Coaching Notes
Daily bite‑sized coaching insights that help you shift patterns, deepen connection, and spark growth in moments that matter.
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The Loud Thought Isn’t the Wise One
There’s a split-second moment most people never notice. A thought pops up. Two choices appear. The loud one and the quiet one. The loud one is usually the familiar worry. The old belief. The prediction your brain has rehearsed a thousand times. It fires fast and feels convincing. The quieter one is the wiser voice. The grounded one. The perspective that only shows up when you pause long enough to hear it. Most people think the problem is that positive thinking is hard. It isn’t. The problem is that negative thinking is familiar and loud. And familiar feels true, even when it isn’t. A client once told me, “I tried to believe the better thought, but the old one won.” Of course it did. It has more reps. It has history. It has emotional muscle memory. Your mind isn’t choosing truth. It’s choosing speed. Here’s the shift that changes everything: You don’t need to force a positive thought. You only need to notice which one you believed first. Speed is not wisdom. Volume is not accuracy. Familiar is not truth. The moment you see that, something opens. You stop wrestling the negative thought. You stop trying to “fix” your mindset. You simply recognize the pattern. And when you stop automatically buying the loudest thought, the quiet one finally has a chance to land. What happens in you when you pause long enough to hear the wiser thought instead of the faster one? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Brain’s Default Setting Isn’t Positivity.
Most people think they have a “negative thinking problem.” What they really have is a brain that’s still doing its old job: look for danger first, truth second. It’s not personal. It’s hard wired. You can feel it in real time. One small disappointment, one unread text, one unexpected tone shift, and suddenly your mind starts scanning for what this might mean. Did I do something wrong. Is something about to fall apart. Is this a sign. It isn’t negativity. It’s the brain predicting danger, the way it learned to keep you safe long before you had language for any of this. Negative thoughts feel sticky because they carry a survival charge. Your nervous system pays more attention to what might hurt than what might help. So switching to a positive belief feels suspicious, vulnerable, almost irresponsible. Like you’re lowering your guard. The real shift happens when you notice this: Your mind is reacting to an old threat pattern, not the present moment. The danger it’s trying to prevent isn’t actually in the room. The moment your body realizes you’re safe right now, the grip loosens on its own. You don’t fight the negative thought. You stop treating it like a fire alarm. And something softer rises in the quiet. Not forced positivity. Just clarity. A calm mind doesn’t need bright slogans. It just needs to remember it’s safe. Where does your mind mistake protection for truth? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Ego Always Wants to Be the Hero
The ego loves to be the one who “tried harder,” who “did everything right.” It feeds on roles: the fixer, the victim, the strong one, the misunderstood one. It doesn’t care if you’re suffering, only that you’re starring in the story. The ego is obsessed with control because control feels like significance. It wants to win arguments, earn validation, be seen as good or right. Even self-blame is ego, it’s still you, at the center of the universe. The truth is quieter: Your worth doesn’t increase when you win, and it doesn’t vanish when you lose. When you stop performing, life stops feeling like a competition and starts feeling like peace. Ego is loud. Awareness is still. Only one of them leads to freedom. Where in your life are you trying to be the hero instead of being honest? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Mind Settles When You Do
There’s a strange thing the mind does when life feels heavy. It tries to think its way out. More analyzing. More replaying. More tightening around “the problem” like tension will produce an answer. It’s the same trap you fall into at night. You don’t fall asleep by focusing harder on sleeping. You fall asleep when you stop wrestling your own thoughts. Life works the same way. The more you push, the louder the mind gets. The more you search for certainty, the further it slips. The more you grip the story, the more tangled you feel. Here’s the twist most people miss. Clarity doesn’t show up through effort. It shows up through settling. Like dust in a quiet room. Like water clearing when you stop stirring it. Like a snowglobe when you stop shaking it. When you stop fighting your thoughts, the fog lifts on its own. Not because you solved anything in your head, but because the noise finally made space for truth to land. What happens in your life when you stop trying to “think” your way into peace and simply let your mind settle? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Calm Hiding Under the Chaos
She prided herself on efficiency. Emails at stoplights. Voicemails between parking spaces. Meal planning in the checkout line. She called it discipline. Her body called it panic. One day, she hit a red light she couldn’t multi-task her way through. Her phone died. Her car was quiet. And for the first time in years, there was nothing left to manage. She felt the anxiety rise. Then she noticed something unexpected: the only threat in the car was her own thoughts. Doing had been her drug. It kept her from feeling how exhausted she really was. Something softened in that stillness. She let the light stay red without trying to fight it, or make it change faster than humanly possible. Without trying to fill the moment. The calm that followed wasn’t dramatic. It was simple. A reminder that life was never asking her to be busy. Only to be a humanBEING. What happens inside you when you stop filling every empty second? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Compliment Hook
There’s this moment that sneaks up on a lot of us. Someone smiles, praises something about us, or gives a little extra attention. And for a second, it feels like a hit of oxygen. Then something subtle happens. The mind starts waiting for the next one. Checking their tone. Watching for signs of approval like it’s a scoreboard. It looks like connection, but it’s really a quiet transaction. Your worth for their reaction. And the moment their energy shifts, your stomach drops. Not because anything terrible happened, but because your sense of steadiness was sitting in their hands. Here’s the truth that usually lands with a sting before it brings relief: No one can steal your value. You hand it over when you let their mood set your meaning. Confidence isn’t built from being praised. It’s built from not crumbling when the praise stops. Where does your peace still depend on someone’s reaction? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Story You Defend Becomes the Cage You Live In
People get stuck less from reality and more from the story they’re loyal to in their mind. The story becomes the cage. You hear it in those familiar lines we all use when we’re scared to change: “This is just how I am.” “I can’t help it.” I’ve always struggled with this.” “I react this way because they…” Those sentences feel honest in the moment. They feel protective. They feel like explanations. But every time you repeat them, you reinforce the very pattern you want to outgrow. You’re rehearsing the limitation. You’re carving the groove deeper. At some point the story stops describing your past and starts deciding your future. A better question to ask yourself is this: What would be possible if I stopped defending this version of me? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Thanksgiving Moment That Tests Your Sanity
There’s always that one moment on Thanksgiving when someone wonders why they didn’t just stay home and eat cereal. This year’s moment usually hits in the kitchen. The sink. A leaning tower of dishes. Plates. Bowls. Forks. A ladle that somehow wasn’t used for anything. And one rogue sock that no one can explain. Someone stands there in silence, doing the math on their life choices. They woke up grateful and grounded. Twenty minutes with family later and their nervous system files for evacuation. Then the thoughts start rolling in. “Why am I the only adult here?” “Is this a social experiment and no one told me?” “Is this the part of the movie where the main character snaps?” “Are you all conducting a study on how long I’ll last before losing it?” “This is how villains are made.” But the real punchline never comes from the dishes. It comes from the meaning the mind tries to attach: No one respects me. I’m carrying everything. No one notices what I do. Suddenly the sink becomes a symbol of every emotional labor invoice that never got submitted. Here’s the twist that breaks the spell. Peace isn’t hiding under the pile of plates. It’s hiding under the stories the mind adds to the plates. Once that’s seen, the whole thing becomes absurd again. It’s Thanksgiving. Chaos is part of the menu. Someone will spill gravy. Someone will bring a casserole no one wanted. Someone will leave with all the good leftovers. And the only thing anyone actually controls is the story they let run the show. Where did your mind try to turn a small moment into a personal saga today? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Connection Paradox
You know that moment when you want closeness more than anything, yet somehow the way you reach for it pushes the other person away? It happens quietly. You send the extra text. You ask a loaded question. You check their tone. You brace for disappointment before anything has even gone wrong. From the outside it looks like effort. On the inside it is protection. Your mind scans for signs. Your chest tightens. You try to manage the moment so it feels safer. The trap is simple. The more you try to secure a connection, the less connected you feel. Because you’re no longer relating to the person in front of you. You’re relating to the fear inside you. One path is driven by worry. The other is driven by presence. When you notice that shift, something softens. You stop trying to make the interaction go a certain way. You stop shaping your behavior around the old story that closeness is fragile. You show up as yourself instead of a manager of outcomes. And connection starts to feel less like a chase and more like something that grows in the space you stop gripping. Where do you work harder for connection when the real invitation is to relax into it? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When Someone Messes With Your Annual Party Plans
There’s nothing like that moment when you’ve had the same plan every single year and someone decides this is the year they’re going to shake the snow globe. You’ve hosted your annual party forever. People know the date. It’s practically a local tradition. An institution. A holiday landmark. Then someone drops their own event right on top of yours. At first the reaction hits fast. A little heat in the chest. A tiny spike of “Are you kidding me?” You start running scenarios in your mind like a detective on a crime show. They knew the date. They should have remembered. Why would they do that? Do they not care? Is this personal? Your brain loves a conspiracy theory when feelings are involved. Here’s the twist we forget. What feels like betrayal is usually just someone living in their own world, not plotting against yours. Most people aren’t tracking our traditions with the reverence we think they should. They’re just managing their own calendars, chaos, and families. Meanwhile, your mind quickly judges their scheduling decision as a statement about how much they care about you. The real tension is internal. Your hurt is valid. Your story about why it happened is optional. And once the emotional dust settles, something even more honest will show up: It was never the clash on the calendar. It was the tug in your chest that whispers, “Did they consider me?” That question stings more than the scheduling conflict. When you see that, the grip loosens a little. You can still host your event. You can still enjoy it. You can still love your people and your traditions without holding anyone hostage to them. The moment you stop taking their plans personally, yours open back up. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Hyper-Productive Parent
He told himself he was being a good dad. Always fixing. Always building. Always doing. The kids asked him to sit with them on the couch. He said, “In a minute.” That minute stretched into years. Underneath the projects was a mind that couldn’t handle stillness. Busyness felt safe. Being present felt dangerous, like he’d have to face the grief and pressure he’d been carrying alone. One night, he tried something different. He put down the screwdriver and sat between his kids. No plan. No goal. Just presence. His mind fought it at first. Then it softened. Doing had been survival. Being felt like living. And in that small, unplanned moment, he realized his kids never wanted a perfect life. They wanted him. Where are you choosing activity over connection? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
One comment. Full identity crisis.
The dishes are in the sink after Thanksgiving. You’re full. You’re tired. You’ve survived three political arguments and at least one family member questioning your life choices. Your spouse walks by, looks at the sink, and says, “These really should be done the night before.” And your brain doesn’t hear that. Not even close. It hears: “Congrats, you’ve officially failed at basic adulthood.” “You can’t even keep up with the holiday chaos. Nice.” “You’re already dropping the ball.” “You’re slipping, and everyone probably sees it.” It’s wild how fast the mind jumps. One comment about dishes becomes a full character evaluation. Not by them… by you. Here’s the truth hiding under the gravy-stained stress: Dishes are neutral. Your worth isn’t on the counter next to the pie knives. The only thing that turned that moment into a personal failure was the old story your mind replayed. The one that says you must get everything right to be enough. You can drop that story. You can laugh a little. You can wash a dish or not wash a dish and still be a whole, solid human. What holiday moment does your mind turn into a performance review that it never actually was? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Politics at Thanksgiving
No one agrees Politics at Thanksgiving Someone brings it up. It always happens. A topic no one agrees on, tension rising before the turkey hits the plates. Voices get sharper. People talk over each other. You feel your chest tighten, waiting for the moment someone says something that sets the whole table on fire. Here is the trap we fall into. We think disagreement threatens connection. We think raised voices mean raised stakes. We think the room’s tension is our responsibility to fix or manage. It isn’t. Most people aren’t actually arguing politics. They are arguing for their sense of certainty. Their identity. Their fear of being wrong. Their need for control. Their story about how the world should work. Once you see that, the room changes. You stop taking the heat personally. You stop engaging from the same emotional place. You notice that everyone is talking from their own nervous system, not from logic or truth. You can stay steady even when the table tilts. You can hear the words without letting them define you. You can opt out of the emotional tug of war by not picking up the rope. The moment you stop treating disagreement as danger, the whole dynamic loses power. What part of you feels responsible for keeping the peace, and what happens if you let the moment be messy without making it about you? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Parent’s Advice at Thanksgiving
There’s always that one moment in the conversation. You’re catching them up on life, doing your best to keep it light, and then it lands. “You should really be saving more.” It’s framed as wisdom. Offered like guidance. Delivered like a concern. But the way it hits your body is different. Your stomach drops. Your shoulders tense. A familiar heat rises in your chest, the kind that shows up when you feel examined instead of understood. On the surface, it’s just advice. Underneath, it feels like harsh judgment and criticism. You hear: I’m irresponsible. I’m behind. I’m not measuring up. I’m failing. And without even realizing it, you’re no longer sitting at the table as the adult you’ve become. You’re sitting there as the kid who once tried to prove you were doing life “right.” Here’s what’s actually happening. Their words are coming from their lens. Their fears about money. Their own history of scarcity. Their belief that safety is earned by being practical and prepared. They’re speaking from THEIR reality, not yours. The real discomfort isn’t their comment. It’s the old meaning YOUR mind attaches to it. Because the moment you stop taking their advice as a judgment of your character, something softens. You remember that your path isn’t supposed to look like theirs. You remember that adulthood isn’t measured in approval points collected at holiday dinners. You remember that your life is allowed to unfold at your pace. And suddenly, the comment loses its power. What if their advice was never about your choices, only about their fear of what they couldn’t control? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Sibling Comment at Thanksgiving
There’s always that one moment at the table. Someone asks about your work or your goals, and before you even finish the sentence they drop it. “You’re still doing that?” It’s not the words. It’s the tone. The undertone. The implication that your life is up for review by the family panel. Your stomach tightens. Your chest heats. You feel judged or small, like you’re suddenly twelve again trying to defend your choices to people who never really understood your lane. Here’s the part we forget. That moment isn’t telling you anything about your worth. It’s telling you something about their perception. People speak from their own limits. Their own fears. Their own version of what’s “realistic.” The real trap is thinking their tone means something about you. It doesn’t. Your path doesn’t become less valid because someone raised an eyebrow. Your growth doesn’t shrink because someone else can’t see it. Your commitment doesn’t weaken because they don’t get it. If anything, these moments reveal how far you’ve come. CELEBRATE You no longer need their understanding to stay rooted in what you’re building. What if their comment was never about you, and only about the limits of their imagination? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
From Puppet to Author
The moment you let someone else decide how you feel, you hand them your strings. A comment, a silence, a tone, and suddenly your whole body reacts. You tell yourself, “They made me feel that way.” But no one pulls your strings but you. The mind says, “If they’d just change, I’d be fine.” That’s the illusion of control. You’ve built your peace on someone else’s behavior. Two people can hear the same words. One spirals. The other takes a breath and remembers who they are. This is proof that our feelings aren’t universal, they are unique to each individual. You’re never reacting to the person. You’re reacting to the meaning YOU gave them. And that’s where your power lives. When you remember that feeling follows thought, not circumstance, you get your strings back. That’s when you stop performing life and start leading it. Who or what have you been handing your emotional strings to lately? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Most of What You Call Personality Is Conditioning
A lot of what you think is “just how I am” is really who you had to be to stay safe. The responsible one. The quiet one. The peacemaker. The achiever. These weren’t traits. They were strategies. They helped you read the room, avoid conflict, earn approval, or prevent chaos. They worked so well that you started mistaking them for identity. What protected you then now limits you. Old roles become small cages when life no longer requires the performance. Authenticity isn’t something you search for. It’s what shows up when you stop trying to manage everyone’s reactions. It’s the clarity that appears when your nervous system finally stops bracing for impact. The real you isn’t a role. It’s the quiet awareness underneath every role you’ve ever played. Which parts of you were once protection but now feel like confinement? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your Brain Evolved for Survival, Not Happiness
Your brain isn’t built to make you happy. It’s built to keep you alive. That’s why it scans for threats, remembers criticism more than praise, and expects rejection even when love is in front of you. This ancient alarm system worked great when tigers were real. Now the tiger is an unread message, a partner’s tone, or silence after you’ve sent a text. Happiness feels foreign because safety, not joy, is your brain’s first priority. You can’t delete that wiring, but you can learn to see it. Awareness is how you evolve beyond survival. When you notice fear without obeying it, the system begins to trust you again. Then it relaxes. And in that relaxation, happiness finally has room to breathe. What if nothing is wrong with you, your brain just hasn’t realized it’s safe yet? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Beliefs Filter Every Experience
No one lives in the same world. We each live in a world filtered by what we believe. Beliefs act like tinted glasses. They decide what you notice, what you ignore, and how you interpret it all. If you believe you’re not enough, you’ll find evidence in every silence. If you believe people can’t be trusted, kindness looks suspicious. If you believe love is scarce, every goodbye feels like proof. The mind doesn’t care if the belief is true, only that it feels familiar. That’s how we stay trapped inside invisible cages we built ourselves. Freedom begins the moment you question your own certainty, and become more self aware of patterns and habits that are repeating. What belief has shaped how you see everything, and are you sure it’s still true? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Pain Avoided Becomes Pain Multiplied
Unfelt emotion doesn’t disappear. It waits. Every moment you avoid feeling turns into something else, sarcasm, control, busyness, resentment, exhaustion. Avoidance feels like relief in the short term, but long term it becomes a slow drip of suffering that stains everything. The body keeps the receipts. When we suppress pain, it doesn’t die; it hides in muscles, breath, posture, and tone. It becomes the background hum that shapes our decisions and reactions. Feeling isn’t weakness. It’s cleansing. Emotion moves through like weather when you stop holding it hostage. You don't heal by avoiding pain. You heal by letting it pass through without needing it to justify itself. What have you been avoiding feeling, and what would happen if you finally stopped running from it? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
There’s No Time for Me
There’s a quiet belief that runs beneath so many busy lives. It sounds practical, even noble. “I just don’t have time for me.” It slips out between the kids’ schedules, the partner’s work, the never-ending to-do list. It’s the invisible mantra of those who hold everything together. But beneath the logistics is something else. It’s not really about time. It’s about permission. Our needs become the thing that gets postponed, until “later,” which rarely comes. Here’s what I’ve learned from coaching: Most people don’t actually lack time. They’ve just learned to value themselves last. They’ve been conditioned to believe everything they do for others is mandatory, and everything they do for themselves is negotiable. And so they move fast, but rarely move towards what they need. The truth is, “no time for me” is almost never a scheduling problem. It’s a nervous system stuck in survival and a mind that hasn’t learned how to let itself matter. The moment you see it, everything simplifies. The real question becomes, “How will I show up for myself today?” A quiet cup of coffee without multitasking. A walk without earbuds. A single, unhurried breath before the next thing. Time rarely opens on its own. We open it, by deciding we belong in our own life. Where does “there’s no time for me” still run your day, and what small moment could you reclaim today? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When Order Becomes a Prison
There’s a point where wanting things neat and predictable stops being helpful and starts becoming a trap. It’s not the love of order that hurts us, it’s believing peace depends on it. I once coached someone who prided himself on being organized and disciplined. He liked things to make sense. He liked people to follow through. But when others didn’t: his wife, coworkers, even life itself, his mind turned into a courtroom. Everyone was guilty of “not doing it right.” He was sure he’d feel calm once people stopped being careless. He didn’t see that his frustration wasn’t coming from them at all. It was coming from his own resistance to how things were. We often confuse control with peace. One creates order outside. The other lives quietly inside. You can sit in a messy room and still feel clear. You can face unpredictability and still be steady. That’s self-leadership, not perfection, not approval, not managing everyone around you. When he began to see this, something softened. His wife didn’t change. His circumstances didn’t either. But his mind did. The noise wasn’t out there, it was in him. When he stopped arguing with reality, the world suddenly felt lighter. Sometimes the most “together” people are just the best at hiding how tightly they’re gripping. Freedom isn’t getting life in order, it’s remembering you were never meant to manage the world, only your own state of mind. Where in your life are you mistaking control for peace? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Happiness Is a Byproduct, Not a Goal
Happiness doesn’t arrive when life finally behaves. It shows up quietly when you stop fighting what is. We chase happiness the way we chase sunsets, running after something that was never meant to be caught. The more you demand it, the further it drifts. True contentment grows from integrity, presence, and meaning. It’s not a mood, it’s the side effect of alignment to self. When what you think, believe, say, and do match, the mind rests. You don’t have to earn joy. You have to stop demanding it. What would happen if you stopped chasing happiness and started living honestly? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
They Are Driving Me Crazy
There’s a moment in every relationship where it feels like the other person is the problem. You tell yourself, “they are driving me crazy.” You replay conversations, analyze tone, and wonder how someone can hold so much power over your mood. It makes sense that it feels this way. When we love deeply, our nervous system starts linking safety to another person’s behavior. Every text, delay, or silence becomes proof of how safe, or unsafe, we are. It’s exhausting. Here’s what’s really happening. It isn’t them creating the chaos. It’s the mind trying to control what it can’t. Make sense of the situation. Our brains are wired to search for safety through predictability. When we can’t predict someone we care about, the mind starts spinning stories to make sense of it. Maybe they don't care. Maybe I’m too much. Maybe there’s something wrong with me? Those thoughts are what create the emotional storm. Not them. When we pause and notice that, something powerful shifts. We see that peace isn’t lost, it’s just buried under a whole lot of thought. No one can “drive us crazy” without our mental participation. The moment we take our attention off trying to manage another person and turn it toward regulating our own state, love stops feeling like survival. We return to ourselves. And from that steadiness, we can actually see them clearly again. What changes when you stop needing them to calm down, and start becoming calm yourself? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Every Accident Is a Mirror
Potty training a new puppy has a way of showing you parts of yourself you thought you’d already “worked through.” One minute you’re cooing, “Good boy!” Next, you’re scrubbing the carpet, muttering things you wouldn’t say in church. It’s wild how fast peace can disappear over something so small. A puddle on the floor becomes a mirror for every part of you that still wants life to behave. What’s really happening is that the situation is mirroring how your mind handles unpredictability and unmet expectations. It’s not about the puppy, it’s about your nervous system’s relationship with control. You tell yourself, “He should know better.” But he doesn’t. He’s learning. Slowly. Sloppily. Just like you did. And maybe that’s the real point. The puppy isn’t testing you, he’s training you. Training you to pause before reacting. Training you to regulate your emotions. Training you to breathe before you project. Training you to remember that calm teaches better than control ever could. It’s not about the mess. It’s about meeting the moment without losing yourself in it. When something small sets you off, what is it really touching in you, your patience, your need for control, or your story about how things “should” be? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s Never About The Poop
It happened on an ordinary morning. Coffee in one hand, earbuds in, brain already halfway through the day. Then came the sound, an unmistakable squish. You look down. Dog poop. The reaction is instant. “Are you kidding me?” Your shoulders tense. Your face twists. A rush of irritation hits before a single thought even forms. Then the thought shows up: People are disgusting. Why can’t anyone clean up after their dog? They shouldn’t own a dog! Now the anger has somewhere to land. You imagine the careless owner walking away and carrying that irritation into the rest of your morning. A few steps later, the mind adds another layer: Of course this would happen to me. Now it’s not about the poop, it’s about your luck, your day, your life. One messy moment becomes proof that life is unfair. Until you catch your reflection in a storefront window. Shoe in one hand, napkin in the other, muttering under your breath like a detective at a crime scene. You laugh. The humor disarms the frustration instantly. That’s when a quieter truth cuts through: It’s just life. Sometimes it’s clean. Sometimes it’s messy. You find a patch of grass, clean off your shoe, and keep walking. By the next block, something inside you shifts. Nothing outside changed. Only the story did. Disgust created tension. Blame created anger. Self-pity created heaviness. Humor created relief. Awareness created peace. Same sidewalk. Different thoughts. Different experiences. It’s funny how quickly the mind can turn an ordinary moment into either a storm or a simple story. When life gets messy (it will), are we reacting to what happened, or to the meaning we gave it? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Power of Attention – What You Invest In Grows
Paying attention is like buying stock. Whatever we focus on, we’re investing in. When we dwell on our desires, we buy stock in them. When we dwell on our miseries, we buy stock there. Every thought, feeling, or focus point compounds over time, showing up as the life we live. Most of us drift through the day like distracted puppies, reacting to whatever stimulus grabs us. It’s almost as if we were taught that attention is uncontrollable, something life pulls from us rather than something we can direct. Focus is power. The most peaceful, grounded people choose what they give their attention to. They pick a few priorities and stay with them. When we truly understand how short life is, focus sharpens. Mortality clarifies what matters most. Don’t wait for a crisis to see clearly, choose it now. What are you proud of? What fills your hearts with joy? What choices bring peace, fulfillment, and meaning? Those are our real investments. We often chase distractions, new ideas, and surface goals, mistaking movement for meaning. Even when it comes to money, what we often want isn’t the number itself, it’s the feeling we think it will give us. People say they want a million dollars, but what they truly want is relief. It’s not the money they crave; it’s the peace they imagine comes with it. But peace isn’t in anything outside of us. The same pattern drives most human desires. We chase external fixes for internal feelings. When we realize peace, safety, and enoughness are internal states, not outcomes, we stop outsourcing our emotional life to things, people, or paychecks. Attention works the same way. Where our focus goes, our experience grows. Choose carefully what you buy stock in. Your peace depends on it. What have you been non-consciously “buying stock” in lately, and is it something you want more of instead? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Stories That Run Our Life
We don’t see life as it is. We see it through the stories our minds have been rehearsing for years. We think we’re reacting to our partner, our job, or our past, but we’re mostly reacting to the meaning our mind keeps adding. “She didn’t text back” becomes “She doesn’t care about me.” “He interrupted me” becomes “I’m not respected.” Same event, different story. These stories run quietly in the background, shaping our emotions before we even realize what’s happening. We’ll know we’ve found a story we are stuck in when the same feeling follows us into different rooms. Different person, same sting. That’s not a coincidence, that’s a script. Here’s the practice: When something/someone triggers us, we can pause and ask, “What did I just make this mean?” We start to hear and become aware of the narrator that’s been running our show. And once we see the story, we don’t have to live inside it anymore. What story have we been letting steer our reactions lately, and are we ready to question it? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Need for Control Is Disguised Fear
Control feels powerful, but it’s really fear in costume. We control because we don’t trust life, or ourselves, to handle what might happen next. Sometimes control doesn’t look like control. It looks like double-checking, overexplaining, rescuing, interrupting silence, or rehearsing how things should go. It looks like tension disguised as “just being prepared.” We manage others’ emotions, overthink conversations, and plan every possible outcome, hoping to avoid pain. Yet the more we grip, the more anxious we become. Control promises safety and delivers exhaustion, burn out and health problems long term. Peace isn’t found in getting everything right. It’s found in remembering you’ll still be okay even if you don’t. Letting go isn’t passive, it’s an act of courage. It says, I can meet life as it comes. That’s real courage and power, the kind that doesn’t expect certain outcomes. Where are you mistaking control for safety, and what might trusting yourself instead look like? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Borrowed Happiness Trap
It sounds logical. “I’ll be happy when my manager respects me.” “When my husband changes.” “When my wife appreciates me more.” “When my daughter listens to me.” But those thoughts quietly hand your peace to someone else. When happiness depends on another person’s behavior, it becomes unpredictable. Because you didn’t create it, you can’t sustain it. Even when they change, part of you stays on guard, scanning for the moment they might go back. That’s why “They finally changed, and now I can relax” rarely lasts. The mind that believes happiness comes from others is the same mind that doubts it will stay. Real happiness doesn’t live in someone’s habits; it lives in your perspective. It’s not about what they do. It’s about what you BELIEVE you need them to do in order to feel safe. When you stop outsourcing joy, life becomes steadier. Your nervous system no longer waits for someone else’s consistency, it begins trusting your own. That’s where the real work begins. What emotion are you still waiting for someone else to give you? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Lost Art of Imagination
If you walked into a kindergarten classroom and asked, “Who here is a good artist?” every hand would shoot up. Ask the same question to thirty adults in a corporate room, and MAYBE, just maybe, one hand would lift halfway before retreating in embarrassment. The rest would glance down, point to someone else, or quietly hope you’d move on. Somewhere between finger paints and paychecks, something changed. As kids, we built whole worlds from nothing, sandcastles, rocket ships, kingdoms made of dirt. Whatever we had, we turned it into magic. Then we grew up. We stopped using imagination to create and started using it to catastrophize. The same mind that once dreamed up dragons now dreams up disaster. Worry is simply imagination working against peace. A meaningful, fulfilling life requires imagination, the willingness to see potential where others see limits. When fear takes the driver’s seat, life stops feeling creative and starts feeling like survival. The truth is, we never stopped being artists. We just forgot how to use our imagination for good. Every time you imagine a kinder response, a gentler tone, or a possibility beyond your old pattern, you’re painting again. You’re creating. Flip the switch back. Use your imagination to add color and richness to your life. Use it to build, not break. Create a life you don’t need to escape from, and mornings you can’t wait to wake up to. Where in your life have you been using imagination against yourself instead of for yourself? Read the full version Go to Blog >The Lost Art of Imagination Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
What Comes Out When You’re Squeezed?
