's not helping, it’s time to let it go. You have the power to choose a different narrative. Visualize your ideal life: Take some time to imagine the life you truly want to live. Feel the emotions of that reality. The more you connect with this vision, the more you'll begin to see ways to bring it to life. Gratitude: What are you grateful for today? Focusing on what’s good in your life shifts your energy and attracts more positivity into your experience. Remember, emotional leadership is a practice. It's not something you do once and you're done, it’s ongoing. Like learning a new language, you have to stick with it, practice it, and make it a part of who you are. And just like any new skill, you’ll get better with time, and the rewards will come. We all carry these stories that influence how we show up in relationships and in life. But what if we could start seeing them as just that, stories? Imagine how freeing it would feel to put down that heavy backpack of beliefs, to stop letting those old stories control you. QUESTION: What would be possible for you if you let go of judgment and approached life with curiosity? What might shift if you viewed each moment as a chance to learn, rather than a chance to prove yourself right or wrong? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Who Would You Be Without That Story?
We don’t see the world as it is, we see it through our stories. Picture this: You’re walking through your day, holding a big, heavy backpack. It’s packed with rocks. Every rock is a story you’ve been carrying: “I’m not good enough,” “I’ll never be happy,” “I always mess things up. I have to be the fixer, no one else will do it.” The more stories collected, the heavier it feels. The weight of these stories gets pressed harder onto your shoulders, and before you know it, you’re carrying them around all day, every day. The thing is, the more you carry these rocks, the more they start to feel like they are you. You start to believe that they’re just a part of your identity. It becomes so natural that you can’t imagine life without them. You might even think, “Well, if I put these down, I’d lose myself. These rocks are all I know.” Here’s the catch: those rocks aren’t who you are. They’re just stories. Stories you’ve collected along the way. Stories that other people told you, stories that you believed for one reason or another. Stories that served you at some earlier point in your life and your brilliant mind saw it as a means to keep you safe. The truth is, they aren’t you—they’re just thoughts that got way too much space in your head. Now imagine this: what if you could just put that backpack down? What if you realized that it’s not your job to carry these heavy stories around with you? What if those rocks are the very thing that’s zapping your energy, slowing you down, and making your day harder than it needs to be? What would your life look like if you let go of that weight? If you didn’t have to carry those burdens anymore? How much lighter and freer could you feel? More importantly, how much energy would you have to live the life you actually want? The power isn’t in holding on to those stories. It’s in recognizing that you don’t have to carry them. You can choose to put the backpack down and walk through life with a lighter heart, without letting those stories rule your experience. It’s time to take the weight off. QUESTION: If you could drop just one of those heavy stories today, which one would it be, and what would it feel like to take your first step toward freedom from it? How would your life shift if you no longer identified with that burden? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Not Everything Deserves a Reaction
Imagine you're sitting on a calm lake, the sun just starting to set. The water is still, smooth as glass. Now, picture someone tossing a stone into the water. It creates ripples, doesn’t it? Those ripples spread outward, disrupting the stillness. In life, those stones are the things that trigger us, someone’s harsh words, a sudden stressful situation, an unexpected change. The natural instinct is to react, like those ripples, to fight the disruption. Here's the secret: not everything deserves a reaction. The Gap Between Stimulus and Response The space between what happens to us and how we respond is powerful. It’s in this gap that we find the freedom to choose how we engage with the world. It's where peace lives. The truth is, our reactions are often based on old stories, assumptions, or automatic responses. When something triggers us, it’s easy to feel like we have to react immediately. Peace? Peace