When you squeeze an orange, what comes out? Orange juice. Always. No matter who squeezes it or how much pressure they use, what’s inside comes out. Same with us. Pressure doesn’t create our reactions, it reveals them. When life squeezes you through stress, conflict, or criticism, whatever spills out (anger, patience, resentment, compassion) was already inside. The moment you stop blaming the squeeze, you start leading and regulating your own emotional state. Peace doesn’t come from controlling the pressure, it comes from changing what is inside of you. When life presses on you, what are you filled with? Next time you feel the squeeze, pause and ask: is this who I want to be when pressed? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Illusion of Fixing for Happiness
We all want people to change sometimes. A partner to listen better. A child to study harder. A friend to drink less. And when they don’t, it’s tempting to believe the answer is to tell them what’s wrong. To point it out. To fix it. The worst way to inspire change is by making someone feel wrong. Tell someone they drink too much, and they’ll pour another. Tell them they never listen, and they’ll stop listening altogether. Tell them to calm down, and they’ll only get louder. It’s not rebellion. It’s human nature. When people feel judged, they protect their sense of rightness. They armor up instead of opening up. Even when someone does change because of pressure, notice what happens next. You might think you’ll finally be happy once they do, but that relief doesn’t last. Because the moment your happiness depends on someone else’s behavior, you’ve handed them the keys to your peace. Maybe they soften, improve, or quit the habit, but a new worry creeps in. Will it last? Now your peace depends not only on their behavior but on your faith in its permanence. That’s not love. That’s dependency disguised as care. Real steadiness begins when you take back authorship of your OWN emotions. When you bring happiness with you into every room, every relationship, every conversation. Happiness that depends on others will always feel fragile. Happiness that comes from within feels unshakeable. True change doesn’t happen through correction. It happens through shared vision, two people each bringing their best, each owning their moods, each leading themselves first. Change does not from making someone wrong. The illusion of fixing for happiness keeps relationships tense. Where in your life are you still waiting for someone else to change before you allow yourself to feel at peace? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Habit of Reacting
We think stress comes from circumstances. Deadlines, traffic, other people. But it’s often the habit of reacting that keeps life feeling hard. You wake up and check the news. Something stirs. Then traffic, messages, tone of voice, each one a spark that lights your nervous system on fire. You tell yourself, “I’m just responding to what’s happening.” But what’s really happening is thought. Interpretations, predictions, judgments. The body doesn’t know the difference. It follows wherever the mind goes. Two people can live the same day. One spirals. One breathes. The difference isn’t the day. It’s the awareness and self regulation behind it. Reactivity feels automatic only because it’s practiced. (habit) The moment you see the pattern, you’re no longer caught in it. Peace isn’t waiting for the world to slow down. It’s what shows up when you do. Where might you be reacting out of habit instead of responding with awareness? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Story That Stops Growth
“People don’t change.” It sounds harmless, like wisdom from experience. But it quietly becomes a prison. When you decide someone or generalize that people do not change, your mind stops looking for evidence that they can. You stop listening. You stop being curious. You start seeing patterns. You stop seeing possibilities. You stop noticing small shifts. You start defending your beliefs. You start collecting proof for the old story. You start protecting your opinion. And here’s the twist, that story doesn’t just trap them. It traps you too. Because the same belief that says they can’t grow whispers you can’t either. So every time you say, “They’ll never change,” notice what happens in your body. You tense, close off, and predict the past all over again. People do change, I see it every day, often quietly, often slowly over time, consistency, importance and persistence. Sometimes the only thing that needs to shift first is your willingness to see it. When you release your grip on the old story, you give both of you room to evolve. Your thoughts, beliefs and language impact your perception and limit your growth. Who might you see differently if you stopped looking through old evidence? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Forgotten Medicine of Laughter
We stopped laughing, and somewhere in the journey of life, we started taking everything too seriously. You see it everywhere, in workplaces, relationships, even hobbies. We’ve turned joy into a weekend privilege, as if fun needs to earn its place on the calendar. Somewhere along the way, we confused serious with significant. We learned to white-knuckle through the day, promising ourselves we’d laugh “later” once things calm down, once we achieve more, once we’ve earned it. But later is an illusion. Later isn’t promised. Connection can’t wait for someday, because laughter is connection. It’s the shortest distance between two people. It’s what keeps creativity alive, relationships warm, and motivation sustainable. Think about it, the people you most look forward to seeing are the ones who make you laugh. They don’t need a script or system for connection. The connection is laughter. If building a relationship isn’t fun, you’re doing it wrong. If growing your career feels like punishment instead of purpose, you’re doing it wrong. “If building a family feels like survival instead of joy, you’re doing it wrong. (I help clients shift these) Fun isn’t childish. It’s fuel. Laughter creates safety. Humor builds trust. Shared amusement repairs tension faster than logic ever could. We stopped laughing, we stopped living. Bring it back. Bring yourself back. Where have you forgotten to bring laughter into your life, and what might shift if you did? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Problem-Solving Habit
The same mindset that helps you succeed in high-demand environments can quietly damage connection at home. When your brain is trained to look for problems, it keeps looking, long after you’ve left work for problems at home. Many people live in constant problem-solving mode. It’s how they’ve built their careers and earned respect. They anticipate issues before they happen, spot gaps before others do, and fix them fast. That’s useful in leadership. But at home, it often backfires. Without realizing it, they start scanning for flaws in tone, timing, or text messages. They replay small moments, searching for what’s “off.” What once made them reliable at work now makes them tense in love. They think they’re protecting the relationship by staying alert. In truth, they’re keeping their nervous system on call. The body never gets the message that it’s safe to rest. And connection can’t grow where safety never lands. The shift begins when you stop trying to manage peace and start feeling it, inside out and leading by example (Self-leadership). When you realize your partner isn’t a problem to solve, or a science project, they become a person to connect with. Where in your life are you still scanning for problems that no longer need solving? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Rudeness Reflex
Ever notice how fast your mind jumps in when someone’s tone feels sharp? “They’re always rude.” “I can’t let people talk to me like that.” “I would never speak to anyone like that!” In a flash, your body tenses, your chest tightens, and you start rehearsing a comeback in your head. It feels and seems like you’re reacting to them, their words, their attitude, their disrespect. But really, you’re reacting to your thinking about what their words mean. (personalizing) Your mind interprets tone as threat. It floods you with old memories of not being heard, respected, or valued. And suddenly, a simple sentence feels personal. The truth? Someone else might hear the same tone and shrug, “They must be having a rough day.” Another might not even notice. Same words, same person, three completely different experiences. Peace isn’t found in controlling how others speak. Peace isn’t found in making everyone conform to your rules, demands, your manners or expectations. Peace is found in seeing your thoughts before they take over. Once you see that tone doesn’t cause tension, your interpretation does, you stop taking the bait. Where in your life are you trying to control tone instead of tending to your own tension? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Automatic Reaction Trap
The truth is, reactivity is rarely conscious. It’s easy to come home at night and vent for hours about how your boss, manager, or colleague drives you crazy. Before long, that habit of reacting can become addictive, an emotional loop that keeps you in victim mode. It feels like you’re letting off steam, but you’re actually reinforcing it. Repeating the story programs your brain to meet the next day with the same old irritation. The mind says, “They’re impossible.” The body tenses. The story repeats. And without realizing it, the reaction becomes familiar, even comforting. The hit of adrenaline and oxytocin makes it intoxicating. It feels like processing, but it quietly chips away at your peace and leaves you powerless. Three people can have the same boss. One resents every word they say and feels trapped. One adapts. Another thinks, “This will make me better.” The difference isn’t the person you’re reacting to. It’s whether you see the reaction as yours. Reactivity feels automatic because awareness has drifted into autopilot. But the moment you notice your pattern, you have a choice again. You don’t have to like every person you work with to choose peace within yourself. When you trade judgment for curiosity, something shifts. “What makes them tick?” opens more doors than “They’re the problem.” Emotional leadership begins the moment you stop feeding the story and start observing it. Where do you keep looping the problem instead of leading yourself through it? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When Life Hits the Brakes
It happens in a flash. A car stops suddenly, your reflexes kick in too late, and before you know it.. impact. Metal meets metal. Then silence. Then comes the storm, thoughts racing, heart pounding. “It wasn’t my fault.” “They slammed their brakes for no reason.” “There was nothing I could’ve done.” “They came out of nowhere.” “Anyone would’ve hit them.” Truth is, you weren’t fully present either. You were driving the way most of us live, half here, half somewhere else. Mind busy, body functioning, awareness dimmed. Autopilot on. That’s how most collisions happen, both on the road and in relationships. We drift. We assume. We stop seeing what’s right in front of us until something jolts us awake. It’s not about blame, it’s about awareness. Autopilot is comfortable, but it’s also costly. Presence asks more of us, but it saves us from replaying the same crash again and again. Sometimes the wake-up call is loud. Sometimes it’s subtle. Either way, it’s life’s way of saying, “Come back. Pay attention.” Where in your life have you been coasting on autopilot instead of being fully awake at the wheel? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Quiet Distance
You can live in the same house and still feel worlds apart. It’s not the lack of time together that causes pain, it’s the story your mind tells about what that means. “They don’t care.” “I’m the only one trying.” “They’d rather be alone.” When we love through expectation, our mind makes rules that the other person never agreed to. And when those rules aren’t met, we start interpreting distance as disinterest. What if this isn’t rejection at all? What if it’s two separate people that understand connection in different ways, one through closeness, the other through space? Connection begins the moment curiosity becomes more important than being understood. The curious question: What does togetherness feel like to you? Invites understanding instead of defense or demanding love to be a certain way. And from there, connection has a chance to grow naturally, not through pressure. Closeness doesn’t come from the number of hours spent side by side. It comes from the quality of presence you bring when you’re together. What might change if you stopped fighting to be understood, and started listening to understand? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Jab That Stings
Ever had someone talk down to you like you were the problem? A little jab, a condescending tone, or a dismissive shrug, and suddenly your chest tightens, your energy shifts, and you’re halfway through a mental courtroom argument. You think you’re reacting to their words. But really, you’re reacting to the meaning you gave them. The mind loves to turn moments like that into identity tests. “They don’t respect me.” “I should’ve said something.” “I’ll prove them wrong next time.” “They’re an idiot and wrong.” Your mind wants control. Your body wants peace. The truth is, one person can hear the same comment and laugh it off. Another will spiral for hours replaying every detail. A third will take a breath, remember who they are, and move on with calm. Same jab. Three completely different experiences. It’s never the jab itself. It’s the story the mind tells about what it means. When you stop fighting for your worth inside someone else’s noise, you return to your own power. Your worth, your value, your confidence do not live in other people’s opinions of you. Chasing validation, acceptance, or respect from others is a guaranteed path to exhaustion. You can respond clearly, or not at all. Either way, your peace stays yours. You don’t find calm by avoiding rude people. You find it by understanding where your feelings come from, your own thoughts, awareness, and self-trust. That is the good news. It is something you can strengthen. When someone talks down to you, what story does your mind start telling, and what happens if you meet it with unshakable self-confidence? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
“Too Old” Is Just a Thought
Ever notice how one random thought can age you ten years? You see someone younger doing something bold, and before you know it, your mind whispers, “I can’t pull that off anymore.” Your shoulders drop, your energy shifts, and suddenly you feel old. The truth: nothing outside of you changed. The number didn’t. The day didn’t. Only a thought and what you’re focused on did. The mind is sneaky like that. It tosses out a sentence like, “You’re too old for that,” and your body believes it. Energy dips. Your mode drops. Motivation fades. You start living as if that single thought were fact. But what if it’s not? What if “too old” is just another story the brain tells to keep you safe and predictable? Someone else your age might think, “I finally know who I am, now I can actually start.” Same age, same body, completely different reality. You’re not reacting to years. You’re reacting to meaning. And meaning is optional. So next time your mind says, “I’m too old,” pause and notice it. Then turn your focus to three things age has given you: wisdom earned, memories made, lessons learned. That’s where your real youth lives: in the richness of perspective that only time could teach. Because age doesn’t steal possibility. Thought does. What’s one thing you’re wiser, braver, or freer to do now because of your years? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When You Keep Checking In
We don’t seek reassurance because something’s wrong. We seek it because our mind says something is wrong. You send the text: “Are you okay?” “What are you thinking about?” “Did I do something wrong?” “Where are you? What are you doing?” You tell yourself it’s care, but underneath, it’s anxiety dressed as connection. You’re not reading them, you’re reading your thoughts about them. When they are quiet, your mind fills in the blanks: They’re upset. They’ve lost interest. I must have said something wrong. They are hiding something. They are with someone else. One person thinks, “They’re pulling away.” Another thinks, “They might just need quiet to reset.” A third thinks, “Their silence isn’t about me, I give them space.” Someone else thinks, “They’ll talk when they’re ready, I’m okay in the meantime.” Same silence. Different stories. Same event, different worlds. It’s not the lack of response that creates the panic. It’s the story line our mind plays when space shows up. When the mind quiets, you remember that silence isn’t rejection, it’s just silence. And peace doesn’t come from their reply; it comes from your own steadiness. Connection can’t breathe when it’s being monitored and analyzed. Sometimes love means letting the space exist without trying to fill it. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When Food Becomes the Fight
We don’t clash over food, we clash over meaning. One person sees food as fuel, numbers, and control. The other sees food as comfort, connection, and joy. Same plate. Two realities. You sit down to eat, and the quiet tension builds. One tracks macros. The other savors dessert. And somehow, both leave the table feeling judged. You think it’s about what’s on the plate, but it’s really about what each mind makes it mean. “Why can’t they just enjoy life?” “Why can’t they stop using food as a hobby?” Neither wrong. Neither is better. Just different. The disciplined one feels safe through structure. The relaxed one feels safe through freedom. Both are seeking peace, just in opposite directions. The moment you believe your way is the right way, connection breaks. Because it’s not the salad or the slice of cake that creates distance, it’s the story that says, “If they loved me, they’d eat like me, and support how I eat.” When your mind softens, you see that it’s never been about food. It’s about identity, control, and belonging. When those quiet down, dinner becomes what it was meant to be, shared time, not shared rules. You don’t have to agree on what’s on the plate to feel nourished by who’s at the table. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When Your Effort Feels Unappreciated
We don’t get hurt by what someone does or doesn’t do. We get hurt by what we think it means. You ask if your partner wants to celebrate their birthday. They say no. But you plan something anyway, because you “care,” because you’re a “party planner,” because you’d want it done for you, because it feels wrong not to try. You book dinner reservations, invite friends and family, imagine the surprise, the smile, the gratitude. The night of the dinner party, they decline going out and remind you they said to do nothing. Cue the inner commentary: They don’t value me. I’m pouring into the wrong person. They never put in the same effort I do. If they really loved me, they’d want to celebrate with me. I guess I’m the only one keeping this relationship alive. That story feels real because it mirrors what we fear most, that our love doesn’t matter. Pause. Same situation, four minds: The hurt one says, “They’re so inconsiderate, after everything I did?” The reasonable one says, “They probably just wanted a quiet night and didn’t know how to say it.” The grounded one says, “They’re not trying to hurt me; they’re trying to manage themselves.” The honest one admits, “They said what they needed, and I overrode it because I wanted connection.” Same facts. Different thoughts. Different energy. It’s not the birthday plans or the canceled dinner causing pain. It’s the meaning the mind thinks, believes, and grabs onto, rejection, neglect, invisibility. Meaning is always optional. When the mind settles, a new space opens. You can see: I wanted to connect. They wanted to decompress. Both can be true without either person being the villain. The shift isn’t about caring less. It’s about caring cleanly. It’s about operating from partnership. When you lead with peace instead of proving your worth, you stop trying to earn appreciation, stop overperforming, and start giving from alignment and seeking to understand. Because when we override people, that’s exhausting and destructive to the goodwill in the relationship. Love is felt most when it’s offered freely, not performed for approval. The moment you stop chasing appreciation, love starts breathing again. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
We don’t feel reality. We feel our version of it.
Ever notice how two people can look at the same beat-up old car and see completely different things? One person says, “A Classic! It just needs a little love and TLC.” Another says, “That thing’s a money pit on wheels.” Someone else says, “Perfect for my teenager to destroy.” And then there’s the one who mutters, “That’s not a car, that’s a tetanus shot waiting to happen.” You might think you’re reacting to the car itself, the rust, the smell, the cracked dashboard. Each person is reacting to what they think this car means. “Smells like my teenage years and bad decisions.” “Sentimental memories of my dad teaching me to drive.” “Could flip it for double if I just clean it up.” “Another project that’ll drain the bank account.” “Man, if that thing could talk, I bet it has some stores!” Same car. Different thoughts. Completely different energy. It’s not the dents or the dust that make you emotional, it’s the story you attach to the moment. Your mind creates the meaning, and that meaning creates your mood. When you remember that, you get your power back. You stop trying to fix the world’s rust and start tending to the story in your own head. Because clarity isn’t found in polishing the car, it’s found in seeing how your thinking colored it in the first place. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Story We Tell Ourselves at 2 a.m.
Ever notice how your mind can turn into a full-blown detective agency at night? You’ve got screenshots open, zooming in on blurry photos, connecting dots that might not even exist. You think you’re reacting to them, the lies, the photos, the distance. But really, you’re reacting to your thinking about them. Two people could live the same weekend. One says, “They’re clearly hiding something.” Another says, “They probably made dumb choices, I hope it was worth the hangover.” A third says, “I’ll talk to them in the morning when my head’s clear.” Same facts. Different thoughts. Different energy. It’s not the photos making your stomach drop, it’s the movie your mind plays about what they mean. The more you fill the gaps with fear, the more the fear feels real. Our emotions come from the story we’re in, not the situation itself. Not from them either, although we are conditioned to think so. The energy you lead with, whether anxious, calm, accusatory, or open, is what gets reflected back to you. When your mind settles, clarity shows up. From that space, you respond, not react. Relationships don’t grow through control, they grow through safety, curiosity, and truth. It’s not about pretending it’s fine. It’s about learning to regulate your own storm so connection has a chance to land. Because the mind that creates chaos can’t be the one that restores peace. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Same Rink, Different Reality
Ever gone somewhere fun, like a concert, a roller rink, gym, or a beach day, and just… didn’t feel it? Then gone again with the right people and had the time of your life? Same place. Same lights. Same playlist. A totally different experience. When you go alone, the mental noise can start up fast: “Everyone’s looking at me.” “I should be having fun.” “This is kind of awkward.” “Am I doing this right?” That inner commentary kills presence faster than bad skates on sticky floors. Now picture going with friends who are laughing, falling, and not caring. You stop thinking about yourself. You just feel, light, connected, alive, in the moment. The rink didn’t change. The lights didn’t get brighter. Your state of mind did. It’s not the people that make it better. It’s the quiet mind their presence invites. You feel more alive because your thinking settles and you reconnect with the natural joy that was always within you. So next time something feels flat or “off,” remember that peace and fun aren’t found in better circumstances. They show up when your mind does. It was never about the rink. It was about what was playing between your ears. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Proof That It’s Never About the Text
Ever notice how humans can turn a totally normal moment into a mini emotional crisis? Take the classic delayed text. You send one. Hours pass. Nothing. At first, it’s fine. Then the mind starts narrating. “Did I say something wrong?” “They must be losing interest.” “Why does this always happen to me?” By the time your phone finally buzzes, you’ve lived through five breakups, two therapy sessions, and a dramatic monologue in the shower. Here’s what actually happened: someone didn’t text back right away. That’s it. Facts. Everything else was thought. Three people could experience the same delay and feel completely different: One shrugs and moves on. One spirals into self-doubt. One gets mad and blocks them. The situation didn’t change. The thinking did. That’s the inside-out nature of life. Our feelings come from thought in the moment, not from the world around us. When you start to see this, peace stops being conditional or earned. You no longer need everyone to behave, reply, or understand you before you can feel okay. The freedom isn’t in controlling life, it’s in seeing through the noise your mind adds to it. Because peace isn’t out there waiting to be earned. It’s right here, underneath the commentary in your mind. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Real Reason You’re Not Hearing "You Look Amazing"
You’ve been hitting the gym, eating well, feeling more confident than you have in years. You walk past your partner waiting for the compliment, “Wow, you look amazing.” Instead… nothing. Crickets. Maybe a casual: “Hey, what’s for dinner?” Instant thought spiral: “They don’t find me attractive.” “They compliment everyone but me.” “I shouldn’t have to ask.” The sting isn’t from silence, or from their words or lack of words, it’s from the story your mind built around it. Here’s the curveball: They are not the cause of that feeling. Your thinking is. If you took that same moment and thought, “They are distracted. They are not tuned in right now. That’s fine, I feel great, that’s why I take care of myself..” your experience would be completely different. Same partner. Same silence/words. New thought. New feeling. That’s the inside-out nature of life. Our feelings don’t come from people, or their words, or their lack of them. They come from thought, fresh, moment-to-moment. Expecting someone to make us feel sexy, or confident is setting yourself up for misery. Your feelings are for you to manage, not to expect others to nurture and validate. When you see this, you stop waiting for validation and start living from it. And funny enough, when you’re no longer fishing for the compliment, it often shows up naturally. Because nothing’s more magnetic than peace. Compliments do not come from pressure, demands or expectations.. These will not feel genuine. (If this hit a nerve, you might love exploring how thought creates feeling, this is the foundation of self-leadership and real connection.) Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It Was Never About the Brownie
Ever had an argument that made zero sense once you replayed it later? This one started over a brownie. Two people. One pan. One “should.” She takes a piece, but can't finish it. It's too sweet and rich. He says, “You should’ve taken a smaller one.” Instant tension. Cue: the inner dialogue. “Why does he care what I eat?” “Why is he always criticizing me?” “It’s a brownie, not a crime scene!” Defensiveness activated. Heart rate up. Logic down. Now it’s not about dessert, it’s about being seen, respected, understood. It feels like the frustration came from what he said. But it didn’t. It came from the thought about what he said. Because if that same comment landed on a different day, after good sleep, good mood, good weather, it might’ve rolled right off. Same words. Same brownies. Different thoughts, equals a different feeling. That’s how life works. Not outside-in (they said → I feel). The truth is inside-out (I think → I feel). When you see this, defensiveness loses its grip. You realize peace isn’t earned through being right, it’s found in seeing thought for what it is. It’s rarely about the brownie. It’s always about the story that takes over the moment. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s Not the Task, It’s the Thought
Ever stared at a box of IKEA furniture and felt your soul quietly pack its bags? You haven’t even opened the instructions yet, but the dread’s already moving in. “This will be awful. I’m bad at this. I’ll mess it up. There will be pieces missing. I’ll end up crying next to a half-built nightstand.” You sit there, staring at the pile of parts and cryptic diagrams, and suddenly it’s not about furniture anymore, it’s about whether you’re the kind of person who can handle life. Hours pass. The box remains sealed. You walk by it like it’s an ex you’re avoiding, pretending not to make eye contact while it whispers, “Still scared of me, huh?” And you think: Maybe tomorrow. Maybe when I’m in a better mood. Maybe after coffee. Here’s what’s wild: nothing’s actually happened. The misery exists only in thought. You’ve imagined the pain and believed it’s real enough to stop you. Then, someone else walks in. “Oh, I love building this stuff!” Same box. Same tools. Completely different emotional experience. Why? Because their thinking about it is different. It’s not the situation (the box) creating your frustration, it’s the thought you’re believing about it in the moment. We don’t feel life itself, we feel our thoughts about life. And those thoughts change, like clouds moving across the sky, when you stop gripping them as truth. Next time you’re stuck overthinking the “assembly” of something in your life, remember: it’s not the task that’s hard. It’s the story you’re believing about it. Once you see that, even IKEA becomes just a pile of boards waiting for your calm, creative, open, curious mind to bring them together. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When the Dishwasher Starts a Fight
Ever started an argument that made no sense once everyone cooled off? It usually begins with something small. “Could you maybe load the dishwasher next time?” One person thinks they’re being calm. The other hears, “You’re lazy and I resent you.” Five minutes later, it’s a full-blown debate about who does more around the house. Here’s the thing: the words aren’t the real problem. The thinking behind them is. One person’s tired, so they read silence as attitude. The other’s stressed, so they hear a question as blame. No one’s reacting to reality, they’re reacting to their own thoughts about it. That’s the illusion we all fall for. We think people make us feel happy, angry, hurt, or disrespected. But it’s never their tone or behavior, it’s the meaning our mind attaches in the moment. Same situation. Two minds. Two movies. When understanding where your feelings truly come from, when it clicks, life gets lighter. You stop trying to win and start noticing the story running the show. You pause before taking offense, realizing the real conflict isn’t between two people, it’s between two interpretations. Peace doesn’t come from perfect communication. It comes from remembering where feelings actually come from. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Stop Handing Away Your Peace
Picture this: You’re driving to work, coffee in hand, music on, feeling decent about life…then someone cuts you off. Instantly, your blood pressure spikes. You rehearse a full TED Talk in your head about basic driving etiquette. Meanwhile, another driver who saw the same thing? Shrugs, turns up the radio, keeps singing. Same event. Two completely different realities. That’s the thing, peace isn’t stolen. It’s traded away the moment we believe our emotions come from them instead of our thinking about them. We live like our peace depends on perfect conditions—one wrong move and the temperature drops. “They ignored my text, now I’m anxious.” “He disagreed with me, now I’m angry.” “She complimented me, now I’m confident.” But what if the world isn’t controlling your peace at all? What if it’s just reflecting the quality of the thoughts you’re tuned into right now? Inside your mind is the switch. You either hand it to the world, or you keep it. When you stop outsourcing your mood to other people’s behavior, traffic jams, or text replies, you become unshakable. Next time someone cuts you off, on the road or in life, try this: notice your thought, smile at how real it feels, and remember… the moment you see it’s just a thought, you get your peace back. That’s the power of inside-out living. It’s not about controlling life, it’s about remembering where your experience actually comes from. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Emotional Needs Don’t Mean Emotional Dependency
Ever caught yourself thinking, “I just need them to meet my needs”? Let’s take a familiar scene. You’ve had a long day. You want your partner to notice you’re tired and offer a hug. Instead, they scroll TikTok. Cue the mental spiral: “They don’t care.” “I always give more.” “I have needs too.” Now you’re angry, distant, maybe even Googling “emotional neglect.” Here’s the kicker: if your peace really depended on someone else’s behavior, you’d only ever feel good when everyone else behaved perfectly. (So basically… never.) Two people could live the same moment: One feels rejected. One thinks, “They’re zoned out. I’ll make tea.” Another laughs and joins them on the couch. Same situation. Different realities. The difference isn’t who they’re with, it’s what they’re thinking in that moment. Your feelings don’t come from what others do or don’t do. They come from the thoughts you’re believing in that moment. When you understand, “I have needs” starts to look different. It’s not about demanding or controlling someone else, it’s about noticing what you’re really craving (comfort, safety, connection) and learning how to give that to yourself. That’s emotional maturity. No one can regulate your emotions for you. They are your responsibility no one else’s. You can still ask for what you want, but without making your peace depend on their response. The moment you stop outsourcing your okayness, you stop riding the emotional rollercoaster of who texted back, who didn’t notice, or who didn’t meet your expectations. Peace has always been an inside job. That’s the kind of freedom coaching opens up, where you can care deeply without losing yourself in the process. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your Reaction Says More Than Their Action
You open the fridge after a long day, dreaming of leftovers. They’re gone. Your partner (or roommate) ate them. Instant fury. “Unbelievable. I told them I was saving that.” Now you’re standing there, fridge light glowing like an interrogation lamp, replaying the crime scene in your mind. But pause for a second. If half a container of cold pad thai truly had the power to ruin your night, it would ruin everyone’s night. If what someone else does has the power to make you mad, you’re no longer owning your emotions, you’re handing them over to them. Yet some people laugh, make toast, and move on. Same event. Different realities. Because it’s not the missing food, or your partner/roommate's actions, it’s the meaning your mind attaches to it. “Disrespect.” “Selfishness.” “I can’t have anything to myself.” Each thought pulls a new emotion to the surface. Here’s the choice: you can stay inside the story, or step back and see it for what it is, a thought, stories and rules that are generating that feeling inside you, it’s inside out, not outside in. Peace doesn’t come from perfect behavior or shared leftovers. It comes from noticing the story before it runs the show. It’s having the emotional awareness to dictate how you want to feel from the inside out, not outside in. That’s the moment your brain shifts from defense to direction. That’s when your nervous system learns: you’re not reacting to the world, you’re leading yourself through it. That's self-leadership in real life. Self-leadership is what I teach in my coaching practice. Don’t hand your inner calm to whoever opens the fridge next. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
“Work is killing me.”
I’ve heard it. I’ve said it. Like that one week when my inbox looked like a war zone, deadlines were breeding overnight, and my boss’s “quick questions” felt like surprise pop quizzes. By Thursday, I was saying it out loud: “This job is literally killing me.” But then something funny happened. That same day, my coworker, same boss, same workload, was calm, sipping coffee, laughing at cat memes. Same job. Different worlds. It’s the thinking about the job that feels heavy. But we don’t. Because it’s not the job doing the killing. It’s the thinking about the job that feels heavy. When we get caught up in thoughts like “I can’t keep up,” “I have no control,” or “I’ll never get it all done,” our nervous system follows our mind, tight chest, clenched jaw, pure survival mode. When we stop feeding those thoughts, even briefly, something opens up. Emails are still there. Meetings still happen. But we’re steadier. It’s easier to breathe again. Here’s the truth: Work can’t crawl out of your laptop and stress you. You feel your thinking about work in the moment. Once you see that, you realize stress doesn’t prove you’re trapped. It proves you’re believing a thought. Freedom isn’t found in quitting your job, it’s in no longer mistaking your thoughts for facts. Notice when your stress rises today. Then ask, “What am I thinking about work right now?” That’s where real power begins. Know someone who could use this message? Forward or tag them. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
People Aren’t Projects
Ever met a person who just grates on you at work? They interrupt, sigh loudly, or always have that “tone.” You tell yourself, “If they’d just be nicer, I’d finally relax.” So you try to sandpaper them smooth, correct their edges, manage their moods, keep the peace. Except it doesn’t work. Because people aren’t projects, and emotional peace doesn’t come from perfecting others. That’s control disguised as “helping”. What’s funny is, the same “difficult” person can spark totally different reactions: One coworker rolls their eyes and fumes. Another laughs, “That’s just how they are. Someone else doesn’t notice at all. Same person. Different worlds. That’s because it’s never the person causing the feeling, it’s the thought we’re believing about them in the moment. You feel what you think about them. When you see that, the urge to fix, control, or over-explain starts to fade. You stop sanding and you focus back on yourself. When we stop focusing on what bothers us in someone we see their strengths. Peace isn’t earned by managing other people’s rough spots. It’s found in realizing your calm was never hiding in them, it’s been in you all along. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The “Location” Lie
Ever checked someone’s location hoping it would make you feel certain and then realized it didn’t? Cue the movie in your mind: “Why would they lie?” “Who are they with?” “Am I being played?” Your stomach flips, your chest tightens, and boom… you’re spiraling. Here’s the plot twist: the emotion didn’t come from the location. It came from the thought you believed about it. If emotions truly came from what we see, then everyone would feel the same thing looking at that same little blue dot. One person shrugs: “Probably running errands.” Another panics. Someone else laughs: “Probably left their phone in the car.” Same data. Completely different experiences. That means the feeling isn’t stored in the phone, it’s created in the mind. Thought in the moment is the only real source of emotion. This doesn’t make your reaction wrong. It makes it human. We all get caught in the illusion that feelings come from outside us, texts, tone, silence, or a location pin. The moment you see your experience comes through thought, not the world, everything softens. Everything feels lighter, and looks different. You don’t have to change the person or the story. The moment you stop trying to control what’s outside you, peace finds its way back in. Peace isn’t hiding in their GPS signal. It’s in your awareness of thought, right now. Curious what would shift if you stopped searching for certainty outside yourself? Coaching helps you see it, not just agree with it. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Guy Who Flipped You Off Isn’t the Problem
You’re driving. Someone cuts you off, slams their horn, and throws up the middle finger like it’s an Olympic event. Instantly your body reacts. Heat rises. Thoughts fire: What a jerk. Now you’re ranting to your passenger, calling a friend, or later posting online about how “people have lost all decency.” It feels like that guy caused your anger. If that was universally true like gravity, everyone who saw him would feel exactly what you did. They don’t. One shrugs. Another laughs. One grips the wheel. Another flinches. One feels pity. Another thinks, “Rough day, huh?” Another laughs. Someone else thinks, “Glad that’s not my day.” Same event. Different experience. We experience every moment through a filter. Our own thought filter. Emotions don’t come from traffic, drivers, or fingers. They come from thought in the moment. And when we vent, complain, or join someone’s outrage, we unknowingly confirm the lie that our feelings come from the outside-in. We trade our power for agreement. Here’s the truth: no one can hand you a feeling. Not even a guy with road rage and bad aim. The moment you see your experience is inside-out, life gets a lot lighter, no traffic required. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s Not Mom, It’s Your Mind
“My parents make me feel guilty all the time.” That’s a phrase I hear a lot. And I get it, family dynamics can stir things up faster than a Thanksgiving dinner argument about politics. Here’s the thing: your parents don’t actually make you feel guilty. Think about it. Ten people can hear the same comment from Mom: “Oh, you never call anymore.” And each will feel something different: One laughs it off. Another feels guilty. Another rolls their eyes. Another gets angry. Another feels anxious and plans to call. Another feels sad. Another gets defensive. Another feels nothing. Another feels warm. Another feels confused. Same words. Ten completely different experiences. If Mom had the magical power to beam guilt directly into people, everyone would feel the same thing. But they don’t. Here’s what is really happening: you hear her words, then your brain interprets them, and the meaning you attach creates the feeling. Guilt is not in Mom’s voice. It is in the thought you buy into. Debate it: if emotions really came from other people, why don’t you always feel the same way around them? (it’s not universal) Why does the same comment land differently depending on the day, your mood, or what you are already thinking? When we vent or commiserate, others nod along and reinforce the illusion that feelings are outside-in. The truth is they are inside-out, born from the thoughts we believe. This is the majority of my client work is understanding where emotions come from. Here is the good news: with awareness and emotional regulation, you can navigate Mom’s words with ease and even build a healthier relationship with her without her changing. Notice how your feelings shift without anyone else changing. That is freedom. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Labels Build Walls, Not Bridges
We humans love shortcuts. Instead of seeing a person, we slap on a label. Boomer. Millennial. Gen Z. Gen X. Right. Wrong. Notice what it costs. The moment a label lands, curiosity dies. We defend. We judge. We close off. We stop listening. We stop wondering who they are. We stop being open. We hold people in contempt. Labels don’t just describe, they divide. They create higher/lower, better/worse, right/wrong. And once we believe the label explains our feelings, we hand away our freedom. “They’re arrogant, that’s why I feel dismissed.” “She’s sensitive, that’s why I feel cautious.” The label doesn’t make us feel any sort of way. Our own thoughts do. Living in boxes of our own making. Drop the label, and you get yourself back. You see everyone as a human being, not a stereotype. Curiosity returns. Connection becomes possible again. The problem was never them. It was the label. And you don’t have to keep using them. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Online Drama, Inner Peace
Ever been mobbed online, or at least felt like you were? One sarcastic comment, a pile-on of strangers, and suddenly it feels like the whole internet has your name on a dartboard. Your inner commentator pipes up:: “People online are toxic. They’re ruining my life.” That story feels true in the moment. Stress rises, anger builds, maybe you vent to a friend. They nod along, “Yeah, the internet is brutal.” It feels comforting, until it doesn’t. Because the more we believe our peace depends on thousands of faceless people being nice, the more powerless we feel. Powerlessness quickly turns into hopeless, out of control, and soon anxiety and worry start piling on. Here’s the curveball: your emotions aren’t being injected into you through Wi-Fi. If that were true, everyone would react the same way to the same comment. But they don’t. Some laugh it off, some fire back, some don’t even notice, and scroll on by. What actually hurts isn’t the comment, it’s the thought about the comment. Thought is the lens, and feelings show up as whatever the lens is focusing on. Thoughts that they “should” think, believe and act differently. Venting, complaining, commiserating? They seem helpful, but they actually cement the illusion that feelings live “out there.” They don’t. They’re born inside each of us, in real time. Is it really the internet making you anxious, or the story your mind is running? Notice that difference, and you step into freedom. Suddenly life feels lighter, not because people online changed, but because you remembered where your peace actually comes from. (inside our imagination) Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Trap of ‘I Can’t
Ever hear someone say, “I can’t cook”? Usually, it’s not about cooking. It’s about belief. The words “I can’t” do two things at once: 1-They lock the person into a story about what’s possible. 2-They make the feelings that follow (shame, frustration, giving up) feel like they’re coming from reality instead of thought. That’s double trouble. Here’s the truth: no pan of burnt brownies ever climbed out of the oven and sprinkled defeat into someone’s chest. The feeling came from the thought, “I can’t.” We innocently believe our emotions are delivered by circumstances: a bad meal, a bad driver, or a bad moment. That’s why venting and commiserating feels so natural: “Same here, I can’t either!” We innocently reinforce the story, and the feelings grow heavier. If “I can’t” were truly baked into reality, everyone who messed up a meal would feel the same way. They don’t. Some laugh. Some order pizza. Some try again. Same event. Different thought. Different feeling. Emotions don’t come from burnt food or failed attempts. They come from the meaning your mind adds in the moment. Notice the next time you hear yourself say “I can’t.” See if that phrase is limiting you more than the actual skill. That’s where freedom begins. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Creepy or Kind?
Ever noticed how two people can hear the exact same comment and walk away with opposite feelings? Someone hears, “You look different today.” One thinks: Creepy. The other thinks: Kind. Same words. Different worlds. We tend to believe emotions are injected into us by what others say or do. That’s why venting, complaining, or gathering sympathy online feels so natural, common and everyone is doing it, and by doing so we are pointing to the “cause” of our upset. And when others join in, “Yeah, that’s so rude!” it reinforces the illusion that our feelings live outside of us. They do not! That’s impossible. IF emotions really came from comments, everyone would react the same way. Stop and consider how the world would be if we all thought “you look different today” as an insult, demanding, rude, awful, and mean. Yikes right? Emotions aren’t imported from circumstances, or someone’s words. Feelings are created in real time through thought. The person that thinks, then feels. The mind adds meaning, filters it through memory, expectation, bias, and story, and that’s what you feel. Outside-in thinking keeps us powerless, always waiting for people to behave “right” or say the “right things” so we can feel okay. Inside-out truth gives freedom, you don’t need the world to line up perfectly to experience peace. If the comment itself held the emotion, why would one person feel flattered and another creeped out? What’s the cost of your mental wellbeing and happiness when it’s outside of you? Notice this in your own life. See how quickly thought colors your world. The more you catch it, the lighter and freer life feels, not because people change, but because you see where feelings really come from and you’re taking ownership for your experience moment to moment. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Disagreement Doesn’t Equal Disrespect
“Why do you always make me look bad in front of your family?” Ever thought that? Maybe your partner disagreed with your restaurant pick or shot down your idea for a weekend trip while the in-laws nodded along. Cue the flush of embarrassment, the thought: They’re undermining me. Everyone thinks I’m an idiot. It feels like their words caused your feelings. Obvious, right? Except, it isn’t. What actually happened is this: their words hit your ears, and your mind created a story about what it meant. That story “they’re making me look bad” is what fueled the shame, irritation, or anger. If feelings really came from other people, we’d all respond the same way. But notice: sometimes disagreement feels light, even funny. Other times, it feels like betrayal. Same event. Different thought. Still, we vent to friends: “You won’t believe what he did!” They chime in: “Ugh, that’s awful!” Everyone nods, reinforcing the illusion that emotions live outside us. Social media works the same way, commiseration masquerading as connection. Emotions come from thought in the moment, not from others. Debate it with me. If your partner had said the same words but your mind was quiet, would you have felt the sting? Next time you feel yourself thinking “you made me feel…,” pause. Notice that a thought appeared, you believed it, and that belief shaped your reality. That awareness alone lightens the load. Freedom isn’t found in controlling others. It’s found in seeing thought for what it is, temporary, optional, not the boss of you. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The “Ick” is Really About Control
Ever get “the ick”? Not the lighthearted kind from dating shows, but that gut-punch feeling that sneaks in mid-conversation. Your coworker sighs during your story, your partner forgets to text, another co-worker wears socks to work with sandals, you feel it instantly. And it looks and feels like the ick came from them. That’s the trick our minds play. It seems like emotions are injected into us from the outside, by people, circumstances, texts, traffic, politics, you name it. So we vent, complain, and gather commiseration online. “Ugh, can you believe what he said?” “Same! I’d be furious too.” Without meaning to, we reinforce the illusion that our feelings live out there. The truth: the ick is a judgment. And judgment is thought. Your feelings aren’t imported from someone else, they’re generated inside you, in real time, through thought in the moment. Debate it with me: if emotions really came from circumstances, everyone would feel the same thing in the same situation. (universal) Yet one person laughs at the socks-with-sandals guy, another feels disgust, another doesn’t even notice. Same event. Different thought. Different feeling. Here’s the sneaky part: when we believe feelings come from out there, we start trying to control them. “If the world stops being cringey, then I can relax.” “If they would have the fashion sense I do, they would know better!” Mental and emotional freedom doesn’t come from anything outside of you, it comes from seeing through our own thought-created ick. Next time judgment flares, pause. Ask: “What thought am I believing right now?” That noticing opens the door to calm, humor, and choice. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Disagreement Doesn’t Equal Disrespect
“Why do you always make me look bad in front of your family?” Ever thought that? Maybe your partner disagreed with your restaurant pick or shot down your idea for a weekend trip while the in-laws nodded along. Cue the flush of embarrassment, the thought: They’re undermining me. Everyone thinks I’m an idiot. It feels like their words caused your feelings. Obvious, right? Except, it isn’t. What actually happened is this: their words hit your ears, and your mind created a story about what it meant. That story “they’re making me look bad” is what fueled the shame, irritation, or anger. If feelings really came from other people, we’d all respond the same way. But notice: sometimes disagreement feels light, even funny. Other times, it feels like betrayal. Same event. Different thought. Still, we vent to friends: “You won’t believe what he did!” They chime in: “Ugh, that’s awful!” Everyone nods, reinforcing the illusion that emotions live outside us. Social media works the same way, commiseration masquerading as connection. Emotions come from thought in the moment, not from others. Debate it with me. If your partner had said the same words but your mind was quiet, would you have felt the sting? Next time you feel yourself thinking “you made me feel…,” pause. Notice that a thought appeared, you believed it, and that belief shaped your reality. That awareness alone lightens the load. Freedom isn’t found in controlling others. It’s found in seeing thought for what it is, temporary, optional, not the boss of you. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Emoji Didn’t Hurt You
When a thumbs up feels like a dagger Ever poured your heart out in a text, paragraphs of raw honesty, only to get a single thumbs-up in reply? Instantly, the story starts: They don’t care. They’re dismissing me. That was so passive-aggressive. Notice what happened. The “👍” was just pixels on a screen. Neutral. Flat. The storm came from the thought that followed. We live like our emotions come from other people’s actions. The thumbs-up, the tone of voice, the delayed response. It looks like that’s what hurts us. Then we vent about it, complain to friends, post on social media, and they nod along, reinforcing the idea: Yep, your feelings are because of them. But that innocent validation keeps the misunderstanding alive. The truth is simpler, and harder to believe at first. Feelings come from thought in the moment, not circumstances. Without the story, the thumbs-up is just… a thumbs-up. Debate it. Test it. Catch yourself the next time a “meh” reply or quick reaction spins you out. Pause. Ask: What am I making this mean? You’ll see it isn’t their emoji that stings, it’s the meaning your mind created. And here’s the freedom: if meaning is thought-made, it can shift in an instant. No one else has to change for you to feel lighter. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When Your In-Law Hits a Nerve
Ever been around an in-law and suddenly felt your defenses shoot up? Maybe they say, “Are you sure you’re doing that right?” and before you know it, you’re firing back, “I know what I’m doing, thanks.” On the surface, it seems like they caused your defensiveness. If they hadn’t said it, you’d be calm… right? That’s the illusion. It looks like our emotions are delivered from the outside in. “They made me feel like an idiot!” In reality, every feeling is born from our own thought in the moment. Their comment didn’t inject defensiveness into you: your brain created it through a thought like, “They think I’m incompetent.” We all reinforce this illusion without realizing it. We vent, we complain and frame our language around: “They make me so mad!” Friends pile on: “Yeah, I can’t believe they said that!” Social media does the same, validation from likes, agreement, thumbs up. And every time, we strengthen the false belief that our feelings come from what others do. Think back: haven’t there been times the same type of comment just slid off you? Different mood, different thought, different reaction. That’s the inside-out truth at work. Your thought in this different time and place may have been: “They are just that way or in a bad mood.” When you see defensiveness as a passing thought, not as who you are or as something others caused, you reclaim choice. Do I want to be defensive? Resentful? Angry? Frustrated? I doubt it, that’s heavy and places them as the villain and the polarity is you’re the victim. It’s also exhausting, and damaging to your relationships. Good news is, it’s a habit, and like all habits they can be unlearned. That’s where I can help! Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Missed Birthday Spiral
You check your phone Nothing. Not a text, not a call, not even a lazy “HBD” on Facebook. The mind jumps in: “Wow, I guess I don’t matter to them. Maybe they’ve been pulling away. Maybe I should pull back too.” Now you’re not just birthday-less, you’re spiraling. It looks and feels like your friend caused the sting. But the only thing creating your feelings is the thought you’re having in that moment. Another thought (“They’re busy, I know they care”) and the look and feel shifts. Same circumstance, totally different experience. Most of us live as if feelings come from the outside in. That’s why venting, complaining, and commiserating feels so natural, it keeps the illusion alive. Someone says, “Yeah, I’d be hurt too” and now your story feels even more true. But what we’re really reinforcing is a misunderstanding. Feelings come from the inside out. Always. Thought first, emotion next. The outside is just the stage set, not the script. What one has a cost to the relationship? Don’t take my word for it. Debate it. Notice how the same “forgotten birthday” could feel devastating one day and roll-off-the-back funny the next. Nothing changed except the thought running the show. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Where Fitness Struggles Really Come From
When people talk about fitness, they often reduce it to discipline. Push harder. Stick to the plan. Suffer through the setbacks. No pain no gain. And when you don’t? Cue the emotions: “I’m weak.” “I’ll never get it right.” “This is pointless.” “I can’t” Notice what’s happening there. The scale isn’t talking back. The weights aren’t judging you. Your jeans didn’t send a rude text. Yet it feels like those outside things are the source of your frustration. That’s the illusion. It looks outside-in. We think the missed workout or the slower progress is causing stress, shame, or determination. And when friends chime in “Yeah, I hate that too!” we innocently reinforce the belief that our feelings come from the circumstances. Every emotion is created by thought in the moment. Same workout, two different days, two totally different moods. One day you feel strong and focused. Next, you’re irritated and tired. What changed? Not the dumbbell. Your mindset.(thoughts, stories, beliefs) When we vent, complain, or scroll for validation, we fuel the lie that external life controls our feelings. (outsourcing how we feel) Our experience comes from inside-out. Thought first, feeling second. Always. So here’s the experiment: next time you “fail” a workout or overeat, pause. Notice the story in your head before you decide the gym or the pizza “made” you feel anything. You’ll find more freedom in that pause than in any rep. And that’s where a lighter life begins. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Cookie Isn’t the Culprit
Ever promise yourself “no more cookies” … only to find yourself in the kitchen at 10 p.m. negotiating with the jar like it’s a hostage situation? It looks like the cookie has power. Sugar must be the villain. Or maybe your stressful day, your partner’s comment, or the commercial that triggered your craving. That’s the story we tell: “This thing made me want it. This person stressed me out. This situation forced my hand.” And here’s where we get stuck: the belief that our emotions and urges come from the outside in. So we vent, complain, and gather agreement “Of course you ate the cookie, anyone would after a day like that!” Innocently, we validate the myth. But cravings don’t come from cookies. Stress doesn’t come from your boss. Anxiety doesn’t come from your bank account. Every feeling comes from thought in the moment. Always. When we see that, we stop fighting cookies, bosses, or bank accounts like they control us. The power shifts back inside. Change starts small, choosing a walk, a glass of water, or even just a pause before acting. Those choices become easier when we’re not blaming circumstances for our state of mind. Notice this: the moment you see your craving is thought, not the cookie, you get breathing room. And in that space, freedom lives. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It Feels So Personal
You know that moment when you track your package all day, waiting like it’s Christmas morning… and then the notification hits: Delivered. You run to the door, nothing. Your inner narrator goes wild frustration with the driver for not double-checking the address, suspicion that your neighbor is taking your stuff, dread about the endless hold music with customer service, the sinking thought you’ll never see your package again. Then more stories pile on, imagining you’ll have to fight for a refund, picturing your neighbor making fun of you, replaying how much you spent.. One wrong drop-off has turned into a whole narrative about incompetence, dishonesty, embarrassment, wasted money, and your bad luck. In that moment, it feels like all those emotions are coming directly from the event itself, the miss-delivery. That’s the trick our minds play. We believe circumstances cause our feelings. Then we vent to a friend, complain online, or gather sympathy in the group chat. The validation feels good, but it quietly reinforces the false belief that emotions are outside-in. That life, drivers, and neighbors control how we feel. The deeper truth? Every feeling came from one place: thought in the moment. The package didn’t deliver anxiety, your thinking about it did. Debate that if you want, but notice how quickly the story shifted your mood. That’s thought at work. The good news! If feelings are created inside, you aren’t at the mercy of circumstances. You don’t need the world to get it “right” for you to feel steady. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Triggered by a Friend’s Post?
Your friend of four decades posts something you think is outrageous. You feel your chest tighten. Anger rises. Maybe even betrayal. “How could she think that?” And then it starts. You text another friend to vent. You scroll comments for backup. You replay the post in your head while loading the dishwasher. Every comment and reply makes it feel bigger, heavier, more “true.” This is how most of us live, believing the post itself caused the storm. We act like emotions are injected into us by people, events, or circumstances. So we complain, vent, and seek agreement to prove the outside world is responsible for our inside feelings. No post, no comment, no person has the power to make you feel anything, good/bad, right/wrong, better/worse, higher/lower... What you’re feeling comes from the thought you’re having in the moment. Thought paints the picture. Consciousness makes it vivid. Your nervous system gets activated. That’s good news. Because your feelings are yours to regulate, no one else. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When an Unfriend Feels Like a Rejection
You log into social media, and notice it: someone unfriended you. Your mind races: What did I do? Did I say something wrong? Are they upset with me? Before you know it, you’re replaying old conversations, scrolling their posts for clues, maybe even venting to a friend. You gather validation “Yeah, that’s rude, I’d be hurt too.” For a moment it feels justified. Like the unfollow equals rejection. But pause here. The only fact is that a button got clicked. That’s it. The rest, the hurt, the story, the meaning, is being written in real time by your own imagination. Notice how one person could feel sadness, another indifference, another relief, all from the same little notification. The difference isn’t the click. It’s the thought in the moment. When we don’t see this, we get stuck in the outside-in illusion, believing our peace lives in other people’s hands. “Everyone has to like me. I am a good person.” We keep reinforcing it by venting, complaining, and collecting agreements. The gentler truth is this: your reaction is born from thought, not their action. That doesn’t make the initial feeling “wrong” it just means it’s not coming from where you think it is. And when you see that, even faintly, you open up space. The story doesn’t have to run your whole day. The button was theirs. The meaning is yours. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Different Thought. Different Feeling.