doesn’t rush. It pauses. It takes a breath. Think of your mind as a quiet pond. A trigger is the stone thrown into the water. The waves are your immediate emotions, your frustration, your hurt, your anger. The stillness? The stillness is always there, waiting. It's just a matter of whether you choose to stay with it, or let the ripples dictate your next move. Example 1: The Morning Email from Your Boss Imagine waking up, grabbing your coffee, and opening your inbox to find an email from your boss. It’s got that “urgent” subject line, and as you read it, you feel a wave of frustration rise, something is expected of you, and the tone seems a little sharp. Your first instinct? To fire back a response with a mix of frustration and defensiveness. New response: Instead of replying in the heat of the moment, take a pause. Breathe. This gives you space to decide if this email needs a response right now or if you can wait for a moment when you’re more centered and clear-headed. When you choose to take a breath before replying, you step out of the ripples and into the stillness of your mind, where you can respond more thoughtfully. Example 2: The Unsolicited Advice from a Friend Ever had a well-meaning friend give you unsolicited advice about your relationship or career? Their words hit you wrong, and immediately, your inner reaction is to push back or justify your choices. You’re about to tell them why their advice is not needed. But does it really require that reaction? New response: That moment between the advice being given and your response is where you have the power to choose. Instead of snapping back, take a moment to pause. You might choose to let the comment slide off you or respond calmly without getting defensive. That pause allows you to stay grounded and in control of your emotions, without letting someone else’s words create unnecessary ripples in your peace. Example 3: The Traffic Jam That Makes You Late You’re already running behind, and the universe decides to throw a traffic jam your way. Cars are at a standstill, your mind races with thoughts of being late, and you feel your stress levels rise. Your first impulse might be to get frustrated or start imagining worst-case scenarios about what’ll happen if you’re late. New response: Instead of letting the traffic trigger your stress, you have the choice to pause. A deep breath in the moment gives you space to reflect. What good does reacting with frustration do? Taking that pause allows you to shift your focus from what’s out of your control (the traffic) to what’s in your control (your peace of mind). In that moment of stillness, you allow yourself to choose a calm response, accepting the delay without letting it take over your emotional state. Bonus Insight: Each time you pause instead of reacting, you strengthen your ability to stay calm. It’s like practicing a muscle, the more you do it, the less you’re triggered by the little things. And soon, your mind will become more peaceful, even in the midst of life’s stones. QUESTION: When you look back at past emotional reactions, what do you think you could’ve done differently in that moment? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Triggers Aren’t Proof, They’re Invitations
Think of a trigger like a loud obnoxious fire alarm going off. At first, it’s loud, jarring, and chaotic. You might feel an immediate rush of stress, your heart racing, or a wave of frustration. It’s easy to assume that the noise is the problem. Here’s the twist: the alarm isn’t the issue; it's simply showing you that there’s something deeper going on beneath the surface. Now, imagine you’re in your home and the fire alarm goes off. You might feel the urge to scramble and try to stop the noise immediately. But what if, instead of just trying to shut the alarm off, you paused and asked yourself, “Why is the alarm going off?” It’s not just noise, it’s alerting you to something you might have missed, a deeper cause that requires your attention. Triggers work the same way. They don’t create your feelings, they expose what’s already inside of you, the thoughts and beliefs keeping that nervous system reaction. When something or someone sets you off, it’s not about what they did, it’s an invitation to ask, "Why is this triggering me? What’s beneath the surface? How can I heal this and be untriggerable?” QUESTION: What if every trigger you experienced was an opportunity to discover what’s really going on inside of you, to heal, and to set yourself free? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com P.S. change your smoke alarm batteries.