Ever send a text… and then nothing? Hours pass. Days, even. The mind gets busy: They’re ignoring me. They must be upset. The mind goes into overdrive piles on even more personal meaning: They’re rude. How dare they. They should reply promptly like I do, that’s respect. Good communication is important. The world is falling apart. Suddenly silence is no longer silence. It’s a personal attack, a moral failing, a reason to pace the kitchen and vent to friends about how inconsiderate people are. We innocently think the sting comes from the silence itself. We point to the unanswered text and say, “See? That’s why I feel this way.” Then we gather proof, vent, and find others who agree. It feels validating in the moment, but it also trains the brain to keep spotting what’s wrong in people. Emotions don’t come from silence. They don’t come from whether someone replies or not. They come from the thought you’re believing in that moment. Another person might see the same silence and think, “They’re probably swamped, I’ll check back later.” Same event. Different thought. Different story. Different feeling. And here’s the shift: when we train ourselves to search for the good in people instead of the gaps, our own experience elevates. We carry less weight, we see more clearly, and the right people tend to connect with us on a deeper level. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Why Your Emotions Aren’t in the Bagging Area
You know that moment when the grocery self-checkout tells you “unexpected item in the bagging area” and suddenly you’re ready to fight a machine? You’re not actually angry at the scanner. You’re angry at the story your mind just told: “This always happens to me. Nothing ever works. People behind me think I’m an idiot. Why can’t we go back to the way it was?” Now, what do most of us do after? We vent. Post a rant online. Call a friend. Gather sympathy points. And in doing so, we accidentally reinforce the lie that our feelings came from the machine, the line, the judgmental strangers. Outside-in. It feels good in the moment to be validated. The problem with commiseration is that it cements the wrong source. You start living like peace depends on everyone else and everything behaving right. That’s a rigged game. Your emotions come from thought in the moment. Always. The checkout computer voice was neutral. Your thinking made it personal. Your mind made meaning out of that noise. Problems are not who you are. They’re temporary situations created through the lens you’re looking through. In other words your mindset is how you experience the world, your reality. And if you don’t understand how your reality is created, fear, anger, and blame will define your life. Next time you feel triggered, pause. Notice the story, not the machine, not the people. When you see it, the grip loosens. Life gets lighter, freer, and a whole lot funnier. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Peace Wasn’t in the Order
You order Chinese food after a long day. You’ve been looking forward to that one dish. The DoorDash driver arrives, you open the bag… and it’s wrong. In an instant, your mind takes over: I’m not respected. Life is unfair. Why can’t things ever go smoothly? Suddenly, it’s not about food. It feels personal, like proof you are powerless. This is the illusion most of us live in: the belief that IF everything lines up, IF the order is right, IF people behave, IF the world cooperates, then we will feel okay. We chase control, thinking it is the path to peace, happiness, success etc. Control was never the source of peace. Peace isn’t outside-in. Nothing outside delivers your emotions. Thought in the moment does. The bag cannot carry anger. The driver did not hand you stress with the fortune cookies. What created your experience was a story your mind told. And here is where freedom shows up: our thinking changes our outlook, and our behavior and choices follow our outlook. When your story is “I’ve been disrespected,” you react with blame, tension, finger pointing, powerlessness and complaint. When the story shifts even slightly to “this is a mix-up, not a personal attack,” your outlook lightens, and your behavior changes with it. You laugh, let it go, or choose calmly what to do next. Peace does not arrive when everything lines up. It arrives when you understand your feelings, where they come from, and how to create more of what you want. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your Brain Will Prove You Right
Ever met someone who says: “Nothing ever goes my way. I’m just unlucky.” Watch what happens next. They miss a green light, and it becomes proof: “See? Always my luck.” Their coffee order is wrong: “Figures. It’s me.” They don’t get the job, the date, the compliment “Of course, because I’m unlucky.” The brain is brilliant at collecting evidence for what it already believes. Once a thought looks real, we start living inside it as truth. And when we live inside it, life seems to mirror it back. Not because fate has it out for us, but because our perception filters everything through that lens. Here’s the catch: it feels so convincing we don’t notice it’s just thought in the moment. We think the traffic, the mix-up, or the missed opportunity caused the frustration. Then we vent about our “bad luck,” others agree, and the story hardens. But luck isn’t built into life. The events are neutral. It’s our thought about them that creates the feeling. Believe you’re unlucky, and the world will hand you proof. Believe you’re resilient, and it will hand you proof of that, too. The deeper truth: emotions don’t come from circumstances. They come from thought. Every single time. Luck isn’t who you are. You’re capable, resourceful, and creative. Believe that, and watch how quickly life starts reflecting it back to you. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Blame is a Thief
You’re walking through the mall when a stranger points in your direction. Instantly, your mind reacts: “They’re judging me. They’re making fun of me. People are so rude.” Now notice what just happened. The pointing lasted two seconds, maybe less. But by blaming the stranger for how you feel, you handed them control over your entire mood, attitude and how you experience the mall. By dinner, you might still be replaying it, telling the story to a friend, gathering agreement. That’s how blame works. The event may have been real, unfair, even confusing, but the suffering after the moment is fueled by thought. The pointing happened once. Every time you replay it, your mind recreates the discomfort. It feels real, and activates our nervous system. Blame convinces us the outside is in charge. A stranger at the mall, a partner’s silence, a messy house, a coworker’s sigh. We say, “They made me feel this way.” And every complaint, vent, or commiseration reinforces the illusion that people and circumstances control our emotions. No one holds that kind of power. No one can inject feelings into you. Emotions come from thought in the moment. Blame makes us a prisoner to the past, dragging yesterday’s moment into today’s peace. Freedom begins when you see this and stop replaying the story. You can’t control the stranger pointing. But you can stop giving them the keys to your inner world. Next time blame rises, pause and ask, “What’s really causing my feelings right now, them, or the thought I’m carrying?” That simple noticing is the doorway to a lighter, freer life. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Chips are Never the Problem
You’re sitting at the table, next to your partner. Your partner takes a bite of chips. The crunch feels deafening. Suddenly your shoulders tighten, jaw clenches, and your inner dialogue kicks off in your head: “Seriously? Do they have to chew like that?” “I can’t stand this.” “Why don’t they respect me enough to notice?” “Seriously?!” “Do they HAVE to chew like that?” “They know this makes me mad!” “I cannot take this.” “Are they doing this on purpose? Do they not respect me enough to notice?” Before long, it’s not just the crunch, it’s every past irritation you’ve ever had with them, dragged into the moment. And what do we do? We sigh louder. We drop hints. We complain to a friend, via text. Sometimes we even scroll social media, finding posts about “loud chewers” that make us feel validated. Others pile on, and for a minute it feels like your partner is the villain. But notice something: Yesterday they were eating just as loudly while you were in a good mood and you barely flinched. Same sound, same person, different state of mind. The chewing never created your irritation. Your thinking did. (judgment, contempt, blaming and complaining) Emotions don’t come from sounds, people, or circumstances. They come from the thought you’re believing in the moment. Your rules, how you want things to be. (control) This matters because your nervous system follows direction. If you don’t guide it, it will loop the familiar, annoyance, blame, tension. Worse, the commiseration you get from your friends and online reinforce this pattern. Next time the crunch feels unbearable, pause. Notice the stories, judgments, criticisms, and rules you’ve layered on top of the sound. See how quickly it shifts. The freedom is in recognizing: it was never the chips. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Stop Calling Walls Boundaries
A lot of people talk about “boundaries” and weaponize them instead of using them to benefit themselves. “Here’s my boundary, don’t cross it, or else.” That IS NOT a boundary. That’s a barrier. And barriers cut connection because they’re about control. Call it what it is: a rule, a demand, a wall. True personal boundaries aren’t weapons. They’re clear. Clear about what you are responsible for, how you’ll lead yourself, and how much of your energy you’re willing to leak into what doesn’t serve you. A barrier says, “You can’t do that.” A personal boundary says, “Here’s how I choose to live, regardless of what others do.” Barriers are rooted in fear, judgment, and manipulation. Personal boundaries are rooted choice, in self-respect, self-regulation and self-responsibility. The difference matters. Barriers try to manage someone else’s behavior. Personal boundaries prioritize your mental, emotional and physical needs. No force. No threats. No demands. You simply know where you end and another begins. That steadiness makes you trustworthy. It creates safety. It deepens connection. So next time you say, “I’m setting a boundary,” ask yourself: Am I protecting my peace, or trying to control them? Because one builds love. The other builds walls. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When Silence Gets Loud
You text a friend, and hours pass without a reply. Your mind starts writing the story: “Did I say something wrong?” “Are they mad at me?” “Do they even care?” “I would never leave someone on read.” By the time they finally answer with a casual “sorry, busy day,” your nervous system has been through a full rollercoaster of worry, frustration, and maybe even resentment. Most of us live this way. We believe emotions come from what they did or didn’t do. We vent to friends, scroll for memes to validate how inconsiderate people are, or post about how flaky others can be. For a moment, complaining, and commiseration feels good because others agree, jump into the rough waters with you. But notice what it reinforces: the idea that our peace depends on their behavior. That’s the outside-in illusion. It looks like their silence created your anxiety. But silence is neutral. The text was meaningless, until we, the receiver, made up a story about the letters. Your own thoughts filled in the blanks. Create stories, rules, expectations, judgments, assumptions.. Feelings don’t come from unanswered texts, messy kitchens, or grumpy coworkers. Feelings come from the thoughts moving through you in the moment. Feelings are inside out. The more you see this, the less grip outside circumstances have on you. A late reply becomes just a late reply. A messy room is just objects on a floor. The storm settles when you stop fueling the story. Your power and emotions do not depend on someone else thinking, saying, or behaving differently. Your power is understanding your emotions and how your reality is created. That single shift is the path to a lighter, freer, happier life. Believe me, or don’t, let’ chat about how this looks in your life. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your life isn’t exhausting. Your mind is
Jason opened his email and saw “We need to talk” from his boss. His stomach dropped. Instantly, his mind raced. Am I in trouble? Did I mess something up? Am I getting fired? He spent the rest of the morning distracted, venting to a coworker, texting his partner, even posting a vague “rough day” status online. Each bit of validation gave him a quick hit of relief, then the anxiety always came rushing back. Notice what happened: The email itself was neutral. Just three words. Jason’s thinking about the email created the spiral. On another day, he might have read the exact same words and thought, “Finally, maybe I’ll get that raise.” Same email. Two completely different experiences. This is how most of us live, believing our emotions come from circumstances. We vent, complain, and gather sympathy, we commiserate not realizing we’re reinforcing the illusion that life is happening to us. The truth: Feelings don’t come from emails, coworkers, silence, or texts. They come from thought in the moment. Always. No exceptions, well if someone is poking you with a stick.. That’s not what capacity I work within… When you see this, in your own reality, in real time, you stop handing your peace to three words in your inbox. Your life isn’t exhausting. Your mind is. A busy mind scatters your energy across imagined problems. The more you chase those thoughts, the less energy you have for real life. Here to help you see things differently, when you’re ready! Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Cart Wasn’t the Problem
You head into the store for just a few things, milk, bread, and coffee. You’ve timed it perfectly: quick in, quick out. Then you spot the express self-checkout line: 15 items or less. Relief washes over you. This will be easy. Until it’s not. The person in front of you unloads a mountain of groceries. Not 16 items. Not 20+. We’re talking a full cart. Family-sized cereal boxes, frozen dinners, produce bags, even dog food. You count at least 37 items as your jaw tightens. They scan at half-speed, bag each item like it’s a delicate museum artifact, and fumble with coupons, getting help looking up each produce item, and of course wants to write a check. The line grows. Your blood pressure climbs. You think, Seriously? Who raised you? Can’t you read the sign? This is outrageous. Your body follows your thoughts: heat rises in your chest, your jaw clenches, you shift from foot to foot. You imagine marching over to the manager or crafting the perfect rant for social media: Some people have no respect for rules. Humanity is doomed. Maybe later you’ll vent to your partner, replay the story on the phone with a friend, or write a post online and gather all the “Yes! Same here!” validation. It feels good for a moment, you’re not alone, you’ve been seen. The truth? The cart in front of you didn’t create the frustration. Your thinking about the cart did. That’s why the same wait can feel unbearable one day and oddly peaceful the next. The line hasn’t changed, you have. We all innocently reinforce the opposite belief: that our feelings come from circumstances. We vent, complain, gather sympathy. Each time we strengthen the illusion that our emotions are “outside-in” this is what’s creating the uptick in anxiety, worry, stress, estrangement, isolation, and division in our culture. Emotions don’t come from checkout lines, coworkers, unanswered texts, or messy houses. They come from thought in the moment. Your life isn’t exhausting. Your mind is. A busy mind scatters your energy across imagined thought problems. The more you chase those thoughts, the more they are reinforced by victimhood, the less energy you have for real life. Here’s the invitation: the next time you feel your blood pressure spike in the self-checkout line, pause. Notice your thought creating the feeling. See it for what it is, just thought. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Life Doesn’t Dictate Your Mood
You sit down with your partner but your mind is still busy spiraling about work. Emails, deadlines, a meeting that didn’t go well, it’s all replaying. Your loving partner at home ask a simple question, but your head is noisy, and you snap back short and curt. You tell yourself, “I’m stressed because of work” or “I’m irritated because they interrupted me.” This is how most of us live, believing feelings come from circumstances, people, or events. And we reinforce it every time we vent to friends/family, complain online, or look for someone to agree with us. “Yeah, I’d be upset too if that happened to me.” It feels validating in the moment, but it strengthens the illusion that our emotions are caused by the outside world. Our emotions DO NOT come from what’s happening out there. Our emotions come from the thoughts moving through us in the moment that we BELIEVE. Work stress isn’t living in the email. Irritation isn’t living in your partner’s words. All feelings come from the stories you’re believing right now, in your own mind. Notice the difference. When your thoughts are quiet, the same partner, the same question, feels completely different. Nothing outside you changed, only the busy mind was settled down. What happens if you begin to notice how much your thoughts and stories impact your mood, and feelings? You’ll spend less time fighting circumstances and more time realizing you have more power over how you feel every moment of every day. Life gets easier and lighter when you see your feelings aren’t trapped in events, but flowing through thought. If you logically agree to all of this but do not experience it in your life, that’s where I come in, I support and help people realize this understanding. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Life Isn’t Happening To You
Lisa once believed her frustration came from the world outside her. A coworker’s sigh meant they disapproved of her. Silence from her partner meant trouble. A messy house meant she was failing. A delayed text meant she wasn’t important. A grocery store clerk’s tone meant they didn’t respect her. A canceled plan meant people didn’t value her. Each circumstance seemed and appeared to dictate her mood. Naturally, she did what we all do. She vented to friends. Complained online. Gathered “same here” validation. For a moment it felt good, she wasn’t alone, she felt a connection through shared frustration. B Underneath, it reinforced the same mistaken belief: that emotions are caused by people, places, and situations. That life controls how we feel. Life is happening TO HER. Then Lisa noticed something strange. The same traffic jam that made her furious one day felt like a welcome quiet the next. Same cars, same delay, different experience. What changed wasn’t the world. It was the thought passing through her mind. She no longer blamed, and complained to anyone that would listen. She started to become grateful and appreciative of all life's quirkyness. Our emotions don’t come from traffic, texts, or silence. They come from thought in the moment. Always inside out. Next time you’re ready to complain, blame, vent, moan, wallow in misery and commiserate, pause. Notice the thought creating your feeling. See how it shifts when the thought shifts. That awareness alone lightens the load. Life feels freer not because the world behaves, but because you see where your experience truly begins. That’s self leadership. Life is just happening, it’s all in how you think about it. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Two Completely Different Realities
Imagine a calendar. A new month. Fresh and clean. The squares are just blank boxes. Neutral. One person looks at the month and instantly fills the empty squares with pressure. “I have to finish that project. I should be further ahead. I can’t drop the ball.” The list piles up in their head: deadlines, appointments, obligations, expectations. Their thought solidifies into, “I’ll never get it all done.” Shoulders tense, chest tightens, stress spikes. Another person looks at the same boxes and thinks, “Plenty of space to focus.” Calm follows. Same Calendar and has a different thought. Time did not change or expand, same 24 hours every day of the month, the only interpretation did. This is how it works in everyday life too. A late text. Silence from a partner. A messy kitchen. A coworker’s sigh. We assume those things create our feelings. So we vent, complain, post online, and gather validation. Innocently, we reinforce the illusion that emotions come from outside circumstances. The deeper truth is this: the calendar, the traffic, the text, the silence, they are all neutral. Feelings rise from thought in the moment, not from the event itself. Notice this even once today and the weight lifts. Life feels freer. Peace is not in the boxes on the calendar. It is in the thinking you bring to them. Where could you test this today? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Algorithm of Blame
Ever wonder why venting posts go viral? Social media has an algorithm for everything, even your emotions. Blame sells. Victimhood gets rewarded. So do highlight reels and tragedy. The extremes win because they hook attention. Post about how your boss ruined your mood or how your partner made you upset, and the likes, comments, and “same here” roll in. Post about heartbreak or loss, and the sympathy floods in. Post about a perfect vacation or big win, and admiration piles up. It feels like connection, but it quietly cements the lie: our feelings come from other people, places, things, situations and circumstances. The truth? You don’t feel them. You feel your thoughts about them.PERIOD That’s why one person laughs off a comment while another stews for days. Why one person feels empty after posting a highlight reel, while another feels proud. The algorithm doesn’t control your emotions. Your thinking in the moment does. The happiest people understand their feelings are inside out.. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Money isn’t the Trigger, Thought is
You notice a charge on the bank account, your partner spent money you didn’t expect or agree on. Your chest tightens, your jaw clenches, and your mind starts racing: “They’re irresponsible. They don’t respect me. We’ll never get ahead.” From the outside, it looks like their spending is causing your stress. That’s the story most of us believe, and it’s the story we repeat when we vent to a friend, complain on social media, or gather agreement from well meaning validating friends and family. We innocently reinforce the idea that our feelings are caused by circumstances. The truth: the purchase is just a fact. Numbers on a statement. The stress doesn’t come from the money or your partner's actions. It comes from the meaning your mind attaches to it. Stress isn’t eliminated when problems disappear. If that were true, we’d all need perfect lives (control) to feel calm, and nobody has that. Stress softens the moment we stop believing outside circumstances have the power to dictate our inner state. Your inner world is shaped by thought in the moment. Problems don’t carry emotional weight until your thinking gives them one. Next time you feel that surge, whether it’s about money, an unanswered text, or a messy house, pause and ask: Am I feeling the situation, or my thoughts about it? Notice that distinction, and you’ll discover a lighter, freer life hiding in plain sight. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your list is neutral. Your mind isn’t.
“My to-do list is crushing me.” That’s what a client told me. She believed the list itself caused her stress. Twenty items on a page sat there like a verdict. Each time she looked at it, she felt the weight in her chest. The burden grew as her eyes moved down the page. Time felt scarce, like the clock was already against her. Most of the tasks were things she dreaded doing. A few were things she told herself she “should” be doing. None of them felt light or chosen. To her, the paper carried pressure, when in reality it was her own thinking that had turned ink into a threat. But here’s the thing: a list is ink on paper. Neutral. No feelings attached. The pressure came from the invisible thought she hadn’t noticed: “If it’s written down, I must finish it all today.” That single thought, not the list, was creating the heaviness. We all fall for this illusion. Traffic “ruins” our day. An unanswered text “makes” us anxious. A messy kitchen “drives us crazy.” It looks like the outside world is in charge of how we feel. We complain, vent, go to social media and gather people who agree, which only reinforces the story: “See? It really is the traffic, the text, the mess.” The deeper truth is this: emotions don’t come from lists, traffic, or texts. They come from thought in the moment. That’s why the same list feels crushing one minute and doable the next. The list didn’t change. Your thought did. Try this: Write down your to-do list. Circle one item. Notice your first thought about it. Now ask: “What if this task were neutral? What if it was just a task, not a threat?” Notice how your body shifts when you see the difference. Life feels lighter not when circumstances change, but when we see thought for what it is. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Why You Feel Stuck
Sarah said, “I just need my husband to admit I’m right.” I asked, “And if he never does?” She sighed, “Then we’ll never move forward.” That moment revealed something powerful: her marriage wasn’t stuck because of the disagreement. It was stuck because of the condition (rules and story) she had unknowingly set in her mind: I must be validated as right before peace can happen. We all do this in different ways. Traffic ruins our day. An unanswered text means rejection. A messy house means no one cares. A coworker’s tone means disrespect. Then we complain, vent, and gather allies to back us up. Social media rants, group texts, coffee shop gripes, all innocent ways we reinforce the story that our feelings live “out there.” We keep proving the illusion true. The truth: emotions don’t come from traffic, silence, or messy kitchens. They come from thought in the moment. A story arises, we feel it, and it looks real. Then a new thought appears, and our entire mood can shift without anything “out there” changing. When Sarah saw that, she softened. Without needing to win, space opened. And from that softer place, she and her husband found new ground. That single insight lightens the load. Life feels freer when peace isn’t waiting on anyone else. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your Mood Isn’t in Their Hands
Ever catch yourself saying, “They ruined my day”? I overheard someone once say, “My boss ruins my day.” That afternoon, her boss came in sharp and critical. She felt drained and deflated, convinced his behavior was the cause. Later that same day, her daughter called with unexpected good news. In an instant, her mood lifted. Nothing about her boss had changed. The only thing that shifted was the thought running through her mind. This is how we all innocently misunderstand experience. We’re taught from childhood that people “make” us mad, sad, happy, or stressed. So we blame the traffic, the unanswered text, the messy house, the silent partner, or the coworker’s attitude. Then we reinforce it, venting to friends, posting online, collecting agreement that circumstances create feelings. But here’s the deeper truth: our emotions don’t come from events or people. They come from thought in the moment. And thought is fluid. One moment it looks unbearable. Next, it softens or shifts. Your experience isn’t fixed, it can change in an instant, without anyone else changing first. You hold the power inside of you. Next time you feel caught in the storm, pause. Ask yourself, “What story am I believing right now?” Then watch how quickly a new thought arrives and your feeling follows. That’s freedom: realizing no one else is holding the remote. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Story, Not the Situation
As kids, we got handed this script: “He hurt your feelings.” “She made you mad.” “They made you happy.” “That test stressed you out.” “Work made you tired.” “That comment ruined your day.” It sounded harmless, but it planted a false belief that other people hold the controls to how we feel. Picture this: You’re sitting in traffic, car horns blaring, someone cuts you off. Your chest tightens. Later, your partner doesn’t answer a text, and the same knot forms in your stomach. Different situations, same feeling. It looks like the outside world caused your stress. What happens next? Vent. Rant. Moan. Blame. We complain. Reply the story in our head. Collect evidence and proof why we are right. Retell it until it feels validated and bigger. Commiserate with friends or social media: “Can you believe what they did?” Without realizing it, we reinforce the illusion that life circumstances create our emotions. Here’s the deeper truth: feelings don’t come from traffic, silence, or a messy kitchen. They come from the thought you’re believing in that moment. Two people can face the same event and feel completely different, not because of the event, but because of the story running in their mind. When you notice this, something shifts. You realize your peace doesn’t live in someone else’s hands. It lives in the thoughts passing through you. The invitation: next time you feel stuck in someone else’s storm, pause. Ask yourself, “What story am I believing right now?” That question cracks the illusion and a lighter, freer life begins to show up. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Hidden Source of Stress
I once coached someone who told me, “My peace depends on my spouse calming down. When he’s mad, I’m mad.” That’s how most of us live. Traffic, unanswered texts, silence from a partner, or a messy house all look like the source of our stress. We vent, complain, or gather validation from others (texts, calls, social media, groups), reinforcing the idea that circumstances create feelings. But notice what happens when we test it. I asked her, “So your nervous system is wired to his?” She laughed. Then we tried something simple: while he stayed irritated, she recalled a funny memory. Instantly, her body softened. He didn’t change, but her experience did. That moment cracked the illusion: peace wasn’t in him. He doesn’t hold the happy or mad switch. It was in her thought. Our emotions don’t come from people or events. They rise from the thought we are holding in that moment. And because thoughts shift, feelings shift. The invitation: Next time you feel caught in someone else’s storm, pause. Notice the story you are believing. Then watch what happens when a new thought drifts in. Freedom isn’t out there. It is already in you. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Remote Control
Picture this: You’re stuck in traffic, someone cuts you off, and your chest tightens. Later, your partner doesn’t answer a text, and the same knot forms in your stomach. Different scenes, same feeling. It looks like traffic or silence caused your stress. So what do we do? We vent to a friend, post on social threads, or replay the story in our heads, gathering proof that the outside world is to blame. Without realizing it, we hand over the remote control of our peace to someone else. Feelings don’t come from traffic, unanswered texts, or messy kitchens. They come from the thought you’re holding in that moment. “They don’t care.” “This is unfair.” “Why me again?” Those stories flip the channel inside your mind, fire up your nervous system, and pull you into insecure behaviors. Imagine giving someone else the remote to your TV. Every time they press a button, your screen flips, volume blasting, static buzzing, channels jumping from comedy to horror without warning. One second it’s calm, the next it’s chaos. You can sit there yelling at the TV, or you can remember: the remote was never theirs to begin with. You can take it back and choose the channel you want to live in. Peace works the same way. Thought is the real controller, and it’s always in your hands. Next time you feel stirred up, pause and ask: “Is this coming from them, or from the thought I’m holding right now?” That single question opens the gap where freedom lives. Notice it. Practice it daily. The more often you see this, the lighter and freer life becomes. That one question cracks open a gap, a space where freedom lives. Notice it. Practice it DAILY. The more often you see this, the lighter and freer life begins to feel. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Who’s really pulling the trigger on your emotions?
Think of one person who gets under your skin… a partner, coworker, family member, even a stranger who cuts you off in traffic. Notice your very first thought about them today. Then pause and ask: “What if this feeling is coming from my thought, not from them?” Now test it. Hold two different thoughts about the same person back-to-back: “They’re impossible.” “They’re just human.” Notice what happens in your body. Same person. Same situation. Two totally different experiences. One feels heavy and tight, the other lighter and calmer, and they didn’t change a thing. This is the part we often miss: our emotions aren’t being injected into us by other people’s behavior. They rise and fall with the thoughts we’re holding in the moment. The power isn’t in them. It’s in you. Your peace of mind has always been closer than it looks. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s Not Them. It’s Thought
You’re stuck in traffic. Horns are blaring, cars inch forward, and your chest tightens. The mind says, “This traffic is stressing me out.” Later, you walk into a messy kitchen, same tight chest, same stress. Different scene, same feeling. It looks like traffic or dirty dishes caused the stress. So what do we do? We complain, vent, text a friend, gather proof that the outside world is the problem. Without noticing, we reinforce the idea that our peace depends on circumstances lining up just right. The truth: The feeling isn’t coming from traffic or dishes. It’s coming from thought in the moment. The story running through your mind creates THE stressful state of mind and experience. That’s why one day traffic feels unbearable and another day you sing along to music without caring. When you see that emotions don’t come from circumstances, but from thought, a gap opens. You realize peace isn’t waiting on the world, it’s already available beneath the noise. Simple Exercise: Pick one annoyance today (traffic, dishes, tone of voice). Notice your first stressed thought. Then pause and ask: Is this stress coming from the situation, or my interpretation? That pause exposes the gap where choice lives. Notice this in action and life gets lighter, freer, and less dependent on everything outside you. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Why Your Vacation Won’t Fix Your Misery
I’ve coached hundreds of people who swore their stress would disappear if life outside them finally behaved. One client told me, “If my boss would stop micromanaging, I could finally relax.” But when they went on vacation, away from the boss, the deadlines, the office, the stress didn’t vanish. It just changed costumes. Suddenly it was the flight delay, the hotel check-in, the weather. What should have been “relaxing” turned into the same old misery, because the habit of blaming and complaining came along in their suitcase. That’s the trap so many of us fall into. We point to traffic, unanswered texts, or a partner’s silence as the cause of how we feel. Then we reinforce it by venting, complaining, or collecting sympathy. Innocently, we mistake our thoughts for proof that the world is to blame. The harsh truth: we don’t feel our circumstances, we feel our thoughts about them in the moment. That’s why two people can face the exact same situation and have completely different experiences. How you do one thing is how you do all things. If you’re in the habit of outsourcing your peace, it follows you everywhere. This is why I help people create a life they no longer need a vacation from. Because freedom isn’t found by escaping your life, it’s found when you stop handing your state of mind over to what’s happening outside. Next time you’re stressed, pause and ask: what thought is driving this feeling right now? That small shift is where real freedom begins. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Stop blaming the pants
You try on a pair of pants, and they don’t fit. If your mind says, “Something is wrong with my body,” you’ve mislabeled the problem. The pants are the wrong size, that’s all. Yet notice how quickly the story shifts inward: judgment, shame, comparison. Suddenly the day feels heavy, not because of denim, but because of thought. This is what the mind does in everyday life. Traffic? “People are idiots.” Silence from a partner? “They don’t care about me.” Messy house? “I’m the only one who does anything.” We don’t just experience the situation, we experience the story our mind tells about it. Then we gather evidence. We vent to friends. We replay the scene. We search for validation. All the while, the feeling grows stronger, as if the outside world injected it straight into us. Here’s the deeper truth: emotions come from thought in the moment. They don’t come from pants, people, or circumstances. Which means the world doesn’t have the power to label you, stress you, or hurt you, unless your thinking runs that script. Try this: the next time you feel tight in your chest or heavy in your gut, pause and ask, “What thought did I just believe?” See how your feeling matches the story, not the circumstance. When you notice this, life gets lighter. Not because the world changes, but because you realize you were never at its mercy in the first place. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Movie Theater in Your Mind
Ever notice how a silent phone, a messy house, or your partner’s quiet mood can suddenly feel like proof something’s wrong? One client told me she spiraled when her husband didn’t answer her text. “He must not care,” her mind whispered. Within minutes, she was tense, angry, and rehearsing old arguments in her head. Later, he called, he’d been in an important meeting. This is how the movie theater in your mind works. Thought writes the script: They don’t care. I’m being ignored. I am being rejected. Consciousness lights it up, and your body reacts as if the story is fact. Heart racing, stomach tightening, tears pressing. The nervous system doesn’t pause to fact-check, it believes the movie playing on the screen. Here’s the trap: we often reinforce this illusion by venting, complaining, or gathering validation. “See? I told you he always ignores me.” The more we repeat the story, the more real it feels. The truth is lighter. Our emotions don’t come from unanswered texts, messy houses, or moody coworkers. They come from thought in the moment. That’s why the same silence from your partner can feel like rejection one day… and like nothing the next. Next time you feel swept away, pause and ask: What movie is my mind playing right now? Noticing this doesn’t mean you’ll never feel hurt, but it does give you freedom. Because once you see it’s a movie, you don’t have to live as if it’s the news. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Who’s Really Running Your Day?