Resentment Is Unspoken Need
What you stew on often reveals what you haven’t spoken aloud. Storytime: Think of resentment like a tea kettle on a stove. You’re the kettle. Every “yes” when you meant “no,” every moment you felt overlooked, every time you swallowed your truth, it adds heat. You try to ignore it. Maybe you even move the kettle to the back burner. But eventually... whistle. Loud and sharp. That’s the snap. The outburst. The cold shoulder. The exhaustion. Not because you're broken. Because you’re boiling. And here’s the twist, most of the time, the other person doesn’t even know the stove is on. Resentment doesn’t come from them. It comes from a thought you’ve believed. A thought you’ve rehearsed on repeat. A thought you didn’t check in on before you ran with it. The more you believe that thought without question, “They don’t care”, “They always take from me”, “If I say something, I’ll be a burden”, the more real it feels. But feelings follow thought, not truth. And when we see that, we realize: We don’t need others to change for us to feel free. We need to check in with the story we’re telling and the needs we’re denying. Resentment isn’t who you are. It’s what you feel when your soul’s been muted. QUESTION: Who would you be without the story that they should already know? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Text Sarah Didn’t Send
Sarah felt the distance between her and John. His tone was shorter. His replies took longer. The warmth between them felt... faded. Old Sarah would’ve gone into overdrive, sending follow-up messages, checking in multiple times, over-explaining herself, maybe even planning something spontaneous to win back his attention. It would’ve looked like effort, but it was fear in disguise. Fear of being forgotten. Fear of not mattering. This time, she caught herself. Instead of reacting, she sat with the discomfort. She let her thoughts settle instead of spiraling. She reminded herself that distance isn’t always rejection, it’s just distance. Then she sent: “Hey, I’m feeling a bit disconnected. No pressure, just wanted to say I miss us. Let me know when you’ve got space.” That was her self-leadership. Her vulnerability. Not needy, not clingy, not grabby, not performative, just honest and grounded. She didn’t try to fix or control the moment. She chose to show up fully, without giving herself away. The response? Not immediate, not dramatic, but real. A deeper, honest conversation that met her right where she was. No game-playing. No emotional chase. Just two people re-finding each other, because one of them chose courage over control. QUESTION: What’s something you wish your partner truly understood about you, but you haven’t said out loud? Why not? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Journal on the Bench
Imagine walking through a quiet park at the edge of dusk. Golden light filters through the trees, birds are trading secrets overhead, and the wind carries the scent of change. You notice something resting on a bench, a weathered journal with its leather cover worn from use and time. Out of curiosity, you sit and begin to flip through its pages. The writing is raw and unfiltered. The first half of the journal is filled with heartbreak, mistakes, missed chances, and moments that nearly broke the person writing them. Some pages are smudged, as if the ink bled from old tears. Others are wrinkled like they’ve been rewritten a dozen times, searching for a better ending. There are lines crossed out, words circled in anger, and questions left unanswered. The story reads like someone who was trying hard to survive their life rather than live it. The name on the first page is Sarah. Then something shifts. You turn another page and find... nothing. The second half of the journal is completely blank. Empty pages stretch forward like open sky. Resting in the middle seam is a single fountain pen. In that moment, it becomes clear, Sarah’s story isn’t over. Not even close. She just hasn’t written the rest yet. So you imagine her picking up the pen, taking a deep breath, and writing at the top of the next page: “Chapter Eleven: Today I Choose.” She may not erase the past, but she’s no longer letting it choose for her. Now, here’s the truth hiding in plain sight: We are all Sarah. Your earlier chapters may hold chaos, regret, or pain, but they don’t get the final say. They are part of your story, not the whole of it. The pen, which represents your power to choose fresh thought in each moment, is still in your hand. And as long as you remember that, your next chapter can begin differently than the last ended. QUESTION: If today was your blank page, what title would you give the next chapter of your life? (And what’s one sentence you’d write to begin it?) Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When You're Misunderstood
What If It’s Not Rejection, But Redirection Back to You? Ever tried explaining how you feel, only to be met with blank stares, silence… or worse, defensiveness? It can sting, deep. Because being misunderstood, especially by someone you love or respect, feels like being left out in the cold with your heart still wide open. You might think: They don’t get me. Or maybe I don’t even make sense. Or the deepest cut of all: Maybe I’m too much. Let me tell you a story. A client of mine, let’s call her “Sarah”, was often told she was “too emotional.” Any time she tried to open up about what hurt, she was met with logic, solutions, or shutdown. She felt unseen. Dismissed. Misread. Misunderstood. Like her truth was too messy for anyone to hold. At first, she tried to explain herself louder. Then softer. Then… not at all. Until one day she asked herself: “Do I even understand what I’m feeling?” Here’s the thing we uncovered together: She wasn’t wrong for feeling. All feelings are valid, rooted in what a person thinks and believes in the moment with what emotional intelligence they have at the time. At this time Sarah hadn’t fully understood her own emotional landscape yet, so how could anyone else? The mental and emotional pain of being misunderstood doesn’t come from the other person’s words or lack of empathy. It comes from thoughts we believe in the moment, thoughts like “this proves I’m not safe here,” or “I must be broken” “I am different and no one understands.” We see that our thoughts are like weather passing through, not truth, just temporary mental clouds, we begin to listen deeper. First to ourselves. Then, to others. And here’s the twist: Once Sarah learned how to meet herself in those moments of misunderstanding, with self-compassion, not self-abandonment, her relationships changed. Not because she forced others to understand her… Because she finally understood herself. Being misunderstood isn’t the end of connection. It’s the beginning of a more honest one, if you’re brave enough to turn inward first. QUESTION: What story do you tell yourself when someone doesn't get you? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Not Being Okay Is Okay
Not Being Okay Is Okay It is not about suppressing. It is about anchoring. 𝗔 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 “Sarah” is a new manager juggling deadlines, a toddler, and a dad in the hospital. One Thursday she hides in her car during lunch, tears streaming down. In that tiny metal shelter she notices an odd thing: the steering wheel is steady in her hands even while her thoughts toss her around. Holding that wheel she realizes she can feel the storm and stay grounded. The car is still, traffic hums by, and her breath keeps rising and falling. Nothing outside has changed, yet inside she is no longer fighting the waves; she has dropped an anchor. 𝗠𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗽𝗵𝗼𝗿 Imagine the mind as an ocean. Thoughts whip up white-caps, emotions roar like wind, and the deeper water stays calm. When we think the surface is all that exists, any wave looks life-threatening. Anchor your attention a few feet below. The depth was always there, waiting for you to notice. 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱 – bringing fresh perspectives the moment we create space. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 – awareness lets us feel the full spectrum without getting glued to any single feeling. 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 – every feeling rides on a thought, so an upset state is not a life sentence. It is temporary mental weather. When you see experience this way, “not being okay” becomes a passing cloud rather than a personal defect or identity. You stop stacking judgment on top of pain, giving the natural resilience of Mind room to float you upward. 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: If a friend felt exactly what you feel today, how would you speak to them? How can you offer the same tone to yourself right now? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Life Isn’t Against You
It’s Responding to You
At first glance, that might sound like a harsh truth, especially when life feels like a wave crashing over your head for the fifth time this week. What if this isn’t about blame? What if it’s about invitation? This feeling is just an alert to understand life at a deeper level. Let me tell you about “Sarah”, a past client. She kept saying, “Why does this always happen to me? Why can’t I catch a break?” It appeared as though her job was draining her. Her marriage was tense. Her energy felt hijacked by everything outside of her. She thought life was picking on her. That the universe had a vendetta. What she didn’t see was that her mind was running in high-alert mode 24/7, expecting drama, bracing for rejection, scanning for what might go wrong, judging herself, life and others. Her internal weather forecast was constant storm clouds with a high likelihood of tornados. And what do you know? Her external life kept matching that forecast. That’s not magic. That’s the mind at work. When your internal world is tense, critical, judgmental and/or fearful, the world reflects it, not because it's cruel, but because it’s a mirror. Your perception creates your reality. Our experience of life is created moment-to-moment through Thought, not through the circumstances themselves. When our thinking clears, even for a moment, so does our perspective. Clarity rushes in. And life feels different, because we are different in that moment. A metaphor I use often: Imagine walking around with a pair of sunglasses covered in smudges and dust. You’d swear the world is dim, gray, and blurry. But the world hasn’t changed. Only your lens has. And when you clean the lens, when you see your thinking for what it is and stop gripping it like gospel, the view transforms. QUESTION: What beliefs or thought patterns have been tinting your “glasses” without you realizing it? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Personal Boundaries Aren’t Punishment