The other day, a client told me her partner “ruined her whole morning” by not texting back. She felt dismissed, unimportant, and started venting to friends who quickly agreed, “Yeah, that’s so disrespectful.” It seemed obvious: the missed text caused the pain. But look closer. The text was just… absent. The sting came from the thought “I’m not important.” The moment that thought landed, the hurt followed. We do this everywhere: “My boss stressed me out.” The Truth: the thought “He doesn’t respect me” created the stress, not the tone of his email. “That driver made me furious.” The Truth: the thought “They disrespected me” created the anger, not the lane change. “The messy house overwhelmed me.” The Truth: the thought “I’ll never get this under control” created the pressure, not the dishes. The trap is that we reinforce these outside-in beliefs. We complain, vent, gather validation from well meaning people we know. Each time, we strengthen the illusion that circumstances hold the keys to our peace. Here’s the deeper truth: feelings don’t come from traffic, silence, or messy kitchens. They come from the thought passing through your mind in that moment. We humans can easily judge our external world and misinterpret what’s really happening. Notice this and something shifts. The house may still be messy, the text still missing, but your peace is no longer hostage. Life feels lighter, freer, because you’re not a puppet to circumstances. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Blame, Calm, or Peace, Your Call
Your partner forgets to pick up milk. That’s it. Just a neutral event. Yet three people can live three completely different realities inside that one moment. Scenario A (blame): Thought: “They don’t care about me.” Feeling: Hurt. Reaction: Argument. Scenario B (neutral): Thought: “They forgot.” Feeling: Calm. Reaction: Quick text reminder. Scenario C (supportive): Thought: “They’re busy, I’ll grab it.” Feeling: Compassion. Reaction: Peace. Same event. Three entirely different worlds. What changed? Not the milk. Not the partner. The only variable was the thought each believed in the moment. This is how life works. We’re not feeling beings who occasionally think, we’re thinking-feeling-beings who constantly feel the effects of thought. Every emotion is your mind’s echo, not life’s demand. When you see this, you stop bleeding energy trying to fix people, places, and circumstances. You’re not a puppet and life or the people in your life aren’t your puppet master. No one else is pulling the strings on your feelings. The strings are thought, and they’re in your hands. Test it for yourself. The next time you feel tense or upset, pause and ask, “What thought just ran through me?” Notice how the feeling mirrors the thought, not the circumstance. This is the bridge between living like a puppet, yanked around by events, and living with self-leadership. The event may stay the same, but your experience doesn’t have to. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Crooked Bins, Crooked Thinking
A client once told me her neighbor ruined her mornings. The reason? Crooked trash bins. Every week, he’d leave them sideways, and every week she spiraled: “He’s disrespectful. He knows this bothers me. Why can’t people be decent and follow common courtesy?” The bins weren’t the problem. They were plastic. The suffering came from the 30 minutes she spent narrating what they meant, plus the phone calls around the neighborhood complaining and blaming, and the neighbors who eagerly validated her gripes. Every retelling strengthened her conviction that her feelings were caused by him. That’s how we innocently reinforce the illusion: the more we share our story and gather agreement, the more real it feels that our upset is “out there.” We forget we’re living in the feeling of our thinking, not the crooked bins. One morning, she caught it. She noticed the commentary her mind was spinning and stopped feeding it. No calls to the neighbors. No social media posts. The bins stayed crooked, but her peace stayed intact. This is what most of us miss: emotions don’t come from people, places, or things. They come from the meaning we attach. It’s not the bins. Not the email. Not the silence. It’s the thought that interprets it. The more you see this, the freer you become. You stop outsourcing your mood to your neighbor’s habits, your partner’s words, or the speed of traffic. Peace isn’t earned by controlling your environment. It’s remembered when you stop mistaking your thoughts for reality. Want a lighter life? Watch what happens when you pause the narration. The bins may still be crooked, but you’ll feel steady. That’s emotional freedom. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The biggest lie
We were taught, brainwashed, hypnotized and conditioned that other people “make us feel” a certain way. “She hurt your feelings.” “He made you mad.” “They embarrassed you.” It sounds small, but this one belief is the reason so many of us are suffering. Here’s the truth: no one has ever climbed inside your mind and pressed the “anger button.” No one has ever reached into your chest and installed “sadness.” Someone acts, you interpret, then you feel. The event is neutral. The story you attach to it creates the feeling. And this conditioning runs deep. It shapes how we show up at work, in our marriages, as parents, with friends, and even in how we treat ourselves. It makes us reactive, resentful, and constantly waiting for others to change so we can feel better. It erodes our wellbeing because it puts our peace in someone else’s hands. Think about it: Your boss criticizes your work. One day you feel crushed, another day you take it as feedback. Same words. Different thought. Different feeling. Your partner is quiet at dinner. When you’re insecure, you feel rejected. When you’re grounded, you enjoy the silence. Same silence. Different thought. Different feeling. Someone cuts you off in traffic. Sometimes you rage, other times you shrug. Same car. Different thought. Different feeling. It’s never the person. It’s always the thought. Your emotions live in you, not in them. And when you see that, you stop suffering needlessly. You stop waiting for life to bend to you. You stop giving your power away. Your mind is the painter. Life is the canvas. The brush is always in your hand. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Silence Isn’t the Problem
A client once told me, “My husband’s silence makes me feel invisible.” At first glance, for most it might seem obvious. His silence was the problem, WRONG. When we slowed down, she noticed something different and powerful. His silence wasn’t new. He had always been a quiet man. What changed was the meaning her mind attached to it. When she felt insecure, she read silence as rejection. When she felt steady, she read silence as peace. Same silence. Different thought. Different feeling. That’s the power of the mind. Here’s the deeper truth: feelings do not come from silence, words, or people. They come from the thoughts we attach to those moments. The world around us doesn’t inject feelings into us. Our mind interprets, and our body feels. This is where coaching creates transformation. Not by teaching you how to fix someone else, but by holding space for you to see what is really happening inside your own mind. The world may stay the same, yet your experience of it can change in an instant when you see the thought that is shaping it. You cannot always control someone’s words or actions. You can see how your interpretations create your reality. And once you see it, you can choose again. That moment of awareness? That is freedom. That is leadership. That is the quiet magic of coaching. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Neutral Moments, Loud Minds
The Empty Text Bubble. We’ve all been there, staring at those three little dots on your phone. Someone is typing. You wait. You hold your breath. And then… nothing, the bubbles stop and nothing comes through. Your stomach twists. Your mind races. “They’re ignoring me.” “They must be mad.” “Did I say something wrong?” Here’s the truth: you’re not feeling the dots. You’re feeling the story you attached to them. The dots are neutral. Always were. Always will be. It’s the meaning you paint on top that creates the storm. This is how life usually works. A traffic jam. An unanswered email. A pause before someone replies. None of these things carry emotion on their own. It’s your mind that lights them up, assigning meaning, turning neutral moments into charged experiences. When you confuse the two, you live in reactivity. You ride the emotional rollercoaster of every silence, every delay, every glance. It feels like the world is jerking you around, but it’s your own thoughts holding the rope. This is the shift I help people make. From being run by the noise of their mind to leading from clarity. From attaching drama to the mundane to choosing how they want to feel, regardless of the moment. The three dots don’t define you. Neither does their silence. You get to decide what story to feed, and what experience to live. So the question isn’t “Why didn’t they text back?” The question is: What story am I creating, and is it one I want to keep living? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The problem isn’t their behavior
“It’s not their behavior that wrecks you. It’s the voice in your head about it.” Think about it. Someone cuts you off in traffic. One person shrugs and keeps driving. Another stews for hours, replaying the moment, inventing stories about disrespect, how the driver’s reckless, how their license should be taken away, you’d never drive that way and so on. Same event. Two completely different inner worlds. That driver is just a metaphor. In real life, it might be your partner, your boss, your sibling, a parent, a co-worker, or even a stranger online. Their behavior is the “spark” but it’s the voice in your head that decides if your whole day gets hijacked. Here’s the truth: this isn’t a “them” problem. It’s a thinking problem. People act. Situations unfold. But the commentary you add is what makes it heavy, exhausting, or unbearable. Your nervous system reacts more to the story you tell about the moment than to the moment itself. This is where my work comes in. I help people notice that voice instead of being owned by it. To recognize: When you’ve labeled someone and your brain is just collecting “evidence.” When an old wound is speaking louder than the present moment. When your story about the event is more painful than the event itself. And here’s the best part, you don’t have to silence the voice. You just have to see it for what it is: Thought. Temporary. Optional. That’s not just mindset work. It’s freedom. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When the Label Becomes the Prison
A client once told me her boss ruined her mornings. She’d step into the office already braced for his criticism, carrying yesterday’s words like fresh wounds. One sharp comment, and the rest of her day was gone. Then something shifted. She noticed he used the same phrases with everyone. Same tone. Same delivery. The difference wasn’t him, it was her mind. She had already labeled him as a “critical micromanager,” so her brain went hunting for proof. Every eyebrow raised, every note in his voice, every email, every piece of feedback slid neatly into that box. And when you put someone in a box, you stop seeing the whole of them. That’s the seduction of a negative frame. Once the label sticks, it colors everything. You don’t notice their strengths, their moments of fairness, their humanity, you only collect evidence for the case you’ve already built. And the more you repeat that story, the more convincing it feels, until your nervous system reacts as if you’re under attack, even when you’re not. The day she saw this, the grip loosened. The commentary was optional. She realized she could hear his words without the “he’s critical” filter, take what was useful, and let the rest fall flat. The boss didn’t change. The environment didn’t soften. Yet her mornings transformed from heavy to steady. That’s the power of seeing thought for what it is. You don’t need to silence it, fight it, or debate it. You just need to see you’re not obligated to believe every story your brain offers. Notice the difference: • His words existed. • Her label created the suffering. • Once she dropped the frame, she got her mornings back. So here’s the real question: where are you still mistaking commentary for truth? And what would change if you saw it for what it is, a story, not reality? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Stop Chasing False Alarms
Imagine you’re walking through a parking lot and a car alarm blares. It’s loud. Urgent. Impossible to ignore. But does it mean there’s a real emergency? Not always. Sometimes it’s just wind, a bump, or a faulty sensor. Your brain works the same way. The loudest thoughts aren’t always the truest ones. They’re like that alarm, meant to grab your attention, not necessarily to guide your next move. “You’re not good enough.” “They don’t respect you.” “This will never work.” These alarms feel urgent, but urgency does not equal truth. Here’s where self-leadership comes in. You can notice the alarm without running toward it. You can pause, ask, “Is this thought a real threat or just noise?” and choose how you want to respond. That moment of awareness changes everything. I support individuals in training their brain to work for them instead of against them. We slow down the inner alarms, separate fact from faulty sensors, and practice responding from clarity instead of noise. The shift is subtle but powerful. Less reactivity, more peace. Your loudest thought is not always your wisest thought. And when you learn to tell the difference, life feels less like a parking lot full of blaring alarms and more like a calm drive with you in control of the wheel. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Life Looks Different Through a Clear Lens
Imagine you’re wearing sunglasses with red lenses. Everything looks red. You could swear the world itself is red, but if you take them off or swap them for blue lenses, the scene changes instantly. The world didn’t change. Only the lens did. Your thoughts are those lenses. When you’re looking through “life is against me” lenses, you’ll find proof everywhere. Swap them for “I can figure this out” lenses, and the exact same situation feels lighter, more possible. That’s how simple the human mind is, it’s not an endless puzzle to solve. It runs on whatever filter you give it. The challenge is most people don’t know they’re wearing tinted lenses at all. They think they’re just “seeing life as it is.” Here’s where I come in. I help people notice the lens they’re wearing, set down the ones that distort reality, and train their mind to work for them instead of against them. We do this through simple, repeatable shifts, not hacks, not toxic positivity, so you can move through life without being yanked around by every thought. When you learn to swap lenses, you don’t have to force a better life. You start seeing it. What color lenses are you wearing? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Life is Neutral. Season It Well.
Your feelings don’t come from life itself. Go ahead and argue with me. They come from the thoughts you have about life in the moment you’re experiencing it. Life is neutral until thought gives it flavor. That flavor might be bitter, sweet, or bland, but it’s coming from the seasoning in your head, not the plate of life itself. Here’s the tricky part. When you believe you’re at the mercy of events, you start trying to manage people, fix situations, and control outcomes just to feel okay. It’s exhausting. It never works for long. And you suffer in the process of bending reality that has never been in your control and never will be. The shift happens when you see that you’re not actually reacting to life. You’re reacting to the meaning your mind is assigning to it in real time. Change the meaning, and the emotional experience changes with it. This is what I help clients do. We slow down enough to see the gap between the event and the story. In that gap, you find choice. You see new ways of relating to your thoughts without gripping them so tightly. You stop needing the world to bend to your comfort and start leading from the inside out. It’s not about pretending life is all sunshine. It’s about recognizing your built-in ability to find peace, clarity, and strength no matter what is happening around you. The plate of life may not change, but you can change the seasoning. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your Mind is
The Filter
Most people logically understand this but rarely live it. We know our mood can swing wildly from one day to the next even when life itself has not changed. We have all had mornings where the smallest thing feels like a crisis, and other days where the exact same thing barely registers. That is not the world changing. That is you. Right now, your mind is showing you a version of reality shaped entirely by the thoughts you are having. If those thoughts sound like, “This isn’t fair… People never listen… Nothing ever works out for me,” that is the filter you will see the day through, heavy, tight, and frustrating. When your thoughts carry blame and complain energy, you will spot every little inconvenience and treat it as proof that life is hard, that people are against you, and that you are justified in judging or resenting them. If your thoughts shift, even slightly, to “Maybe this isn’t personal… Maybe I can handle this… Maybe it’s just a moment,” the weight starts to lift. The same situation feels lighter, your shoulders drop, and suddenly there is space to see options you could not see before. Nothing around you changed. The meeting still ran late. The email still arrived. The traffic is still there. Yet your experience of it is completely different. Think about traffic. One day it is unbearable. Another day it is just background noise. Same cars. Same road. Different headspace. It is everyday logic, yet most of us still behave as if the world has to change before we can feel better. Here is the hard truth. We cannot control people, places, things, situations, or circumstances. Your nervous system is not reacting to life itself. It is reacting to your interpretation of life. If you want a different experience, start by noticing when your mind is selling you the “it’s all terrible” story and remember, it is just a story. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Truth Isn’t What You Think It Is
You’re not at the mercy of life. You’re at the mercy of what you’re thinking about life. I know: “Yeah, but my situation is the problem.” That’s what makes this tricky. Most people don’t realize they’re thinking. They believe they’re just “seeing the truth.” If you’re ready and armed to give all the reasons, justifications, blame shifting and excuses, you’re deep into the weeds of thought. This is an example of someone that’s a problem expert, you’re focused on the wrong thing. Your nervous system isn’t reacting to your boss, your partner, the traffic, or the economy. It’s reacting to the meaning you’ve assigned to them. That meaning comes from thought. Think of two people in the same rainstorm. One feels ruined. One feels refreshed. Same weather. Different experience. It’s not about denying reality. It’s about noticing the lens you’re looking through. Because the moment you see it’s a lens, you have more than one way to see. Reflection: If my feelings are coming from my thoughts, not from life itself… what changes without the storm outside needing to pass first? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Don’t Buy What Your Mind Sells
If it feels like life is happening to you, this might sting, but it could also set you free. Your feelings aren’t coming from your job, your partner, your debt, or your family. They’re coming from the mental pop-up ads that appear when you think about those things. Thought is built-in, a beautiful gift we were given as humans. But most people misuse it. They treat every pop-up like urgent news instead of what it really is: an automated script built from past experiences, bias, and fear. You react to the ad, click on it, and suddenly you’re down an emotional rabbit hole wondering why your life isn’t where you want it to be. Pop-ups arrive by habit. Automatic. Intrusive. Often irrelevant to what’s actually in front of you. Most of the time they aren’t in alignment with your values, morals, principles or with your goals. Believing and clicking on every single one? That’s optional. You can’t stop the pop-ups, but you can stop clicking. Think of it like having an internal ad filter, the thoughts still show up, they just don’t get to hijack your emotions and you don’t take action from them. Your peace stays yours. Today, catch one mental pop-up before you click. Ask: “Is this fact, or just my mind selling me a story?” That pause is where your freedom lives. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When Silence Sends You Spinning
Ever send a vulnerable text… and get no response? Your chest tightens. Your mind races. Silence becomes a story. Here’s what happens next, not outside of you, but inside your mind: Event: You don’t get a response after sharing something real, raw and vulnerable. What path does your mind automatically take A, B or C? Silence Isn’t an Answer (But Your Mind Might Think It Is) A – The Blame Path “Of course. They don’t care. People always leave. I should’ve known better.” Feeling: Rejected, defensive, spiraling. Result: You shut down or lash out. The pain compounds. B – The Curious Path “Hm. Maybe they’re just busy. I can follow up tomorrow or just let it sit.” Feeling: Open, steady. Result: You stay grounded. No need to make it personal. C – The Empowered Path “This is just thought. I’ll notice the noise but not grip it. My peace isn’t on the line here.” Feeling: Settled, clear. Result: You move forward from center, not from fear. Same event. Three different experiences. Your experience isn’t coming from the silence. It’s coming from the story your mind tells about the silence. There’s choice in every moment of everyday life. We can’t control our thoughts. We can choose how we feel. That’s the power of seeing thought for what it is: Passing energy, not the truth, not fact. Reacting is just a habit of thought. You don’t have to believe everything your mind says. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your Mind’s the Culprit,
Not Your Life
You’re not wrong that life feels hard. You’re just misreading the source. It’s not your boss. Not your partner. Not the guy who cut you off in traffic. Those things don’t reach into your nervous system and pull the panic switch. Only one thing does: thought. And here’s the twist, thought looks like truth, but it’s just sound. Your mind is like a radio. If you don’t like the station playing, stop screaming at the tower. Change the station. Yes, you’ll still feel the static. Yes, the volume might spike. But once you realize it’s your tuner, you stop living like a victim of outside noise. Life doesn’t have to be sunny for you to be happy. Question to sit with: What station has your mind been stuck on lately? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Mental Wheel
The Hamster Wheel in Your Head Ever feel like you're exhausted but not getting anywhere? You might be stuck in thought loops. Same worries. Same interpretations. Same stories. Like a hamster sprinting in place, heart pounding, going nowhere. You think you're making progress because there's motion. But it's mental motion, not forward motion. You’re not solving anything. You’re just rehearsing your suffering. Circular thinking feels productive, like you're figuring it out. But most of the time, you're just replaying old fears, assumptions, and meanings you've never questioned. Imagine watching the same bad movie over and over, hoping the ending will change. (Groundhog Day) It won’t. Not until you change the channel. Pause. Notice the loop. Ask: What am I believing right now? What if I don’t have to chase this thought to the end? Freedom begins the moment you stop running in circles and realize you’re already free to step off the wheel. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your First thought is Lying to you
Next time someone cuts you off, pause. Catch the first thought that shows up. Maybe it’s: “What a complete moron.” (or worse names) Maybe it’s: “Oh, great. Another graduate of the School of Terrible Drivers.” Maybe it’s… something your grandma would not approve of. Now, swap it. “Maybe they didn’t see me.” “Maybe they’re rushing to the hospital.” “Maybe they’re late for a colonoscopy and things are urgent in ways I don’t want to picture.” “Not worth my peace today.” Feel the shift? Jaw unclenches. Grip loosens. Breath returns. And all that without a single thing outside of you changing. That’s the point. When you learn to edit the story your mind hands you, you stop being at the mercy of strangers, traffic, or the news. You start living from the inside out, where your state comes from what you choose to focus on, not from whatever chaos life throws your way. The benefit? Less time stewing. More energy for things you care about. A nervous system that isn’t constantly in fight‑or‑flight. And the kind of peace that’s harder to steal, because it’s not stored in other people’s behavior. Next time life cuts you off, literally or figuratively, remember: you don’t have to ride shotgun with your first thought. Fire it. Hire a better one. Your peace is too expensive to hand over to the next bad driver. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Haunted by a Story, Not Reality
Ever notice how two people can experience the exact same thing and walk away feeling completely different? That’s because we’re never reacting to raw reality. We’re reacting to the story our mind tells about it. Your boss says, “Can we talk?” Your brain writes a thriller: You’re in trouble. Stress hits. You spiral. The truth? It was about a project deadline. (neutral) Your partner walks away mid-convo. You tell yourself: They don’t care. They never listen. Now you’re pissed. Maybe they just had to pee. (neutral) Here’s the twist: Your mind is like a haunted house. The walls are filled with old echoes, past experiences, childhood fears, unchallenged beliefs. Every creak and shadow feels personal and dangerous, even when it’s just the wind. You’re not reacting to what’s actually in front of you. You’re reacting to the jump-scare your mind thinks is there. The “haunted” part? Most of these rooms were decorated years ago by other people, parents, teachers, exes, culture, tv, movies, music, and you’ve been walking through them ever since, assuming they’re reality. Blame feels like a flashlight. It gives you a quick hit of power in the dark. But it doesn’t change the fact that you’re still inside the same haunted house. Until you start questioning the story, turning on the real lights, you’ll keep jumping at shadows that were never a threat in the first place. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Peace Was Never
Out There
We spend years trying to fix what’s out there. Our partner. Our boss. Our past. Our kids Our body. Our bank account. Our parents Our friends Our neighbors Our co-workers We chase change in circumstances, convinced that once this is better, then I’ll feel better. But what if we’ve been solving the wrong problem? What if your experience isn’t coming from your life... but from your thoughts about your life? You’re not feeling your partner. You’re feeling your thinking about your partner. You’re not stressed because of your bank account. You’re stressed because of the meaning you gave it. That doesn’t mean your life doesn’t need action or change. But the internal war? That’s not caused by the situation. It’s caused by believing every thought your mind throws at you. Because here’s the quiet truth: As your thinking shifts, your feelings shift, even if nothing out there changes. So the path to peace might not start with fixing your life. It might start with noticing your thought about it. Noticing what’s actually happening… versus the story you’re living in about it. That’s the real reset. That’s what changes everything, from the inside out. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Unsubscribe the
Junk Mail
Your brain is like an email inbox. Every day, it gets flooded with messages. Some are helpful. Some are junk. Some are downright misleading. But here’s the key: you don’t control what comes in. You control what you open. Most people don’t realize this. They think because a thought showed up, it must matter. So they click on everything, every insecurity, every memory, every worst-case scenario their mind delivers. They read it, react to it, spiral from it, and wonder why they feel overwhelmed. Just like your email, not everything that arrives is worth your time, energy, or belief. Some are old patterns. Some are outdated subscriptions from childhood. Some are spam disguised as “important.” And some were never even written by you in the first place, they were copied, forwarded, or picked up from someone else. Still, you treat them like truth. You open them, believe them, and react from them without filtering. And then you say “this is just how I feel” or “this is just who I am.” When really, you just never checked the sender. You’re not reacting to reality. You’re reacting to mental emails that never got verified. You're giving your emotional passwords to any message that shows up in the inbox. Want more peace? Start here: Stop automatically opening every thought. Start asking: Who sent this? Does this need a reply? What’s the cost of clicking on this one? Peace isn’t found in inbox zero. Peace is found in knowing you’re the one with the login. You’re allowed to delete. You’re allowed to unsubscribe. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your Thoughts Are Not the Landlord
You wouldn’t hand your house keys to a stranger. So why do you keep giving your peace of mind to every thought that shows up? This isn't about learning how to control your thoughts (not possible). It's about waking up to what thought is, a transient, impersonal energy that flows through your mind in the moment. It paints your entire experience of life. Stress? Comes through thought. Joy? Comes through thought. Resentment, calm, fear, confidence, every emotional flavor gets filtered through whatever thinking is sitting on your mental windshield at the time. Here’s the twist most people miss: Not all thoughts are true. And almost none are final. They show up like door-to-door salespeople. Some are harmless. Some are pushy. Some sound wise but are dead wrong. Most are just echoes of old stories you never meant to subscribe to in the first place. And yet, we keep handing over the keys, letting fear drive, letting resentment call the shots, letting shame lock us in, as if every thought is the boss of us. So here’s the shift: You don’t need to “think positively.” You don’t need to manage or fix or fight your thoughts. You just need to see that they’re not you. That clarity? It changes everything. Because once you see a thought as a visitor, not a landlord, you stop rearranging your life around it. You stop defending it. You stop spiraling with it. You stop mistaking it for truth. You get curious instead. You breathe. You let it pass. That’s the real freedom. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Feelings Aren’t Facts
Your feelings aren’t reacting to life. They’re reacting to the story you’re telling about it. Most people think emotions are proof. Proof that something's wrong. Proof that someone crossed a line. Proof that they’re not being valued, heard, loved, or respected. Here’s the thing, feelings don’t show up on their own. They follow thought. And thought doesn’t always ask if it’s true before it starts shouting. Your nervous system isn’t reacting to what happened. It’s reacting to what your mind said it meant. That silence in the room? One person thinks, “They’re mad at me.” Another thinks, “They’re just preoccupied.” Same silence. Two different emotional storms, only because of the story behind it. Feelings are not the enemy. They’re messengers. They bring you the plot your brain has been writing, sometimes non-consciously, often out of habit. And if that plot is built on old pain, assumptions, or fear? The feelings will reflect that, not reality. Not facts. This doesn’t mean your emotions aren’t real. Every feeling is valid, it’s connected to thoughts that are ruining untamed. They’re real signals. Alerts. Alarms. Old beliefs. Old stories unchecked. Signals based on the channel you’re watching and believing. Change the channel, and the story changes. Question the story, you change the experience. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Peace Was
Never Gone
You don’t earn it by fixing your life. You don’t chase it like a reward for getting things “right.” And you don’t lose it when things go wrong. Peace is your baseline, your original setting. Like the sun, it doesn’t vanish. It just gets temporarily covered. What’s the cloud? Thought. Specifically: thought you believe without question. Noticing a thought isn’t the issue. It’s when you buy in, treating a passing idea like a concrete truth, that the spiral begins. The anxious thought says: “This will never get better.” You believe it. You tense up. The blaming thought says: “They’re the reason I feel this way.” You believe it. You lash out. The shame thought says: “Something’s wrong with me.” You believe it. You shut down. You’re not reacting to the world. You’re reacting to the meaning your mind added. The Foggy Windshield Tasha was driving to work, late, tense, dreading a meeting. Traffic crawled. Her inbox was stacked. Her mind was spinning: “Why does everything feel so hard?” “Nobody gets how much pressure I’m under.” “I should’ve planned better.” Her chest tightened. Peace? Gone. Then the sun cut through the clouds. She noticed her windshield was fogged. That was the moment. She turned on the defroster. Slowly, the view cleared. And with it, so did her panic. Nothing outside had changed. The traffic. The meeting. The inbox. All still there. But inside? Different weather. She saw it clearly It wasn’t the day that overwhelmed her. It was the meaning she had layered onto it. Not the event. The thought about the event. And when she stopped gripping her thoughts like gospel, peace returned. Not because she earned it. Because it was always there just waiting behind the fog. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Neutral words. Charged response.
Imagine someone says: “You look tired.” A simple, neutral observation. Now watch what the mind does: Person A thinks, “They care about me.” Their nervous system softens. They feel seen, maybe even comforted. Emotion: Warmth. Response: Connection. Person B thinks, “Wow, do I look that bad?” Their brain scans for flaws. Self-consciousness kicks in. Emotion: Embarrassment. Response: Withdrawal. Person C thinks, “They always have something negative to say.” Past memories get activated. Defenses go up. Emotion: Resentment. Response: Distance. (have you been person ab or c recently?) Same sentence. Three different realities. Why? Because we don’t respond to words. We respond to the meaning we attach to them. And most of that meaning? It’s not conscious. It’s filtered through: Our insecurities Our memories Our current emotional state Our assumptions about the speaker Our past wounds and stories The words weren’t the problem. Our interpretation is. We take something neutral, and personalize it. We add story, judgment, and emotional weight. And then we blame the other person for how we feel. What’s really happening? We’re constantly assigning meaning to every interaction. And often, we confuse our interpretation with truth. Here’s the kicker: None of these interpretations were “right.” They were just different lenses. This is how two people can walk away from the same conversation with completely different emotional takeaways. So what’s the takeaway? Words don’t hurt. What you think about the words does. You’re not reacting to what was said. You’re reacting to the story your mind created about it. The emotional mess isn’t coming from the interaction. It’s coming from how personal your mind made it. Want less chaos in your relationships? Learn to notice the meaning your mind adds. Then ask: Is that the only way to see this? Or is it just my default lens? Because peace doesn’t come from other people saying the “right” things. It comes from your ability to see thought for what it is, a passing story, not the final word. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your thoughts are the lens.
Your emotions are the weather.
"You don’t feel what’s happening. You feel what you’re thinking about what’s happening." You don’t feel events directly. You feel your thought-created perception of those events in every single moment of every day. Thought acts like a filter between reality and your nervous system. Your body doesn’t respond to life directly, it responds to the meaning you give it, moment to moment. That’s why two people can live through the same situation and have totally different emotional reactions. It's not the event. It’s the interpretation. You’re not feeling the situation.(I know we were conditioned to believe that) You’re feeling your thinking about the situation. It’s not the event. It’s the story your mind tells about it. And that story? It can shift. Which means how you feel can shift too, even if nothing outside of you changes. Imagine you’re wearing tinted sunglasses. You think the world is dark, maybe even stormy. But it’s not the sky, it’s the lens. Your mind works the same way. You don’t feel reality as it is. You feel it through the lens of your thoughts. Different lens, different emotional weather. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
She Reacted to a Thought
Tasha had been looking forward to dinner all week. It had been a stressful stretch at work for both of them, and she wanted to reconnect. She lit a candle, picked a spot with their favorite dishes, and even changed outfits twice. Not because she felt pressured, but because she cared. She wanted to feel close again. When her partner arrived, she felt a flicker of anticipation. But almost immediately, she noticed something was off. He smiled briefly, then glanced down at his phone. A few minutes into dinner, she noticed he was not making eye contact. When she brought up something funny that happened earlier in the day, he gave a distracted “Oh, nice” without really responding. She tried again. A different topic. Another story. Still distracted. By the time the appetizer arrived, her stomach was in knots. Her face was calm, but her inner dialogue was loud and sharp. “This doesn’t matter to him.” “He’s bored. With me. With us.” “I go out of my way to show up and it still isn’t enough.” “I guess I care more than he does.” The rest of the meal felt hollow. Her heart was closed. Her mind had made its decision. And here’s the part that matters most: Her pain felt real. Her disappointment was real. Her shutdown was real. But the source of the pain? That was NOT her partner’s behavior. It was the meaning she attached to it. It was the movie playing in her mind. What Tasha did not know was that her partner had just gotten a stressful message about a project deadline that might affect his entire team and his career. He was trying not to bring it into the evening, not realizing that his silence was doing exactly that. He had no clue she was hurt. He thought she was just tired. Tasha was not reacting to her partner. She was reacting to her perception of his behavior. And her perception was filtered through hope, expectation, vulnerability, and fear. This is what happens when we forget we are living inside our own mind. We watch a movie written by our past experiences and emotional memory, and we project it onto the people around us. Then we feel the emotions that come from that projection and call them facts. She felt dismissed, not because he dismissed her, but because she interpreted his distraction as disinterest. She spiraled, not because he said something cruel, but because she assumed his silence meant he didn’t care. We all do this. Every day. We fill in the blanks. We assign meaning. Personalize things that are neutral. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Who’s holding the remote to your emotions?
Imagine your emotions are controlled by a remote. You’ve got the power. You decide the channel, the volume, the pause, the skip, the full experience of what you tune into. Now picture this… Someone says something that hits a nerve, rude, dismissive, judgmental. Without even thinking, you hand them the remote and say, “Here. You control how I feel now.” They walk away, maybe not even noticing the effect, but you're left stewing. And every time you see them? Or remember what they did? You hand the remote over again. And again. And again. You’re not just giving it away once. You’re giving them season pass access to your inner world. That grudge you’re holding? It’s like taping the remote to their hand and saying, “Even in your absence, I’ll keep replaying this channel.” They don’t even have to be in the room to mess with your mood anymore. They live rent-free in your emotional living room, flipping through your feelings like it’s cable. And let’s be honest, half the time they don’t even know. You’re the one stuck rewatching the same scene on repeat. So the question becomes: Are you ready to take the remote back? Because real power isn’t found in controlling what other people say or do. It’s found in realizing: They never held the remote to begin with. You just forgot you could reach for it. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Blame Feels Powerful,
Until It Doesn't
Your experience isn’t coming from them. It’s coming through you. That person who drives you nuts? They’re not injecting feelings into your body. Your thoughts about them are. Wishing someone would "step on a Lego" every morning is just your personal frustration looking for an outlet. It might feel justified, you probably have a long list of reasons why they deserve a taste of their own medicine. But your pain? It’s not coming from their behavior. It’s coming from what your mind makes it mean. Here’s the kicker: If you believe someone else has the power to make you miserable… You’re also believing they have the power to make you happy. But you can’t force anyone to change. So now what? You’re stuck, miserable, powerless, frustrated, disappointed, maybe even furious. That’s the trap of righteous blame. It feels like strength, but it’s actually emotional outsourcing. Want your power back? Stop handing people the keys to your emotional life. Peace isn’t found in changing them, it’s found in seeing how you’re creating your experience in the first place. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Peace is an inside job
Would you hand your house keys to a stranger just because they knocked? No way. So why hand over your peace of mind to every thought that shows up uninvited? Thoughts will come, wild ones, painful ones, dramatic ones. That’s normal. What’s optional is believing every single one of them. Letting them move in, redecorate your mood, and take control of your emotional thermostat? That’s on us. Here’s the truth most people don’t want to hear: You don’t have to feel everything your mind offers. Just because a thought shows up doesn’t mean it deserves your full emotional attention. Thoughts are like clouds passing through the sky, some light and fluffy, others dark and stormy, but none of them can force you to feel anything without your permission. You can pause, breathe, and choose how you want to respond. That gap between thought and reaction? That’s where your power lives. This isn’t about suppressing or avoiding your emotions. It’s about understanding where they actually come from. Your feelings don’t come from what someone said, or what’s happening around you, they come from what you’re thinking about what happened. Every emotion you feel starts as a thought in your mind. The outside world doesn’t inject you with stress, sadness, or shame. Your interpretation does that. Which means you’re never at the mercy of your circumstances, you’re simply responding to the meaning you’ve given them. Owning your feelings means recognizing that no one else is holding the remote to your inner world unless you hand it over. And when you see that? You stop blaming, and complaining, you start breathing, and finally reclaim the peace that was never actually lost, just buried under belief. Recognizing that how you feel isn’t a product of your partner’s tone, your coworker’s email, or the news headline. It’s a product of what thought you’re tuning into, and what story you’re telling yourself. That’s power. That’s freedom. Stop renting your peace to every mental squatter. It’s your emotional home. Start acting like the landlord. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Movie In Your Mind
Sarah dreaded Mondays. Her stomach would tighten as she walked into the office, her mind already rehearsing how the weekly team meeting might go. Her boss had a sharp tongue, quick to point out mistakes in front of everyone. Each comment felt like a tiny dagger: “You really missed the mark on that,” “Did you even think this through?” Sarah left those meetings feeling small, deflated, and convinced her confidence was crumbling under his relentless criticism. In her head, the story was clear: “He makes me feel this way. He’s the reason I doubt myself. He’s the reason I can’t speak up anymore.” Then one Monday, her boss called in sick. There would be no meeting. No jabs. No critical tone slicing through the air. Sarah stayed home that day, sitting at her kitchen table with a cup of tea. Logically, she should have felt relief. Her “trigger” wasn’t there. Yet her chest was still tight. Her thoughts were racing, rehearsing how their next meeting might go. She replayed old conversations, hearing his voice in her head as clearly as if he were standing there. And then it hit her, like a glass shattering on the floor. “Wait… he’s not even here. He’s not saying anything. Why do I still feel this?” For the first time, Sarah saw it. The anxiety wasn’t coming from him. It never was. It wasn’t stored in the sound of his voice or locked in the four walls of that conference room. It was coming from the movie playing in her mind, her own thoughts, the meaning she makes out of it, the looping, vivid, convincing. And every time she replayed his words, gathered “evidence” of his flaws, or vented about him to coworkers, she unknowingly hit play on the reel again. Each blame-filled thought kept her locked in the theater, watching the same painful scenes on repeat. Here’s the thing, this realization doesn’t condone her boss’s behavior. It doesn’t excuse poor leadership or mean she shouldn’t address what’s happening. It simply points to this: Her suffering didn’t come from what he said once. It came from her mind keeping the conversation alive a hundred times after. The real villain wasn’t him, it was believing he held the power to create her feelings. She can’t force him to be different, likely it will cause more challenges. In that quiet moment, Sarah realized something radical: “If it’s my thought movie, maybe I don’t have to keep watching it.” And from there, for the first time in years, she felt the tiniest crack of freedom. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Your inner critic is a heckler
What if the voice in your head wasn’t your truth, but a cranky old man in his underwear? There’s a woman who, for years, carried a leather-bound journal everywhere she went. It wasn’t full of dreams, gratitude lists, or affirmations, no. This journal was a catalogue of every harsh, cutting thing her inner voice hurled at her in a day. “You’re failing.” “Of course they don’t respect you, why would they?” “You’ll never get out of this mess. You’re too far gone.” She thought writing them down would help her gain control over them. But instead, it felt like she was etching them into stone. She would read the pages back at night, and the words, her own words, sank into her chest like heavy stones. She believed every single one. And the more she believed, the more she withdrew, stuck in cycles of blame, despair, and self-punishment. Then one morning, after a sleepless night spent wrestling with a fresh wave of self-criticism, something strange happened. She was sitting on her couch, staring blankly at the wall, when she imagined the voice as an actual person. He appeared in her mind’s eye as a drunk grumpy old man, beer belly, messy hair, wearing nothing but saggy underwear and mismatched socks. He was sitting in her living room recliner, yelling at the TV about politics and how “nothing’s ever gonna change.” She watched him toss popcorn at the screen, scowling and muttering, “You’ll never get it right. Why even try?” She blinked, almost laughing. Wait a second. This is the guy I’ve been letting run my life? This cranky, out-of-touch houseguest? In that moment, something cracked open. She realized she didn’t have to believe every word he said. He could yell all he wanted, but she didn’t have to argue, serve him tea, or even let him choose the channel. From then on, whenever those old thoughts arose “You’re not enough,” “You’re screwing it all up” she pictured him in his underwear, shouting into the void. “Ah. There he is again,” she’d say softly. And she’d go about her day. The moral? Not every thought is a truth. Not every voice in your head deserves a microphone. You can’t always stop the noise, but you can stop handing it the keys to your life. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
What’s the movie you keep blaming?
Are you holding someone else responsible for a movie playing in your mind? You’re sitting in a dark theater, popcorn in hand, eyes glued to the screen. The story unfolds. You laugh. You cry. Your chest tightens during a suspenseful scene. You might even jump in your seat when something unexpected happens. It feels so real. Your heart’s pounding. Your palms are sweaty. Your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between “real life” and this projected illusion. But pause. Look closer... Nothing on that screen is physically reaching out to touch you. No actor is stepping off the screen to grab your heart and squeeze it. No villain is climbing out of the projector to make you angry. It’s all light and sound, bouncing off a blank wall. The truth? Your entire emotional experience is happening inside you. Your mind sees the images, hears the sounds, and spins a story. That story pulls you in, and your feelings respond, not to the screen, but to the meaning your mind creates around it. Now imagine blaming the movie: “It’s the actor’s fault I’m crying.” “It’s the villain’s fault I’m furious.” “If only they wrote a happier ending, I wouldn’t feel this way.” Sounds ridiculous, right? But here’s the real question: Where in your life are you doing this? Where are you blaming, complaining, or waiting for something outside you to change, without realizing it’s just the movie in your mind? Are you caught up in a storyline that isn’t actually reaching out and touching you? Yet this is exactly what we do. We believe other people’s words, actions, or moods cause our feelings. “They made me angry.” “They made me feel unloved.” “They ruined my day.” Just like the movie screen, other people’s behavior is just light and sound. It can’t crawl into your mind and inject emotions into you. Your feelings aren’t coming from them, they’re coming from your mind engaging with the “story” of what’s happening. When you really see this, it doesn’t mean you’ll stop feeling things. The movie might still make you cry. Life might still sting sometimes. But you’ll stop trying to control the screen. You’ll stop handing other people the remote to your emotions. You’ll remember, your peace, your joy, your power, has never lived out there. It’s been here all along. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s never the traffic, It’s always the thought about the traffic
It really looks like other people hold the remote to your emotions, their tone turns up your anger, their silence turns down your peace, their approval cranks up your joy. Pause for a second. What’s actually happening? You’re not feeling them. You’re feeling thought in the moment, your mind’s lightning-fast interpretation of what’s going on. Your brain doesn’t hand you a clean, objective “readout” of reality. It hands you a story. A movie. Complete with a script, dramatic music, and an Oscar-worthy performance from… you. Their silence? Not inherently stressful. It’s your mind whispering, “They’re rejecting you. They’re angry. You messed up again.” that creates the knot in your stomach. Their approval? Not joy itself. It’s your thought, “I must be lovable, I’m finally enough because they like me,” that gives you the rush. See it? The world isn’t making you feel anything. It’s your thinking about the world that’s painting your emotional landscape, moment to moment. Here’s the kicker: It was never out there. It never could be. The entire emotional experience is generated within you. That’s good news! Because if it’s created inside… It’s within your power to work on it, that’s where freedom and happiness lives too. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It Has Nothing To Do With Them
It really looks like other people hold the remote to your emotions, their tone turns up your anger, their silence turns down your peace, their approval cranks up your joy. Pause for a second. What’s actually happening? You’re not feeling them. You’re feeling thought in the moment, your mind’s lightning-fast interpretation of what’s going on. Your brain doesn’t hand you a clean, objective “readout” of reality. It hands you a story. A movie. Complete with a script, dramatic music, and an Oscar-worthy performance from… you. Their silence? Not inherently stressful. It’s your mind whispering, “They’re rejecting you. They’re angry. You messed up again.” that creates the knot in your stomach. Their approval? Not joy itself. It’s your thought, “I must be lovable, I’m finally enough because they like me,” that gives you the rush. See it? The world isn’t making you feel anything. It’s your thinking about the world that’s painting your emotional landscape, moment to moment. Here’s the kicker: It was never out there. It never could be. The entire emotional experience is generated within you. That’s good news! Because if it’s created inside… It’s within your power to work on it, that’s where freedom and happiness lives too. “Think happy thoughts and feel happy. Think sad thoughts and feel sad. What’s the lesson?” isn’t saying force positive thinking. It’s pointing to something deeper: Your feelings don’t come from people, events, or circumstances. They’re coming from the thoughts your mind is serving up about those things, moment to moment. It’s not: “They hurt me so I feel bad.” It’s: “I’m thinking painful thoughts about what they said, so I feel bad.” This isn’t about blame or toxic positivity. It’s about realizing your emotional world is self-generated, not injected into you by others. The good news? If it’s thought-created, you’re not at the mercy of people, situations, or your past to feel okay. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s not them.
It’s not the situation.
It’s not the world.
It’s your mind.
No one’s climbing inside your brain and pressing the ‘feel bad’ button. So where are your feelings really coming from? No one and nothing “makes” you feel a certain way. Not their words. Not their actions. Not even the chaos around you. Every word you say. Every reaction you have. Every feeling in your body… it’s not coming from them, that situation, or the world “out there.” It’s all coming from one place: thought in the moment. Yes, the outside world can trigger a thought. It can seem like it’s making you feel bad, sad, or mad. But it’s never the source. Your mind is creating your experience in real time. That’s why your mood can shift without anything external changing. One moment you’re tense, the next calm. Same world. Different thoughts. This isn’t about excusing bad behavior, you can’t control what others think, do, or believe. It’s not about pretending hard things aren’t real either. It’s about seeing where your experience is actually being created. Because when you do, you realize: You’re not at the mercy of people or circumstances. Your peace, clarity, and freedom don’t live out there. They’ve been inside you all along. Imagine living from that place, not just knowing it, but feeling it. What would change? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Someone Living Rent Free in your Head?
Picture this: Claire works in a busy office. She’s great at her job, respected by her boss, and her clients love her. Most days, she’s calm, focused, and even enjoys the chaos of her fast-paced environment. Except for Tuesdays. Every Tuesday there’s a big team meeting, and every Tuesday Claire finds herself dreading one thing: Angela. Angela, the coworker who sighs loudly when Claire speaks. The one who rolls her eyes, mutters under her breath, and seems to take a perverse joy in shutting down ideas. Claire swears Angela ruins her whole day. By noon, Claire’s stomach is in knots. She replays Angela’s dismissive tone in her mind over and over. She imagines what Angela must be thinking about her: “She probably thinks I’m an idiot. Maybe I am. Why do I even bother speaking up?” By 3 PM, Claire’s barely getting any work done. Her brain feels like it’s in a fog. Every little thing grates on her, her email inbox, her ringing phone, even her coworker laughing in the next cubicle. By the time she gets home, she’s exhausted and snappy with her partner. One day Claire’s friend Mia, someone with an uncanny ability to cut through drama, asks her a question. “Can Angela climb into your brain and press the ‘annoyed’ button?” Claire blinks. “What?” “You keep saying Angela ruins your day. I’m asking, does she have some kind of superpower to control your mood from across the table?” Claire laughs, but the question lingers. Later that night, lying awake, she replays the day. Was it really Angela that ruined her day… or her own mind spinning stories about Angela? The next Tuesday, Claire decides to try something. She notices her thoughts as Angela sighs and rolls her eyes “There she goes again. Typical. She hates me.” Then she catches herself. Wait. That’s a thought. Not a fact. Angela can’t press an annoying button in my brain! She lets the typical thoughts play out without managing, controlling them or getting triggered by them. She brings her focus back to her body. Back to how she wants to feel. Calm, present, curious, open, patient, light, peaceful, resilient, and at ease. This time, Angela’s behavior barely registers. Claire notices, sure, but there’s no emotional punch. No spiral. No ruined day. No residue. Angela didn’t change. She was still Angela. The only thing different was Claire’s relationship with her own thoughts. This is what most of us don’t see: It’s not people, situations, or circumstances creating our feelings, it’s the meaning our mind layers on top of them. Angela’s sigh wasn’t a dagger aimed at Claire. It was air moving through vocal cords. Claire’s brain gave it meaning, and that meaning created the feeling. On days her mind was busy and reactive, Angela’s behavior felt personal and unbearable. On days her mind was quiet and present, Angela’s behavior barely made a ripple. Same external reality. Different internal state. Totally different experience. We all have our “Angelas.” The driver who cuts us off. The partner who forgets to text back. The friend who cancels plans. The barista that messes up the order. It feels like they’re reaching into our emotional control panel and pushing buttons. But the truth? No one can climb inside your head and inject frustration, sadness, or anger. Your experience isn’t traveling from “out there” to “in here.” It’s being generated from the inside out, moment to moment, by thought. Thought isn’t always obvious. It doesn’t announce itself with a loudspeaker. It shows up as feelings, as physical tension, as a heavy fog that makes life feel hard. But feelings are like an emotional check-engine light. They’re pointing not to Angela, or your partner, or the traffic… but to your own state of mind. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The moment you see where your feelings are really coming from… everything changes
Life isn’t happening to you. Your thoughts about life are. Can you spot the difference? Pause for a second. Feel that? That wave of emotion, frustration, sadness, even excitement. It’s so easy to believe it’s coming from the world around you. From what your partner said. From the email your boss sent. From the bills, the scale, the silence after your text. The quiet truth: life is happening out there… and your experience of it is being created inside out in your mind. Your thoughts are painting a picture moment by moment, sometimes soft and light, sometimes dark and heavy. And because those thoughts feel real, it makes sense that we live as if we’re at the mercy of life’s events. What happens when you see it’s thought creating the feeling, not the event itself? You stop being a victim of circumstances. You stop needing the outside to change to find your peace. And you start noticing that your mind will settle all on its own, when you allow it. Try this: Next time a strong feeling rises, ask gently “What story is my mind telling right now? What if this is just a thought?” This is where freedom begins, not in controlling life, but in seeing through the illusion. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Are you seeing reality, or just the house of mirrors
Imagine walking into a carnival house of mirrors. Everywhere you turn, your reflection is stretched, twisted, upside down. The walls seem to bend. The floor feels slanted. Suddenly it feels like there’s no way out. Your heart races. You panic. It feels so real. Here’s the truth: the mirrors aren’t reality. They’re distortions, illusions, reflections of light bouncing off warped glass. The walls aren’t actually bending. The floor isn’t tilting. You don’t suddenly have stubby little legs, a gigantic forehead, and a torso that looks like it belongs in a funhouse documentary. You’re not actually an alien-human hybrid with one enormous hand and a head shaped like a lightbulb. The moment you realize this, everything changes. You don’t need to smash the mirrors. You don’t need to fight your way out. You simply stop believing the reflections are real. And in that instant, the door you thought was hidden appears, clear, obvious, waiting for you. Our mind works the same way. It creates stories, fears, judgments, and projections, like those distorted reflections. Sure, they feel real. They trigger your nervous system, tighten your chest, cloud your vision. But they’re not reality. They’re thought in the moment, passing through your consciousness like images on a screen. When you see this for yourself, in real time, in your own life is when you really understand how mind, thought, and consciousness work, it’s like stepping out of the house of mirrors. You realize: You were never trapped. You were never broken. The world didn’t need to change for you to feel safe and clear, you only needed to see through the illusion. That’s the power of insight. It doesn’t fix the mirrors. It shows you they were never the problem. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
What if you’re not stuck? You’re just lost in thought.
The feeling of being stuck, unhappy, or overwhelmed isn’t coming from life itself, it’s coming from the thinking about life. Life doesn’t happen “to” us emotionally. It unfolds outside, but our experience of it is created inside, moment to moment, by each thought. When thought changes (and it always does, naturally), our feelings shift too. Without anything external moving an inch. We don’t need to fix our life to feel better. We need to see where the feelings are really coming from. “It makes sense it feels that way.” Imagine you’re wearing a pair of hyper-realistic VR goggles. The program running is so advanced, it’s simulating a terrifying scene, you’re standing on the edge of a crumbling skyscraper during an earthquake. You look down. The ground is a dizzying drop hundreds of feet below. You hear glass shattering. Sirens blaring. You feel the floor tilt under your feet. Your heart races. Your palms sweat. Your chest tightens like a vice. Your nervous system is fully convinced: “I’m in danger.” Now pause. If someone standing next to you, not wearing the headset, asked, “What’s wrong? You’re safe. You’re standing in your living room!" You might say: “Safe? Can’t you see what’s happening?! The building’s collapsing!” To you, it feels absolutely real. But the moment you lift the goggles, even for a second, the earthquake vanishes. The sounds stop. The floor steadies. You’re standing in the quiet of your living room. Your body calms. Not because the room changed, it never did. Not because you fixed anything in the VR program, you didn’t. It’s because you woke up to the fact it was never real in the first place. Your imagination created the illusion. This is what happens with thought. We wear “thought goggles” all day long. When we’re stuck in anxious, angry, or resentful thinking, life feels like it’s crumbling. Our emotions spike. Our nervous system reacts as if the story we’re telling ourselves is reality. “He disrespected me.” “I’ll never get out of this job.” “My life is a mess.” It feels as true as that collapsing skyscraper. The game changer: Thoughts are just like VR goggles momentary projections. They’re immersive, convincing, but not the actual room you’re standing in. The moment your thinking shifts, even slightly, it’s like taking the goggles off. The intensity fades. Clarity returns. And nothing in the outside world had to change. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
You don’t have to change your life, just see it differently.
We’re funny creatures, aren’t we? We’re taught, programmed and conditioned to believe that if life doesn’t feel good, we need to do more. Fix more. Improve more. So we make lists. We chase weight loss goals. We update our wardrobes. We aim for promotions, new houses, new partners, more recognition. We collect gold stars in the form of likes, titles, degrees, and compliments. All with this quiet hope whispering underneath: “When I get there… then I’ll finally feel okay. Then I’ll feel enough. Then I’ll be happy.” No one ever teaches us… That feeling you’re seeking? It was never hiding in the number on the scale. Or in someone else’s validation. Or in a nicer kitchen backsplash. It’s been in you all along. You see, life isn’t lived out there. It’s felt in inside. In the quiet space of your own mind, where thought creates the movie of your reality, frame by frame, moment by moment. Change doesn’t mean rewriting every line of the story you’re living. It’s not about tearing out chapters, changing the characters, or forcing a perfect plot twist. It’s about realizing… You’re not the story. You’re the blank page it’s written on, vast, unmarked, untouched by the ink, no matter how dramatic or messy the words get. When you see that, you stop trying to edit every paragraph or control how the next scene unfolds. You see the story for what it is: thoughts flowing through, not who you are. The calm you were searching for in the perfect ending? It’s always been on the page. When you start to see differently, the weight on your shoulders lightens. That tight knot in your chest unravels. The urgency releases the grip over you. You stop trying to fix, manage, change, bend the plot, and instead, you let yourself flow with it. Suddenly, without needing the world to cooperate, peace shows up. Joy returns. Clarity dawns. Peace of mind surfaces. Not because you changed your life… But because you saw it with fresh eyes. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
They didn’t ruin your day.
Your thinking did.