Personal Boundaries Aren’t Punishment. They’re clarity in action. They protect love, not hinder it. Meet Sarah. Sarah used to say yes… a lot. Yes to dinner plans she didn’t have energy for. Yes to late-night phone calls that drained her. Yes to requests at work that pushed her into overwhelm. She said yes because she thought it was loving. She thought saying no would hurt people. Push them away. Make her “selfish.” Unlovable. Here’s the truth... saying yes when your heart says no is just another form of self-abandonment. And eventually, it caught up with her. Her smile thinned. Her sleep disappeared. Her resentment bubbled just beneath her surface. Sarah wasn’t loving. She was leaking. So we flipped the script. She started treating Personal Boundaries not like brick walls, but like garden fences. Not to keep people out... but to honor what was growing inside. To prioritize her mental, emotional and physical energy first and foremost. That’s Self-Leadership. QUESTION: Where in your life are you saying “yes” to others but “no” to yourself? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Emotional Responsibility NOT Emotional Suppression
Owning your feelings doesn’t mean ignoring them. It means leading them. The Lantern Metaphor – A New Way to See Your Emotions Think of each emotion like a little lantern, gifted to you in the dark woods of your life. Some glow soft and warm, like joy or peace, easy to hold, easy to follow. Others burn hotter, like anger, sadness, fear, and we’re taught to fear them, tame them, or hide them. So what do most of us do? We shove the lantern under a blanket. Out of sight. Hoping the flame will die down. But what happens when you do that? The light flickers, smoke fills the tent, your eyes sting, and everything gets harder to see. You stumble more. You lose your bearings. And the very thing that could’ve lit the way becomes a hazard. Now imagine this: Instead of hiding that lantern, you hold it out in front of you. You steady your hand. You feel the warmth. You breathe with it. Suddenly the path begins to reveal itself, not all at once, but just enough to take the next right step. This is what emotional leadership looks like. Not pretending the flame isn’t there. Not tossing it at someone else. Not shaming yourself for holding it. Just choosing to walk with it. Some days the light will be shaky. Other days it will shine strong. Either way, the power comes not from controlling the flame, but from honoring its guidance. QUESTION: What’s a strong emotion that is there to teach you a new way of being that you can lean into and use to empower you? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When Doing Less Reveals More
Sarah came to me burnt out, but didn’t know it yet. On paper, she was thriving. VP title. Full calendar. Always ten steps ahead for her boss, her team, her kids, her partner. She lived in motion, texting between meetings, folding laundry during date night, replying to emails while brushing her teeth. (superwoman) She didn’t call it overwhelm. She called it “being efficient.” “productive” Underneath all the high-functioning energy was something she couldn’t name, just this low-grade tension in her chest and a gnawing disconnect she couldn’t fix with another productivity hack. Her relationship was strained. “We barely talk anymore unless it’s logistics,” she said. She wanted to connect with her partner, but every conversation turned into conflict… or silence. And that silence? Felt like failure. The Real Root: What She Thought She Was Avoiding When we started working together, Sarah believed her problem was communication. Communication when from pressure, fix it mode, low mood or low energy will make matters worse. What we uncovered was deeper: She wasn’t scared of her partner’s silence... She was scared of her own silence. Because stillness felt powerless. Unsafe. Uncertain. Terrifying. Revealing. Growing up in a chaotic home, the calm before the storm was never peaceful, it was predictable danger. So she avoided stillness by over-functioning. She micromanaged everything and everyone. She fixed what wasn’t broken. She stayed so busy there was no space left to feel. The Shift: Less Doing, More Listening I introduced her to what we called “Stillness Minutes.” Five minutes a day. No scrolling. No solving. Just… being. She resisted. “I can’t sit still. It’s a waste of time.” Her brain spun with grocery lists, old arguments, and imaginary crises. But then, about two weeks in.. something cracked open. She told me, “I didn’t do anything, and I suddenly realized I miss myself.” She missed her own voice. She missed knowing what she wanted, outside of what was needed. She started to dream and creating a list of things she wanted to accomplish, do, see and experience. She missed feeling loved for who she was, not what she did. In stillness, that truth surfaced. The Reward: Clarity Without Force Over time, those five minutes became her reset button. She stopped chasing clarity and started making space for it. Her nervous system began to trust that calm didn’t mean danger, it meant access. Access to presence. To softness. To her own dreams. To herself. And here’s the kicker.. her communication with her partner improved without a single script or tool. Because she wasn’t reacting from overload anymore. She was responding from grounded, calm, safe clarity. Stillness gave her what hustle never could: Connection. Not just to him… but to herself. Stillness doesn’t cause the clarity, it allows it. QUESTION: What feelings or truths might you be avoiding by always staying busy, distracted, or in motion? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Sarah’s Wake-Up Call
Sarah had always seen herself as the “strong one” in her relationship. She made things easier for John, she edited his work emails, offered constant suggestions on how to dress better, reminded him to drink water, and even rewrote texts before he sent them. It felt like love to her. Like she was being a good partner. Like she was helping him be his best. (well meaning and innocently that’s what she believed) But one night, something cracked. John forgot to send a thank-you note to her parents after dinner. Sarah didn’t just get annoyed, she completely broke down in tears. And not the kind that feels clean and honest. The kind that explodes out of nowhere, built up over time. That moment stunned her. It wasn’t about the note. Not really. It was about what his forgetfulness meant to her. That maybe she didn’t matter. That maybe all her efforts didn’t make her more lovable, just more exhausted. The next morning, she sat alone with her coffee and finally asked the real question: “Why am I trying so hard to fix him?” The answer hit her like a wave. Because if I’m always focused on fixing him, I don’t have to face what I’m afraid is broken in me. That day, she wrote one thing on a sticky note and stuck it to her mirror: “Mirror first.” Every time she felt the urge to correct John, whether it was about his socks, his tone, or his decisions, she paused, took a breath, and checked in with herself. What am I really feeling? What am I really needing? Over time, something shifted. She began noticing her own anxiety instead of projecting it onto him. She started naming her feelings instead of controlling the environment. And without a single lecture, something unexpected happened, John began showing up more. He started initiating, remembering, and contributing in ways he hadn’t before. Not because she fixed him. Because she stopped trying to. That he is perfectly fine the way he is. That if it’s important to him, he will do it, if it’s not he won’t. It’s not her job to overperform and ignore herself. Her mirror work became an invitation, not a demand. And in that space, both of them grew. Question: What does true support look like when it is rooted in encouragement rather than rescue? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Reactivity Isn’t Reality
You don’t need to believe every emotional urge. Respond, don’t react. Ever stubbed your toe and then wanted to throw your whole life away for five minutes? Yep. That’s reactivity. It’s the brain’s way of protecting us, fast, loud, emotional, but not always accurate. Reactivity feels urgent. It floods us with stories like “This always happens,” “I’m not respected,” “They don’t care,” before we’ve even had a chance to breathe. That doesn’t mean those feelings aren’t real. It means they aren’t always true. QUESTION: What would your wisest self do if you didn’t have to prove, protect, or punish? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Victim or Visionary?
You can’t lead your life while clinging to powerlessness. Visualize this… A woman stood in the middle of a fast-moving river, soaked, freezing, barely holding onto a rock. She was yelling for help, blaming the current, the storm, the world, for putting her there. She thought clinging to that rock was her only chance of survival. It was familiar. Safe. Even if it hurt to cling to it. That rock? It’s the identity of the victim. It feels like: “Why is this happening to me?” “No one understands me.” “I can’t change unless they do.” Powerlessness is seductive and if you don’t know you’re doing it, you’ll stay in a place that you’re blaming and complaining that everything is happening to you. You never get to create what could happen for you. Being a visionary doesn’t mean denying pain. It means using pain as fuel instead of weight. When you shift from victim to visionary, your language changes. You stop saying, “This is just how I am,” and start asking, “What do I want to create?” You stop waiting to be rescued, and you become resilient. You become someone who leads their life, not reacts to it. QUESTION: What’s one choice you could make today that would move you from powerlessness into personal leadership? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
You can’t outrun your inner dialogue
True peace comes from befriending your mind, not avoiding it. Imagine this: You’re on a treadmill. Not in a gym, but in your own mind. The belt keeps speeding up. Every negative thought, self-doubt, memory, or criticism presses “faster.” You run harder. You distract. You overwork. You overthink. You please, scroll, numb, compare, and push through. You try to "out-positive" the fear. Or bury it in productivity. But eventually… The treadmill wins. Your legs give out. And you’re right back where you started, face to face with the one voice that never left: your own. That voice, the one in your head narrating your worth, your relationships, your past, isn’t something to silence or outrun. It’s something to understand. Here's the truth: No amount of outer peace can outlast an inner war. And most people are waging battles with thoughts they never chose. Stories inherited from childhood. Fears passed down. Beliefs that were absorbed in moments of pain or confusion, but never questioned. Real healing starts when you stop running and start listening. Not to believe every thought… But to see each one for what it is: a messenger. Not a master. QUESTION: When your mental treadmill starts accelerating, what early signal tells you it’s time to step off and breathe? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Pain Is a Messenger, Not a Master