You’re not actually feeling your boss. You’re not feeling traffic. You’re not even feeling your partner. You’re feeling your THINKING about them. It’s so subtle we don’t even notice… and no one teaches us how to. This is my gift. I help people see where they’re tangled in thought loops and old patterns. Then I walk with them out of the mental vortex, into clarity, peace, and a whole new way of seeing life. One moment, life feels heavy, messy, impossible, and in the next, without anything “out there” changing, a sense of calm washes over. Ever wondered WHY? It’s because the outside world isn’t what’s creating your experience. It never was. It’s the lens of thought, alive and moving, painting reality for you in every moment. Think about it. The same boss. The same email. The same partner. Some days it rolls off your back. Some days it sends you spiraling. What’s different? Not them. Not reality. Only the thought passing through your mind. Thought is like weather, ever-changing, never permanent. A storm might feel endless while you’re in it, but clear skies are always behind it. You don’t need to fight the storm. Just knowing it’s not the sky itself is enough. The more you see this for yourself, the lighter life feels. You don’t need new circumstances to feel peace. You don’t need people to behave differently to feel love. You don’t even need “positive thinking.” You only need to see that what you’re feeling is thought. See that.. I mean really see it, experience it, and peace starts bubbling up on its own. You’re free the second you notice. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
They didn’t steal your peace.
You handed it to them.
Ever had a day where one email ruined everything? You open a cc’d email at 6 AM, two whole hours before you’re clocked in. The email appears to be passive-aggressive. Dripping with undertones. Your stomach tightens. Shoulders tense. You replay it in your head all morning. By noon, you’re snappy with coworkers. By 3 PM, your energy’s gone. “See? My boss ruined my day.” Let’s look closer: At noon, was the email still there? Was it jumping out of your inbox and strangling you? No. The email was long gone, deleted maybe. What was there at noon was your thinking about the email. The replay. The rumination. The blame. The complaining. The “what’s right or wrong” in the situation. The imaginary comeback arguments. The “how dare they” loop. If the email itself was the villain, wouldn’t every single person on the CC feel the same way? Spoiler: they didn’t. Because they weren’t living in your thoughts about it. That’s how it works. We don’t feel people. We don’t feel emails. We don’t feel traffic, rude comments, or deadlines. We feel our thinking about these moment to moment. This isn’t about excusing bad behavior. It’s about seeing where your experience actually comes from. The second you see that, you stop handing over your emotional remote control to everyone and everything around you. Freedom doesn’t come from fixing or demanding your boss act and behave differently. It comes from realizing the boss isn’t holding the strings, you’re not a puppet. Your thoughts are creating your suffering. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
I spent years giving the world power over my peace…
I used to believe the way I felt was because of everything outside of me. I thought my emotions were tied to how others behaved, the text that was left on read with no response, the email that felt sharp or distant, the phone call that never came. I blamed the weather for my mood, the gray skies for my heaviness or the sunshine for my sudden burst of energy. I blamed my job for my stress. My family for my frustration. My relationships for my sadness. Road construction for ruining my day. Even a passing rude comment from a stranger had the power to steal my peace. It felt like I was walking through life on a leash, pulled and yanked in every direction by the world around me. I mean, how could I not believe that? I could justify and give loads of evidence for how it “made me feel.” My mood seemed to rise and fall with the people, places, and situations around me. Of course I thought the outside world was in charge, it looked that way my whole life. It’s reinforced in the movies, tv and conversations every day. And honestly? It makes sense. It was the only way I knew to explain why life felt so unpredictable, like peace was always just one perfect set of circumstances away. My inner state felt like a mirror of whatever was happening "out there." If things were calm, I felt calm. If people were kind, I felt important. If life was going my way, I felt okay. If I was appreciated, I felt safe. If I was acknowledged, I felt seen. The second something shifted, the plans fell through, the tone of someone’s voice changed, or the world threw another curveball, I was knocked off center. I thought this was just how life worked. React. Respond. Hope for the best. But I was wrong. The truth is, we are always living in an inside-out experience, NOT outside-in. Our feelings don’t come from the unanswered text, the cold email, the missed phone call. They don’t come from what our partner did or didn’t say, from our boss’s bad mood, from the traffic jam on the way home, or even from the shoes the dog chewed on. Our feelings come from thought. From the story our mind spins in every single moment about what’s happening. Two people can hear the same words, live in the same house, work the same job, or walk through the same storm, and yet feel completely different. Why? Because it’s not people, places, things, situations, or circumstances that create our emotional reality, it’s the meaning, the interpretation, and the personalization the mind assigns to them. This realization (not just in a logical way, a visceral way) was both unsettling and freeing. Unsettling because it stripped away my excuses. I could no longer pin my peace, my happiness, or my clarity on anything or anyone outside of me. No more blaming. No more waiting. No more giving the world so much power over my internal state. Freeing because it meant I didn’t have to wait for the world to behave, for people to change, or for circumstances to align perfectly before I could feel okay. Peace was already here. Joy was already possible. Clarity was already within reach. Happiness is indeed something I can create and foster at any moment, and no one can take that from me. Because it’s an inside job. It always has been. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
What if love isn’t fixing, advising, or saving?
What if love is quiet, soft, and strong enough to let them feel? Sarah loved her people fiercely, her husband, her teenage daughter, even her best friend who called every week with some kind of drama. But somewhere along the line, “love” started to feel like exhaustion. Every sigh from her husband made her ask, “What’s wrong?” Every slammed door from her daughter sent her into problem-solving mode. Every long text from her friend turned into an unsolicited advice column. Sarah thought she was helping. She thought she was holding everything together. But truthfully? She was tired. Tired of carrying the emotional weight of everyone she cared about. One Thursday afternoon, Sarah went out for a walk. Earbuds in, hoodie pulled tight, trying to drown out her own swirling thoughts with a podcast. She half-listened until the host said something that stopped her mid-step: “People don’t always need fixing. They need space to feel, and someone safe enough to feel it with.” It hit her like a brick. She laughed out loud, partly because it stung. “Oh crap… I do that. I treat my family like they’re broken machines. And I’m the repair technician on call 24/7.” That night, she tried something radical. She didn’t ask her husband why he was quiet. She didn’t tell her daughter to “just talk about it” after school. She didn’t reply to her friend’s dramatic text with a 500-word pep talk. She just… stopped. Stopped over-listening. Stopped trying to rescue them. Stopped managing everyone's feelings. Stopped over performing and fixing. Stopped playing emotional air traffic control for everyone’s storms. And something surprising happened. Her husband spoke up later that evening: "You’ve been really chill today. It’s nice." Her daughter came and plopped on her bed: "Mom… you awake?" Her friend sent a follow-up text: "Thanks for letting me vent. I feel lighter now." Here’s what Sarah saw: The people she loved weren’t exhausting her. She realized her mind had been running a constant narrative: “It’s my job and responsibility to manage everyone and if everyone is happy I will be happy once and for all...” After years of trying to do this it not only didn’t work it was exhausting. And the second she stopped believing these thoughts… her presence softened. The tension in her home wasn’t coming from her husband’s silence, her daughter’s door slams, or her friend’s drama. It was coming from the way her mind interpreted those things. When her thinking settled, so did her energy. And when her energy settled, the people around her felt it too. This is the quiet power of seeing thought for what it really is. You don’t have to fix, rescue, or manage the people you love. You don’t even have to change them. The only thing that needs to change is the way you’re holding their emotions in your own mind. When your mind clears, your presence does too. And often, that’s all they needed. It’s never really about them. It’s about how our urgent thoughts about their moods pull us out of presence. The moment we drop the thought, “They shouldn’t feel this way”, we show up differently, calmer, softer, more magnetic. And that’s the energy that changes everything. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The noise isn’t the problem. The story in your head is.
Funny how two people can sit in the exact same place, and have completely different experiences. Seeing this will prove that the thoughts we think and believe at any moment are what bring flavor to every situation and how it’s an illusion. It’s never really about the noise. Or the coffee. Or the baby crying at the next table. Your feelings don’t come from the café. They come from the commentary running in your mind while you’re in the café. Picture this: Two people sit side by side in a bustling coffee shop. The espresso machine hisses and clanks. Chatter hums like a low-frequency buzz. A baby cries in staccato bursts at the next table. Everyone’s footsteps echo on the old hardwood floors. Baristas call out orders over the coffee bar. One person tenses. Their jaw tightens. “Ugh. It’s so loud in here. I can’t think straight. Why did I even bother coming?” The other sips their latte, smiling faintly. “This place feels so alive. I love the energy—the noise is almost… comforting.” Same café. Same noise. Same moment. Two completely different realities. It wasn’t the café creating their emotions. It wasn’t the noise or the crying baby. It was the meaning their minds attached to it. Here’s the thing: Our minds are like little story factories. Endlessly narrating. Labeling. Judging. Personalizing, deciding what everything means. And most of the time? We don’t even notice it happening. We think we’re reacting to the world. The traffic jam. The unread text. The messy house. The tone in someone’s voice. We’re really reacting to the thoughts we’re believing about the world. Not the crying baby. Not the loud barista. Not even the bad Wi-Fi. Just the story we’re spinning in real time. What if the coffee shop was just… a coffee shop? What if nothing outside you had to change for you to feel okay? What if peace wasn’t something to find, but something you uncover when the stories quiet down? Here’s the kicker: This isn’t just about cafés. The “café” could be anything. Your partner’s silence. Your boss’s email. Your child’s messy room. Your bank account. Your mother-in law. Same circumstances. Different thoughts. Completely different experiences. So the real question is: What’s your mind narrating right now? What’s something in your life that might not be “the café”… but the story you’re telling about it? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s never about the rain
Two people sit on the same park bench. The clouds open up. Raindrops fall on their jackets. One person thinks: “Ugh. This ruins my day. Why me? Everything always goes wrong.” The other smiles and thinks: “This is refreshing. I love the smell of rain.” Same rain. Same bench. Same moment. Yet their experiences couldn’t be more different. It wasn’t the rain that created their feelings. It was the thought each one carried about the rain. Our minds are like little story machines, constantly narrating, labeling, and deciding what everything means. What if you didn’t take every story so seriously? What if rain was just… rain? The truth is, this isn’t just about rain. It’s about anything you’re experiencing right now. The rain could be anything, the unanswered text, the hard day at work, the moment you feel unseen. Same moment, different story, different experience. QUESTION: What’s something in your life right now that might not be “the rain”… but the story you’re telling about it? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
What if the silence isn’t the problem?
A father started noticing changes in his teenage son. The boy spent more time in his room, headphones on, barely offering more than a grunt when spoken to. The father’s mind went into overdrive: “Is he depressed? On drugs? Did I fail as a parent?” His fear showed up as hovering. He kept knocking on the door, asking questions, trying to pull his son out of his shell. He even started researching what this possibly could mean online late at night, desperate for answers. But nothing changed. In fact, the more he tried to “fix it,” the more distant his son seemed to grow. Then one day while walking the dog he had a quiet thought “What if I’m not scared for him… what if I am just scare of what I might be thinking?” That landed like a brick. He realized his feelings, panic, fear, urgency, weren’t actually coming from his son’s behavior. They were coming from the anxious stories he was telling himself about what it all might mean. “What if my son is struggling and I’m missing it?” “What if I’m a terrible father?” “What if I don’t fix this in time?” He saw it clearly: his mind was creating a future that didn’t exist. So he took a deep breath. And for the first time in weeks, he let himself just… settle, soften, calm, reset… Safety and patience rose. He stopped hovering. Stopped probing. Stopped analyzing. Stopped trying to control the narrative. Stopped personalizing the situation. Stopped trying to manage the silence. Two days later, his son wandered into the kitchen. He sat down at the table, pulled out his earbuds, and said quietly: “Dad… can I talk to you?” The Deeper Truth The father’s panic wasn’t caused by his son’s withdrawal. It was fueled by his own insecure thinking. He believed: “This means I’m a bad parent.” “Something is deeply wrong with my child.” Those thoughts triggered fear, which then showed up as over-involvement and anxious fixing. When he recognized his feelings as a reflection of thought, not of reality, his mind naturally settled. And from that calmer place, he didn’t feel the need to fix anything. Safety and trust opened up in their dynamic. This is what happens when we stop confusing our thoughts for the truth. This illustrates: -Experience flows from thought, not circumstances. -A clear mind leads to wiser, more loving responses. You don’t need to fix your thinking, just see it for what it is, and it quiets on its own. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When a coffee spill feels like proof you’re failing…
It started with something so small. Sarah’s coffee mug tipped over as she reached for her phone, sending a wave of dark liquid across the counter. She froze. Her chest tightened. Her cheeks flushed hot. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes. “This is it,” her mind whispered. “Proof. I can’t even keep a cup of coffee upright. I’m a mess. I’m failing at life.” And like a match to dry leaves, her thoughts ignited into a wildfire. She replayed every mistake from the past week, every task left unfinished, every moment she felt like she’d fallen short. The spilled coffee became the symbol of it all, chaos, failure, and her inability to hold it together. Then… she paused. Somewhere in the swirl of panic, she caught a glimpse of something quieter. “Wait,” she thought. “Is it really the coffee? Or is it what I’m telling myself about the coffee?” The question landed like a stone in a still pond. The ripples spread. Slowly, she began to notice how her meltdown wasn’t caused by the mess on the counter, it was caused by the meaning she had layered onto it. “This isn’t about coffee. This is about believing the thought that I’m not enough.” And just like that, the storm began to pass. Her body softened. Her heart beat slowed. Her breath steadied. The day didn’t feel so heavy anymore. The coffee was just coffee again. A little coffee to clean up, not a verdict on her worth or her life. Sarah smiled to herself through the tears. She saw something life-changing in that moment: feelings don’t come from events. Feelings come from the thoughts we entertain. And understand where feelings really come from, and when we see thoughts for what they are(with curiosity), passing energy, not hard facts or truth even, they pass and new thoughts arise. QUESTION: When was the last time a small event felt like proof of something bigger about you? What story were you believing? Sarah’s moment isn’t about the coffee at all. It’s about the inside-out nature of life. Events, spilled coffee, traffic jams, sharp words, are neutral until we assign them meaning. It’s our thinking about those events that creates our emotional experience, not the events themselves. Thought is like a projector shining onto a blank screen. Whatever’s on the filmstrip (good, bad, catastrophic) is what we’ll “see” and feel. The coffee wasn’t proof Sarah was failing. Her momentary thoughts were projecting a film of “I’m a failure.” And when she saw that? The whole movie lost its power. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Responsibility Is Power
Most of us were taught responsibility like it was a weight to carry, an endless to-do list of what we “should” be doing for everyone else. No wonder it feels heavy. No wonder we push back or overdo it until we’re exhausted. Real responsibility? It’s not about controlling other people or holding the world together. It’s about owning one thing fully: your response. Picture this: You’re holding a steering wheel. That’s your thoughts, feelings, and choices. The road is life, sometimes smooth, sometimes full of potholes and other drivers cutting you off. You can’t control the road. Or the weather. Or the other drivers. You can keep your hands on the wheel. You decide if you brake, accelerate, or take a turn. This is the quiet, fierce kind of power no one can take from you. You’re no longer stuck reacting out of old wounds or habits. You begin to see: Every moment, your mind is offering you fresh thoughts if you’re open, like suggestions for new directions on the GPS. And your experience isn’t determined by what’s happening “out there on the road”, the traffic, the weather, the detours, but by how you choose to steer, how you respond to what shows up. That’s where your real power lives. It’s not in controlling the road. It’s in driving your own car with clarity, presence, and trust. And the beauty? Once you realize you’re not in charge of fixing others or preventing their missteps, your energy shifts. You stop policing the world and start leading yourself. That’s when relationships transform, not because others change, but because you’re showing up differently. You’re trusting they will learn, evolve, overcome, adapt and solve their problems, you’ll just hold space for them to create their own solutions. QUESTION: How would it feel to drop the belief that you must manage others’ emotions or choices? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Lead From Within
You don’t need outside permission to embody truth and courage. Years ago, I coached someone who always felt like the supporting role in their own life. They waited. Waited to be validated. Waited to be chosen. Waited to be seen before they let themselves rise. Waited to be seen. Waited to be valued. Waited to feel good enough. “If someone could just see how much I care… maybe then I’d feel confident enough to speak up.” Sound familiar? Many of us were raised to believe leadership is something granted, a title, a role, an external stamp of approval. Real leadership? It doesn't begin when others recognize you. It begins the moment you recognize yourself. A metaphor: Imagine a lighthouse waiting for the boats to show up before it turns its light on. Ridiculous, right? Its job is to be the light. To stand steady in storms. To shine, even if no one’s watching. That’s what self-leadership is. It’s not about proving yourself. It’s about guiding from your own inner wisdom, moment by moment. Your experience is created from within, not from circumstance. The clarity, confidence, and courage you seek are already there, beneath the noise of insecure thinking. You're not missing anything. You’ve just been listening to the static instead of the signal. The deeper truth: Most people don’t lack strength. They just haven’t been taught to trust it. QUESTION: What would change in your life if you did what your gut, heart, soul, your inner wisdom has been whispering to you all these years? Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every relationship in your life. When you stop outsourcing your power, your entire reality recalibrates. You communicate with more clarity. You set boundaries with less guilt. You move through life feeling grounded instead of grasping. So no, leadership isn’t about being loud. It’s about being clear. Rooted. Grounded. Secure. Aligned. You don’t need outside permission to embody truth and courage. You only need a moment of remembering: You are the light. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Don’t anchor your identity to a passing storm
The Weather Changes. So Will Your Mind. Have you ever been caught in a sudden downpour without an umbrella? One minute the sky is blue, the next it’s dark and wild. Rain lashes down, soaking you, and in the moment, it feels like this is your new reality. Cold. Wet. Uncomfortable. Like this is how the whole day’s going to feel now. But an hour later? The clouds part. The sun peeks through. The world dries off. And you’re left standing there, wondering why it felt so all-consuming just moments ago. That’s how thought works. That’s how your mind works. Your experience is always being created from the inside out. Not by the situation. Not by the people. Not by your past. Not by the environment. Not by things. But by the thoughts moving through you in this moment. And just like the weather, those thoughts are always shifting. They feel real. They seem permanent. But they’re not. You are not your thoughts. You are the sky they move through. The problem isn’t that we feel sad, anxious, insecure, discouraged. The problem is when we personalize thought and believe those temporary feelings say something true about who we are, what we’re capable of, or what our future holds. When you're in the thick of emotional fog, it’s easy to anchor your identity to it. To think: “I’m not motivated.” “I’ll always feel like this.” “I’m broken.” “This relationship is doomed.” “This is just who I am.” What if that’s not the truth? What if it’s just a mental storm passing through? Here’s a little story: A client once told me she was “emotionally broken.” She had a history of people-pleasing, felt stuck in a cycle of guilt and resentment, and thought she’d never be able to trust her own voice. We didn’t try to fix her.(No one is broken) We explored how her experience was coming from thought in the moment. We gently looked at how much sense it made that she felt overwhelmed, because the thoughts she was believing were swirling like a thunderstorm. She didn’t need to change the weather. She needed to stop thinking she was the storm. And when that clicked? She cried. Not out of sadness, but relief. Relief that she wasn’t broken. Relief that she didn’t have to earn her worth or solve every problem in her past to feel okay. Relief that she could let the storm pass. And it did. QUESTION: What storm have you been confusing for your identity? You don’t have to be fearless. You don’t need to figure it all out right now. You just need to know that the weather will shift. And so will your state of mind. You are not stuck. You are not broken. You’re simply in a moment. Let it pass. Then reach for what’s true beneath it. That’s where real change begins. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Most arguments aren’t about what was said
Most arguments are about what wasn’t understood. Let’s talk about that. Picture this: You’re having a conversation with someone you care about. Maybe it’s your partner. A colleague. A friend. You say something with one intention, maybe to connect, or express a need, but what they hear feels like an attack. Suddenly, you’re both defensive. Hurt. Misunderstood. And you’re thinking, “That’s not what I meant at all.” Sound familiar? Here’s the truth most of us were never taught: We don’t experience other people. We experience our thinking about them. Thought. Consciousness. Mind. We live in a thought-created reality. We’re not reacting to each other. We’re reacting to what we believe is happening. And when we’re caught up in a whirlwind of assumptions, we stop listening. We hear tone, not truth. We defend, rather than understand. We prepare our comeback instead of getting curious. Let me offer a metaphor: Imagine two radios playing in a room. One’s on a jazz station, the other’s on heavy metal. They’re both making noise, but they’re not tuned in to the same frequency. That’s how most of us communicate when we’re upset. We’re talking, yes. But we’re tuned to two completely different emotional stations. One is tuned into heavy metal the other is tuned into elevator music No wonder communication lands sometimes and other times it misses. So what if communication wasn’t just about words? What if it was about presence? About slowing down enough to feel what’s behind the words, both yours and theirs? Because emotional leadership doesn’t mean you always get it “right.” It means you lead with care. You speak honestly and kindly. You ask, instead of assume. You take responsibility for how you show up. You stop trying to win the argument and start trying to win the connection. QUESTION: When was the last time I felt misunderstood, what was I really needing to occur in that moment? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Choosing Yourself Isn’t Abandoning Others
Emotional maturity honors both self and connection. Story: Imagine a tightrope walker. She's trained for years to master balance, precision, and grace. But what most don’t realize is, her first step isn’t on the rope. It’s the moment she learns to trust herself. That’s what choosing yourself feels like. It’s not about walking away. It’s about walking with clarity. It’s about steadying your own steps, so you don’t fall trying to carry someone else. Still, so many of us were taught that putting ourselves first is selfish. That if we say “no” or take space or change our mind, we’re letting people down. Here’s the truth: abandoning yourself to keep someone else comfortable is a form of abandonment, just in reverse. "Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm" You are a relationship, too with yourself and this life. And like any healthy relationship, the one you have with yourself requires listening, honesty, and care. We live in a thought-created experience. If you're walking around thinking, “Choosing me is hurting them,” you’re not responding to the truth, you're reacting to a story your mind made up. And that story can shift the moment you see it's just a thought, not a fact. QUESTION: What if your inner peace doesn’t compete with connection, but strengthens it? In Your Relationship With Yourself It’s being willing to be misunderstood for the sake of being deeply aligned. It’s remembering that you are not a bad person for having needs. In Your Relationship With Life Life doesn’t reward self-sacrifice; it responds to self-leadership. The more you tune into your wisdom, the more life meets you with alignment. In Your Relationship With Others People who love the version of you that overperforms may feel unsettled when you stop, and that’s ok. Emotional maturity learns to love without losing itself. You’re not here to twist yourself into someone else's comfort zone. You’re here to expand into your own. Here’s something to reflect on: What if honoring yourself is what allows you to show up more lovingly for others? What if setting boundaries isn’t distance, it’s direction? What if your inner peace doesn’t compete with connection, but strengthens it? You’re allowed to belong to yourself and love others well. That’s not abandoning anyone, it’s leading with truth. Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Control Is a Coping Mechanism
Behind control is often fear. Name it. Befriend it. Think about it: control shows up like an umbrella on a sunny day. You’re holding it, but it’s not really protecting you, it’s just your way of saying, “I’m prepared for something bad to happen.” Control is that umbrella. It’s a coping mechanism that shields you from feeling vulnerable, but in reality, it keeps you from living freely. Control convinces us that if we can just manage everything, our emotions, our relationships, our environment, we can avoid the discomfort and uncertainty that life brings. It’s a natural reflex, but the tighter we grip, the more we miss the beauty of letting go. Most people don’t realize how subtly control shows up. Maybe it’s planning every detail of a trip, micromanaging your partner’s actions, or checking emails every few minutes to make sure everything is in order. These are all forms of control, and often, we don’t even notice it happening. At the root of control is fear: fear of rejection, failure, being judged, or not being enough. And when fear is in the driver’s seat, we miss the growth that comes from embracing uncertainty. What if, instead of controlling, we leaned into the unknown with trust? What if we let go of that umbrella, knowing we can handle whatever life throws our way? Befriending control means acknowledging it without judgment. It’s about noticing when thoughts arise, and choosing a thought, and actions that indicate you trust yourself and that you will manage and be ok no matter what. It’s telling your brain and nervous system you are safe, even when things feel out of your control. When we release the need to manage every detail, we open up space for new insights and a deeper connection with ourselves. QUESTION: How might your relationships shift if you trusted more in the flow of life and allowed space for uncertainty and vulnerability? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Emotional Leadership
We all carry stories, stories we've picked up over the years, some from our past, others from our present. These stories shape how we see the world and how we show up in it. But here's the catch: these stories? They aren't your truth. They're just thoughts. And thoughts are fleeting. They come and go. They don't define you. When we hold onto those old stories, about ourselves, about life, about others, we start to believe that they are who we are. But that's not the case. When we react from those stories, we create barriers for ourselves. We push people away, we doubt our worth, and we might even sabotage our own success. We make life harder than it needs to be. The truth is: You are not your thoughts. What you think is just that, thoughts. Passing ideas that come and go. They only have power if you believe them and act on them. When you let them pass without attaching meaning or reaction, they lose their grip on you. And here's the empowering part: you can change your narrative. The stories you're holding onto don’t have to be your story anymore. You can rewrite them. You can choose new, empowering thoughts that align with the life you want to create, one full of positivity, abundance, and joy. This is what emotional leadership is all about: aligning your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions with your true values, your goals, and your heart’s desires. Here’s how to practice emotional leadership: Practice mindfulness: Start noticing your thoughts and emotions, without judgment. The key is being aware of when those old stories pop up, and gently redirecting yourself to the present moment. Challenge your beliefs: Ask yourself: “Is this story serving me? Is it helping me move forward, or is it keeping me stuck?” If it's not helping, it’s time to let it go. You have the power to choose a different narrative. Visualize your ideal life: Take some time to imagine the life you truly want to live. Feel the emotions of that reality. The more you connect with this vision, the more you'll begin to see ways to bring it to life. Gratitude: What are you grateful for today? Focusing on what’s good in your life shifts your energy and attracts more positivity into your experience. Remember, emotional leadership is a practice. It's not something you do once and you're done, it’s ongoing. Like learning a new language, you have to stick with it, practice it, and make it a part of who you are. And just like any new skill, you’ll get better with time, and the rewards will come. We all carry these stories that influence how we show up in relationships and in life. But what if we could start seeing them as just that, stories? Imagine how freeing it would feel to put down that heavy backpack of beliefs, to stop letting those old stories control you. QUESTION: What would be possible for you if you let go of judgment and approached life with curiosity? What might shift if you viewed each moment as a chance to learn, rather than a chance to prove yourself right or wrong? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Who Would You Be Without That Story?