Listen to pain, but don’t let it lead your life. Imagine your life as a road trip. You're in the driver’s seat. You’ve got a destination in mind, a life aligned with love, peace, and purpose. Suddenly, the check engine light comes on. That light? It’s pain. Pain isn’t there to hijack your journey. It’s a signal, like the check engine light, asking you to slow down, check in, and pay attention. Find a solution. But too often, we hand it the wheel. Maybe your pain sounds like: “No one really sees me.” “I always have to be strong.” “I can’t trust anyone with my heart.” Those are valid feelings (all feelings are valid, they are a product of what you think and believe). And if you ignore or fight them, they’ll show up louder, through burnout, resentment, emotional distance, even physical symptoms. Pain is trying to tell you something… about what needs care, not control. Here's the trap: when you let pain lead in your decisions and actions, it distorts your vision. You start protecting instead of connecting. Controlling instead of trusting. Surviving instead of living. Healing doesn’t mean silencing the pain. It means becoming the leader of your life again. It means asking: “What is this pain trying to teach me, without letting it decide who I am or where I go?” Let the pain ride shotgun, it’s well meaning and served you well in the past, acknowledge it and let it come along but you’re the driver now. QUESTION: Where in your life have you let pain take the wheel, and what’s one small way you can reclaim the driver’s seat this week? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Trigger Is the Teacher
What fires you up, points to what’s unresolved. We all have that thing, someone says something, or doesn’t say anything at all… and suddenly we’re hot, shut down, defensive, or hurt. That jolt? That flare-up? That’s your trigger. It’s not proof something’s wrong with you. It’s proof something within you is ready to be looked at. Metaphor: The Smoke Alarm Think of a trigger like a smoke alarm. It goes off when something’s burning, but it doesn’t always mean the house is on fire (could be burnt toast). The alarm isn’t the problem. It’s an alert. A signal. And when we keep ripping the batteries out or blaming the toast, we miss the real opportunity: to check in, get curious, and figure out why that particular moment lit us up. Internally. It’s not in the external world. That’s what makes triggers teachers, not enemies. They offer clues. And they can lead us to old pain, buried needs, forgotten beliefs, or emotional blind spots that are quietly shaping how we respond to life and love. QUESTION: What’s one recent moment that hit a nerve, harder than it probably should have? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Not Every Thought Deserves a Microphone
Imagine being at a loud party where one guest is constantly yelling over everyone else. They’re dramatic, repetitive, and frankly.. kind of rude. Now imagine that guest lives in your head. That’s your inner noise. The unfiltered voice that overreacts, replays the past, predicts disaster, and critiques you relentlessly. The problem is, we often hand that guest the mic and let them host the show. Wisdom? Wisdom is at the back of the room. Calm. Grounded. Not fighting for attention. It waits for stillness. For you to stop reacting, slow down and start listening. One of my clients once described it perfectly. She said, “It’s like my anxious thoughts are pounding on the front door, and my truth is whispering in the backyard.” And that’s exactly it. Not every thought is truth. Not every thought is kind. And not every thought gets to decide your next move. You get to choose who holds the mic. You get to pause and ask, “Is this thought helpful, or just loud?” Because when you stop giving every thought the spotlight, you start hearing what really matters, your values, your intentions, your deeper knowing. QUESTION: If you stopped reacting to every loud thought, what might you hear instead? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
What You Feel Isn’t Always What’s Real
Emotions are valid, but they aren’t verdicts. Learn to pause. Story + Metaphor: Imagine standing at the edge of a lake. The water is calm, like a mirror, until you throw in a stone. Ripples spread. That’s what emotions often are: ripples. Not the truth of the water, but the reaction to a disturbance. One client I worked with shared how every time her partner was quiet, she felt ignored, unwanted, or shut out. Her heart would race, her inner voice would scream, “He doesn’t care about me.” That felt really true (valid). But when she finally paused, took a breath, and checked in, she found out he was stressed from work and lost in his own thoughts. It had nothing to do with her. When she was in a low mental state or mood this would make things seem worse than they really were. I supported her in navigating her state of mind and moods, where this wouldn’t consume her so easily. Remember: Feelings are signals, alarms, not facts. They're smoke, not always fire. They're stories we tell ourselves based on old fears, wounds, or past experiences. When we treat every emotion like it’s a final judgment, we get stuck living on emotional autopilot, reacting rather than responding. When we pause, we reclaim our power. We create space between what we feel and how we choose to feel and act. Emotional freedom starts there. QUESTION: What’s a recent moment when you mistook a feeling for the full truth of a situation? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Blame Game Is a Loop
Blame feels like control but keeps you stuck in powerlessness. The Blame Game Is a Loop Blame feels like control… but keeps you stuck in powerlessness. Imagine you’re stuck in a roundabout with no exits. Every turn looks the same. You keep circling, convinced that if someone else would just change, you could finally move forward. That’s what blame feels like, motion. But it’s not progress. It’s a loop. A dizzying one. And the longer you stay in it, the more disoriented, disconnected, and defeated you feel. Blame gives the illusion of control. “If they hadn’t said that…” “If life wasn’t so unfair…” “If only my partner would understand…” It temporarily soothes the sting of pain by redirecting it outward. The hard truth with a hopeful twist: when you hand over power to what you can’t control, you lose touch with what you can, your choices, your responses, your freedom. Let me tell you about Sarah. She came to coaching feeling stuck, frustrated, and unseen in her relationship. Her partner never opened up, never initiated, never “got it.” After months of replaying and score keeping his flaws and waiting for him to “step up,” she asked a different question: What is this pattern asking me to see in myself? That shift.. tiny but powerful, broke the loop. She stopped reacting and started leading. Not from blame. From emotional responsibility. From love. That’s when her entire relationship dynamic began to change. Blame says “you’re the problem.” Responsibility says “I have the power to shift this.” One keeps you trapped. The other opens the door to change. QUESTION: Where in your life do you feel stuck in a loop, and who or what are you waiting on to change first? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s Not Them
Emotional pain doesn’t start outside you, it starts in your perception. Allow me to explain.. Imagine walking into a room wearing sunglasses with a red tint. Suddenly, the white walls look pink, the soft light feels harsh, and the people around you seem flushed or irritated. You wouldn’t realize the glasses are tinting your world, you might just assume, “Something is off with them.” But it’s not the room. It’s the lens. That’s how perception works in relationships. We experience others not as they are, but through the lens of our past wounds, non-conscious beliefs, and emotional state in the moment. When we’re carrying old resentment, unhealed hurt, or anxiety from something else entirely, even neutral behavior from others can feel like a threat. We react not to reality, but to the story our brain is telling about it. The moment you truly grasp that emotional pain often begins with how you’re seeing, not what you’re seeing, you unlock emotional freedom. That trigger is simply an alert, a signal that there’s something internal needing healed. This doesn’t mean letting people off the hook for bad behavior. It means you get to take your power back by noticing what’s yours to shift. QUESTION: What emotional “lens” might you be wearing in your closest relationship right now? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s Not To Late
“It’s too late to fix this.” → Feeling: Defeated → Behavior: Give up, check out → Result: Self-fulfilling prophecy Insight: Change doesn’t happen before the turning point, it is the turning point. Metaphor: Even a broken clock is only two clicks away from alignment. The Broken Clock & the Turning Point “It’s too late to fix this.” That’s the quiet whisper of defeat that shows up after you’ve tried to hold it together for too long. After the last conversation went nowhere. After the warmth turned to routine… or worse, cold silence. It’s easy to believe that because something has felt broken for so long, it can’t be rebuilt, it’s not broken. Here's the deeper truth: Change doesn’t wait for a “perfect moment.” It is the moment. Imagine a clock that’s stopped. It’s not ticking, not telling time, just stuck. Useless, right? Here’s the twist: even that broken clock is only two clicks away from telling the right time again. Relationships are the same. They don’t need to be perfect to move again, they just need movement. The smallest shift in direction, an honest conversation, a new intention, a courageous act of self-leadership, can create ripples that change everything. Most breakthroughs don’t feel like fireworks. They feel like exhaustion. Or silence. Or one more “what’s the point?” It’s exactly there, in that moment where you feel like checking out, that your next chapter quietly asks: “Are you willing to do something different this time?” Remember we will get the same results doing the same thing over and over. And no, you don’t have to do it alone. QUESTION: What would change if you believed it wasn’t too late—but just time for a new beginning? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com