We don’t see the world as it is, we see it through our stories. Picture this: You’re walking through your day, holding a big, heavy backpack. It’s packed with rocks. Every rock is a story you’ve been carrying: “I’m not good enough,” “I’ll never be happy,” “I always mess things up. I have to be the fixer, no one else will do it.” The more stories collected, the heavier it feels. The weight of these stories gets pressed harder onto your shoulders, and before you know it, you’re carrying them around all day, every day. The thing is, the more you carry these rocks, the more they start to feel like they are you. You start to believe that they’re just a part of your identity. It becomes so natural that you can’t imagine life without them. You might even think, “Well, if I put these down, I’d lose myself. These rocks are all I know.” Here’s the catch: those rocks aren’t who you are. They’re just stories. Stories you’ve collected along the way. Stories that other people told you, stories that you believed for one reason or another. Stories that served you at some earlier point in your life and your brilliant mind saw it as a means to keep you safe. The truth is, they aren’t you—they’re just thoughts that got way too much space in your head. Now imagine this: what if you could just put that backpack down? What if you realized that it’s not your job to carry these heavy stories around with you? What if those rocks are the very thing that’s zapping your energy, slowing you down, and making your day harder than it needs to be? What would your life look like if you let go of that weight? If you didn’t have to carry those burdens anymore? How much lighter and freer could you feel? More importantly, how much energy would you have to live the life you actually want? The power isn’t in holding on to those stories. It’s in recognizing that you don’t have to carry them. You can choose to put the backpack down and walk through life with a lighter heart, without letting those stories rule your experience. It’s time to take the weight off. QUESTION: If you could drop just one of those heavy stories today, which one would it be, and what would it feel like to take your first step toward freedom from it? How would your life shift if you no longer identified with that burden? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Not Everything Deserves a Reaction
Imagine you're sitting on a calm lake, the sun just starting to set. The water is still, smooth as glass. Now, picture someone tossing a stone into the water. It creates ripples, doesn’t it? Those ripples spread outward, disrupting the stillness. In life, those stones are the things that trigger us, someone’s harsh words, a sudden stressful situation, an unexpected change. The natural instinct is to react, like those ripples, to fight the disruption. Here's the secret: not everything deserves a reaction. The Gap Between Stimulus and Response The space between what happens to us and how we respond is powerful. It’s in this gap that we find the freedom to choose how we engage with the world. It's where peace lives. The truth is, our reactions are often based on old stories, assumptions, or automatic responses. When something triggers us, it’s easy to feel like we have to react immediately. Peace? Peace doesn’t rush. It pauses. It takes a breath. Think of your mind as a quiet pond. A trigger is the stone thrown into the water. The waves are your immediate emotions, your frustration, your hurt, your anger. The stillness? The stillness is always there, waiting. It's just a matter of whether you choose to stay with it, or let the ripples dictate your next move. Example 1: The Morning Email from Your Boss Imagine waking up, grabbing your coffee, and opening your inbox to find an email from your boss. It’s got that “urgent” subject line, and as you read it, you feel a wave of frustration rise, something is expected of you, and the tone seems a little sharp. Your first instinct? To fire back a response with a mix of frustration and defensiveness. New response: Instead of replying in the heat of the moment, take a pause. Breathe. This gives you space to decide if this email needs a response right now or if you can wait for a moment when you’re more centered and clear-headed. When you choose to take a breath before replying, you step out of the ripples and into the stillness of your mind, where you can respond more thoughtfully. Example 2: The Unsolicited Advice from a Friend Ever had a well-meaning friend give you unsolicited advice about your relationship or career? Their words hit you wrong, and immediately, your inner reaction is to push back or justify your choices. You’re about to tell them why their advice is not needed. But does it really require that reaction? New response: That moment between the advice being given and your response is where you have the power to choose. Instead of snapping back, take a moment to pause. You might choose to let the comment slide off you or respond calmly without getting defensive. That pause allows you to stay grounded and in control of your emotions, without letting someone else’s words create unnecessary ripples in your peace. Example 3: The Traffic Jam That Makes You Late You’re already running behind, and the universe decides to throw a traffic jam your way. Cars are at a standstill, your mind races with thoughts of being late, and you feel your stress levels rise. Your first impulse might be to get frustrated or start imagining worst-case scenarios about what’ll happen if you’re late. New response: Instead of letting the traffic trigger your stress, you have the choice to pause. A deep breath in the moment gives you space to reflect. What good does reacting with frustration do? Taking that pause allows you to shift your focus from what’s out of your control (the traffic) to what’s in your control (your peace of mind). In that moment of stillness, you allow yourself to choose a calm response, accepting the delay without letting it take over your emotional state. Bonus Insight: Each time you pause instead of reacting, you strengthen your ability to stay calm. It’s like practicing a muscle, the more you do it, the less you’re triggered by the little things. And soon, your mind will become more peaceful, even in the midst of life’s stones. QUESTION: When you look back at past emotional reactions, what do you think you could’ve done differently in that moment? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Triggers Aren’t Proof, They’re Invitations
Think of a trigger like a loud obnoxious fire alarm going off. At first, it’s loud, jarring, and chaotic. You might feel an immediate rush of stress, your heart racing, or a wave of frustration. It’s easy to assume that the noise is the problem. Here’s the twist: the alarm isn’t the issue; it's simply showing you that there’s something deeper going on beneath the surface. Now, imagine you’re in your home and the fire alarm goes off. You might feel the urge to scramble and try to stop the noise immediately. But what if, instead of just trying to shut the alarm off, you paused and asked yourself, “Why is the alarm going off?” It’s not just noise, it’s alerting you to something you might have missed, a deeper cause that requires your attention. Triggers work the same way. They don’t create your feelings, they expose what’s already inside of you, the thoughts and beliefs keeping that nervous system reaction. When something or someone sets you off, it’s not about what they did, it’s an invitation to ask, "Why is this triggering me? What’s beneath the surface? How can I heal this and be untriggerable?” QUESTION: What if every trigger you experienced was an opportunity to discover what’s really going on inside of you, to heal, and to set yourself free? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com P.S. change your smoke alarm batteries.
Resentment Is Unspoken Need
What you stew on often reveals what you haven’t spoken aloud. Storytime: Think of resentment like a tea kettle on a stove. You’re the kettle. Every “yes” when you meant “no,” every moment you felt overlooked, every time you swallowed your truth, it adds heat. You try to ignore it. Maybe you even move the kettle to the back burner. But eventually... whistle. Loud and sharp. That’s the snap. The outburst. The cold shoulder. The exhaustion. Not because you're broken. Because you’re boiling. And here’s the twist, most of the time, the other person doesn’t even know the stove is on. Resentment doesn’t come from them. It comes from a thought you’ve believed. A thought you’ve rehearsed on repeat. A thought you didn’t check in on before you ran with it. The more you believe that thought without question, “They don’t care”, “They always take from me”, “If I say something, I’ll be a burden”, the more real it feels. But feelings follow thought, not truth. And when we see that, we realize: We don’t need others to change for us to feel free. We need to check in with the story we’re telling and the needs we’re denying. Resentment isn’t who you are. It’s what you feel when your soul’s been muted. QUESTION: Who would you be without the story that they should already know? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Text Sarah Didn’t Send
Sarah felt the distance between her and John. His tone was shorter. His replies took longer. The warmth between them felt... faded. Old Sarah would’ve gone into overdrive, sending follow-up messages, checking in multiple times, over-explaining herself, maybe even planning something spontaneous to win back his attention. It would’ve looked like effort, but it was fear in disguise. Fear of being forgotten. Fear of not mattering. This time, she caught herself. Instead of reacting, she sat with the discomfort. She let her thoughts settle instead of spiraling. She reminded herself that distance isn’t always rejection, it’s just distance. Then she sent: “Hey, I’m feeling a bit disconnected. No pressure, just wanted to say I miss us. Let me know when you’ve got space.” That was her self-leadership. Her vulnerability. Not needy, not clingy, not grabby, not performative, just honest and grounded. She didn’t try to fix or control the moment. She chose to show up fully, without giving herself away. The response? Not immediate, not dramatic, but real. A deeper, honest conversation that met her right where she was. No game-playing. No emotional chase. Just two people re-finding each other, because one of them chose courage over control. QUESTION: What’s something you wish your partner truly understood about you, but you haven’t said out loud? Why not? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Journal on the Bench
Imagine walking through a quiet park at the edge of dusk. Golden light filters through the trees, birds are trading secrets overhead, and the wind carries the scent of change. You notice something resting on a bench, a weathered journal with its leather cover worn from use and time. Out of curiosity, you sit and begin to flip through its pages. The writing is raw and unfiltered. The first half of the journal is filled with heartbreak, mistakes, missed chances, and moments that nearly broke the person writing them. Some pages are smudged, as if the ink bled from old tears. Others are wrinkled like they’ve been rewritten a dozen times, searching for a better ending. There are lines crossed out, words circled in anger, and questions left unanswered. The story reads like someone who was trying hard to survive their life rather than live it. The name on the first page is Sarah. Then something shifts. You turn another page and find... nothing. The second half of the journal is completely blank. Empty pages stretch forward like open sky. Resting in the middle seam is a single fountain pen. In that moment, it becomes clear, Sarah’s story isn’t over. Not even close. She just hasn’t written the rest yet. So you imagine her picking up the pen, taking a deep breath, and writing at the top of the next page: “Chapter Eleven: Today I Choose.” She may not erase the past, but she’s no longer letting it choose for her. Now, here’s the truth hiding in plain sight: We are all Sarah. Your earlier chapters may hold chaos, regret, or pain, but they don’t get the final say. They are part of your story, not the whole of it. The pen, which represents your power to choose fresh thought in each moment, is still in your hand. And as long as you remember that, your next chapter can begin differently than the last ended. QUESTION: If today was your blank page, what title would you give the next chapter of your life? (And what’s one sentence you’d write to begin it?) Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When You're Misunderstood
What If It’s Not Rejection, But Redirection Back to You? Ever tried explaining how you feel, only to be met with blank stares, silence… or worse, defensiveness? It can sting, deep. Because being misunderstood, especially by someone you love or respect, feels like being left out in the cold with your heart still wide open. You might think: They don’t get me. Or maybe I don’t even make sense. Or the deepest cut of all: Maybe I’m too much. Let me tell you a story. A client of mine, let’s call her “Sarah”, was often told she was “too emotional.” Any time she tried to open up about what hurt, she was met with logic, solutions, or shutdown. She felt unseen. Dismissed. Misread. Misunderstood. Like her truth was too messy for anyone to hold. At first, she tried to explain herself louder. Then softer. Then… not at all. Until one day she asked herself: “Do I even understand what I’m feeling?” Here’s the thing we uncovered together: She wasn’t wrong for feeling. All feelings are valid, rooted in what a person thinks and believes in the moment with what emotional intelligence they have at the time. At this time Sarah hadn’t fully understood her own emotional landscape yet, so how could anyone else? The mental and emotional pain of being misunderstood doesn’t come from the other person’s words or lack of empathy. It comes from thoughts we believe in the moment, thoughts like “this proves I’m not safe here,” or “I must be broken” “I am different and no one understands.” We see that our thoughts are like weather passing through, not truth, just temporary mental clouds, we begin to listen deeper. First to ourselves. Then, to others. And here’s the twist: Once Sarah learned how to meet herself in those moments of misunderstanding, with self-compassion, not self-abandonment, her relationships changed. Not because she forced others to understand her… Because she finally understood herself. Being misunderstood isn’t the end of connection. It’s the beginning of a more honest one, if you’re brave enough to turn inward first. QUESTION: What story do you tell yourself when someone doesn't get you? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Not Being Okay Is Okay
Not Being Okay Is Okay It is not about suppressing. It is about anchoring. 𝗔 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 “Sarah” is a new manager juggling deadlines, a toddler, and a dad in the hospital. One Thursday she hides in her car during lunch, tears streaming down. In that tiny metal shelter she notices an odd thing: the steering wheel is steady in her hands even while her thoughts toss her around. Holding that wheel she realizes she can feel the storm and stay grounded. The car is still, traffic hums by, and her breath keeps rising and falling. Nothing outside has changed, yet inside she is no longer fighting the waves; she has dropped an anchor. 𝗠𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗽𝗵𝗼𝗿 Imagine the mind as an ocean. Thoughts whip up white-caps, emotions roar like wind, and the deeper water stays calm. When we think the surface is all that exists, any wave looks life-threatening. Anchor your attention a few feet below. The depth was always there, waiting for you to notice. 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱 – bringing fresh perspectives the moment we create space. 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗰𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 – awareness lets us feel the full spectrum without getting glued to any single feeling. 𝗧𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 – every feeling rides on a thought, so an upset state is not a life sentence. It is temporary mental weather. When you see experience this way, “not being okay” becomes a passing cloud rather than a personal defect or identity. You stop stacking judgment on top of pain, giving the natural resilience of Mind room to float you upward. 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻: If a friend felt exactly what you feel today, how would you speak to them? How can you offer the same tone to yourself right now? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Life Isn’t Against You
It’s Responding to You
At first glance, that might sound like a harsh truth, especially when life feels like a wave crashing over your head for the fifth time this week. What if this isn’t about blame? What if it’s about invitation? This feeling is just an alert to understand life at a deeper level. Let me tell you about “Sarah”, a past client. She kept saying, “Why does this always happen to me? Why can’t I catch a break?” It appeared as though her job was draining her. Her marriage was tense. Her energy felt hijacked by everything outside of her. She thought life was picking on her. That the universe had a vendetta. What she didn’t see was that her mind was running in high-alert mode 24/7, expecting drama, bracing for rejection, scanning for what might go wrong, judging herself, life and others. Her internal weather forecast was constant storm clouds with a high likelihood of tornados. And what do you know? Her external life kept matching that forecast. That’s not magic. That’s the mind at work. When your internal world is tense, critical, judgmental and/or fearful, the world reflects it, not because it's cruel, but because it’s a mirror. Your perception creates your reality. Our experience of life is created moment-to-moment through Thought, not through the circumstances themselves. When our thinking clears, even for a moment, so does our perspective. Clarity rushes in. And life feels different, because we are different in that moment. A metaphor I use often: Imagine walking around with a pair of sunglasses covered in smudges and dust. You’d swear the world is dim, gray, and blurry. But the world hasn’t changed. Only your lens has. And when you clean the lens, when you see your thinking for what it is and stop gripping it like gospel, the view transforms. QUESTION: What beliefs or thought patterns have been tinting your “glasses” without you realizing it? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Personal Boundaries Aren’t Punishment
Personal Boundaries Aren’t Punishment. They’re clarity in action. They protect love, not hinder it. Meet Sarah. Sarah used to say yes… a lot. Yes to dinner plans she didn’t have energy for. Yes to late-night phone calls that drained her. Yes to requests at work that pushed her into overwhelm. She said yes because she thought it was loving. She thought saying no would hurt people. Push them away. Make her “selfish.” Unlovable. Here’s the truth... saying yes when your heart says no is just another form of self-abandonment. And eventually, it caught up with her. Her smile thinned. Her sleep disappeared. Her resentment bubbled just beneath her surface. Sarah wasn’t loving. She was leaking. So we flipped the script. She started treating Personal Boundaries not like brick walls, but like garden fences. Not to keep people out... but to honor what was growing inside. To prioritize her mental, emotional and physical energy first and foremost. That’s Self-Leadership. QUESTION: Where in your life are you saying “yes” to others but “no” to yourself? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Emotional Responsibility NOT Emotional Suppression
Owning your feelings doesn’t mean ignoring them. It means leading them. The Lantern Metaphor – A New Way to See Your Emotions Think of each emotion like a little lantern, gifted to you in the dark woods of your life. Some glow soft and warm, like joy or peace, easy to hold, easy to follow. Others burn hotter, like anger, sadness, fear, and we’re taught to fear them, tame them, or hide them. So what do most of us do? We shove the lantern under a blanket. Out of sight. Hoping the flame will die down. But what happens when you do that? The light flickers, smoke fills the tent, your eyes sting, and everything gets harder to see. You stumble more. You lose your bearings. And the very thing that could’ve lit the way becomes a hazard. Now imagine this: Instead of hiding that lantern, you hold it out in front of you. You steady your hand. You feel the warmth. You breathe with it. Suddenly the path begins to reveal itself, not all at once, but just enough to take the next right step. This is what emotional leadership looks like. Not pretending the flame isn’t there. Not tossing it at someone else. Not shaming yourself for holding it. Just choosing to walk with it. Some days the light will be shaky. Other days it will shine strong. Either way, the power comes not from controlling the flame, but from honoring its guidance. QUESTION: What’s a strong emotion that is there to teach you a new way of being that you can lean into and use to empower you? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
When Doing Less Reveals More
Sarah came to me burnt out, but didn’t know it yet. On paper, she was thriving. VP title. Full calendar. Always ten steps ahead for her boss, her team, her kids, her partner. She lived in motion, texting between meetings, folding laundry during date night, replying to emails while brushing her teeth. (superwoman) She didn’t call it overwhelm. She called it “being efficient.” “productive” Underneath all the high-functioning energy was something she couldn’t name, just this low-grade tension in her chest and a gnawing disconnect she couldn’t fix with another productivity hack. Her relationship was strained. “We barely talk anymore unless it’s logistics,” she said. She wanted to connect with her partner, but every conversation turned into conflict… or silence. And that silence? Felt like failure. The Real Root: What She Thought She Was Avoiding When we started working together, Sarah believed her problem was communication. Communication when from pressure, fix it mode, low mood or low energy will make matters worse. What we uncovered was deeper: She wasn’t scared of her partner’s silence... She was scared of her own silence. Because stillness felt powerless. Unsafe. Uncertain. Terrifying. Revealing. Growing up in a chaotic home, the calm before the storm was never peaceful, it was predictable danger. So she avoided stillness by over-functioning. She micromanaged everything and everyone. She fixed what wasn’t broken. She stayed so busy there was no space left to feel. The Shift: Less Doing, More Listening I introduced her to what we called “Stillness Minutes.” Five minutes a day. No scrolling. No solving. Just… being. She resisted. “I can’t sit still. It’s a waste of time.” Her brain spun with grocery lists, old arguments, and imaginary crises. But then, about two weeks in.. something cracked open. She told me, “I didn’t do anything, and I suddenly realized I miss myself.” She missed her own voice. She missed knowing what she wanted, outside of what was needed. She started to dream and creating a list of things she wanted to accomplish, do, see and experience. She missed feeling loved for who she was, not what she did. In stillness, that truth surfaced. The Reward: Clarity Without Force Over time, those five minutes became her reset button. She stopped chasing clarity and started making space for it. Her nervous system began to trust that calm didn’t mean danger, it meant access. Access to presence. To softness. To her own dreams. To herself. And here’s the kicker.. her communication with her partner improved without a single script or tool. Because she wasn’t reacting from overload anymore. She was responding from grounded, calm, safe clarity. Stillness gave her what hustle never could: Connection. Not just to him… but to herself. Stillness doesn’t cause the clarity, it allows it. QUESTION: What feelings or truths might you be avoiding by always staying busy, distracted, or in motion? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Sarah’s Wake-Up Call
Sarah had always seen herself as the “strong one” in her relationship. She made things easier for John, she edited his work emails, offered constant suggestions on how to dress better, reminded him to drink water, and even rewrote texts before he sent them. It felt like love to her. Like she was being a good partner. Like she was helping him be his best. (well meaning and innocently that’s what she believed) But one night, something cracked. John forgot to send a thank-you note to her parents after dinner. Sarah didn’t just get annoyed, she completely broke down in tears. And not the kind that feels clean and honest. The kind that explodes out of nowhere, built up over time. That moment stunned her. It wasn’t about the note. Not really. It was about what his forgetfulness meant to her. That maybe she didn’t matter. That maybe all her efforts didn’t make her more lovable, just more exhausted. The next morning, she sat alone with her coffee and finally asked the real question: “Why am I trying so hard to fix him?” The answer hit her like a wave. Because if I’m always focused on fixing him, I don’t have to face what I’m afraid is broken in me. That day, she wrote one thing on a sticky note and stuck it to her mirror: “Mirror first.” Every time she felt the urge to correct John, whether it was about his socks, his tone, or his decisions, she paused, took a breath, and checked in with herself. What am I really feeling? What am I really needing? Over time, something shifted. She began noticing her own anxiety instead of projecting it onto him. She started naming her feelings instead of controlling the environment. And without a single lecture, something unexpected happened, John began showing up more. He started initiating, remembering, and contributing in ways he hadn’t before. Not because she fixed him. Because she stopped trying to. That he is perfectly fine the way he is. That if it’s important to him, he will do it, if it’s not he won’t. It’s not her job to overperform and ignore herself. Her mirror work became an invitation, not a demand. And in that space, both of them grew. Question: What does true support look like when it is rooted in encouragement rather than rescue? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Reactivity Isn’t Reality
You don’t need to believe every emotional urge. Respond, don’t react. Ever stubbed your toe and then wanted to throw your whole life away for five minutes? Yep. That’s reactivity. It’s the brain’s way of protecting us, fast, loud, emotional, but not always accurate. Reactivity feels urgent. It floods us with stories like “This always happens,” “I’m not respected,” “They don’t care,” before we’ve even had a chance to breathe. That doesn’t mean those feelings aren’t real. It means they aren’t always true. QUESTION: What would your wisest self do if you didn’t have to prove, protect, or punish? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Victim or Visionary?
You can’t lead your life while clinging to powerlessness. Visualize this… A woman stood in the middle of a fast-moving river, soaked, freezing, barely holding onto a rock. She was yelling for help, blaming the current, the storm, the world, for putting her there. She thought clinging to that rock was her only chance of survival. It was familiar. Safe. Even if it hurt to cling to it. That rock? It’s the identity of the victim. It feels like: “Why is this happening to me?” “No one understands me.” “I can’t change unless they do.” Powerlessness is seductive and if you don’t know you’re doing it, you’ll stay in a place that you’re blaming and complaining that everything is happening to you. You never get to create what could happen for you. Being a visionary doesn’t mean denying pain. It means using pain as fuel instead of weight. When you shift from victim to visionary, your language changes. You stop saying, “This is just how I am,” and start asking, “What do I want to create?” You stop waiting to be rescued, and you become resilient. You become someone who leads their life, not reacts to it. QUESTION: What’s one choice you could make today that would move you from powerlessness into personal leadership? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
You can’t outrun your inner dialogue
True peace comes from befriending your mind, not avoiding it. Imagine this: You’re on a treadmill. Not in a gym, but in your own mind. The belt keeps speeding up. Every negative thought, self-doubt, memory, or criticism presses “faster.” You run harder. You distract. You overwork. You overthink. You please, scroll, numb, compare, and push through. You try to "out-positive" the fear. Or bury it in productivity. But eventually… The treadmill wins. Your legs give out. And you’re right back where you started, face to face with the one voice that never left: your own. That voice, the one in your head narrating your worth, your relationships, your past, isn’t something to silence or outrun. It’s something to understand. Here's the truth: No amount of outer peace can outlast an inner war. And most people are waging battles with thoughts they never chose. Stories inherited from childhood. Fears passed down. Beliefs that were absorbed in moments of pain or confusion, but never questioned. Real healing starts when you stop running and start listening. Not to believe every thought… But to see each one for what it is: a messenger. Not a master. QUESTION: When your mental treadmill starts accelerating, what early signal tells you it’s time to step off and breathe? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Pain Is a Messenger, Not a Master
Listen to pain, but don’t let it lead your life. Imagine your life as a road trip. You're in the driver’s seat. You’ve got a destination in mind, a life aligned with love, peace, and purpose. Suddenly, the check engine light comes on. That light? It’s pain. Pain isn’t there to hijack your journey. It’s a signal, like the check engine light, asking you to slow down, check in, and pay attention. Find a solution. But too often, we hand it the wheel. Maybe your pain sounds like: “No one really sees me.” “I always have to be strong.” “I can’t trust anyone with my heart.” Those are valid feelings (all feelings are valid, they are a product of what you think and believe). And if you ignore or fight them, they’ll show up louder, through burnout, resentment, emotional distance, even physical symptoms. Pain is trying to tell you something… about what needs care, not control. Here's the trap: when you let pain lead in your decisions and actions, it distorts your vision. You start protecting instead of connecting. Controlling instead of trusting. Surviving instead of living. Healing doesn’t mean silencing the pain. It means becoming the leader of your life again. It means asking: “What is this pain trying to teach me, without letting it decide who I am or where I go?” Let the pain ride shotgun, it’s well meaning and served you well in the past, acknowledge it and let it come along but you’re the driver now. QUESTION: Where in your life have you let pain take the wheel, and what’s one small way you can reclaim the driver’s seat this week? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Trigger Is the Teacher
What fires you up, points to what’s unresolved. We all have that thing, someone says something, or doesn’t say anything at all… and suddenly we’re hot, shut down, defensive, or hurt. That jolt? That flare-up? That’s your trigger. It’s not proof something’s wrong with you. It’s proof something within you is ready to be looked at. Metaphor: The Smoke Alarm Think of a trigger like a smoke alarm. It goes off when something’s burning, but it doesn’t always mean the house is on fire (could be burnt toast). The alarm isn’t the problem. It’s an alert. A signal. And when we keep ripping the batteries out or blaming the toast, we miss the real opportunity: to check in, get curious, and figure out why that particular moment lit us up. Internally. It’s not in the external world. That’s what makes triggers teachers, not enemies. They offer clues. And they can lead us to old pain, buried needs, forgotten beliefs, or emotional blind spots that are quietly shaping how we respond to life and love. QUESTION: What’s one recent moment that hit a nerve, harder than it probably should have? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
Not Every Thought Deserves a Microphone
Imagine being at a loud party where one guest is constantly yelling over everyone else. They’re dramatic, repetitive, and frankly.. kind of rude. Now imagine that guest lives in your head. That’s your inner noise. The unfiltered voice that overreacts, replays the past, predicts disaster, and critiques you relentlessly. The problem is, we often hand that guest the mic and let them host the show. Wisdom? Wisdom is at the back of the room. Calm. Grounded. Not fighting for attention. It waits for stillness. For you to stop reacting, slow down and start listening. One of my clients once described it perfectly. She said, “It’s like my anxious thoughts are pounding on the front door, and my truth is whispering in the backyard.” And that’s exactly it. Not every thought is truth. Not every thought is kind. And not every thought gets to decide your next move. You get to choose who holds the mic. You get to pause and ask, “Is this thought helpful, or just loud?” Because when you stop giving every thought the spotlight, you start hearing what really matters, your values, your intentions, your deeper knowing. QUESTION: If you stopped reacting to every loud thought, what might you hear instead? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
What You Feel Isn’t Always What’s Real
Emotions are valid, but they aren’t verdicts. Learn to pause. Story + Metaphor: Imagine standing at the edge of a lake. The water is calm, like a mirror, until you throw in a stone. Ripples spread. That’s what emotions often are: ripples. Not the truth of the water, but the reaction to a disturbance. One client I worked with shared how every time her partner was quiet, she felt ignored, unwanted, or shut out. Her heart would race, her inner voice would scream, “He doesn’t care about me.” That felt really true (valid). But when she finally paused, took a breath, and checked in, she found out he was stressed from work and lost in his own thoughts. It had nothing to do with her. When she was in a low mental state or mood this would make things seem worse than they really were. I supported her in navigating her state of mind and moods, where this wouldn’t consume her so easily. Remember: Feelings are signals, alarms, not facts. They're smoke, not always fire. They're stories we tell ourselves based on old fears, wounds, or past experiences. When we treat every emotion like it’s a final judgment, we get stuck living on emotional autopilot, reacting rather than responding. When we pause, we reclaim our power. We create space between what we feel and how we choose to feel and act. Emotional freedom starts there. QUESTION: What’s a recent moment when you mistook a feeling for the full truth of a situation? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
The Blame Game Is a Loop
Blame feels like control but keeps you stuck in powerlessness. The Blame Game Is a Loop Blame feels like control… but keeps you stuck in powerlessness. Imagine you’re stuck in a roundabout with no exits. Every turn looks the same. You keep circling, convinced that if someone else would just change, you could finally move forward. That’s what blame feels like, motion. But it’s not progress. It’s a loop. A dizzying one. And the longer you stay in it, the more disoriented, disconnected, and defeated you feel. Blame gives the illusion of control. “If they hadn’t said that…” “If life wasn’t so unfair…” “If only my partner would understand…” It temporarily soothes the sting of pain by redirecting it outward. The hard truth with a hopeful twist: when you hand over power to what you can’t control, you lose touch with what you can, your choices, your responses, your freedom. Let me tell you about Sarah. She came to coaching feeling stuck, frustrated, and unseen in her relationship. Her partner never opened up, never initiated, never “got it.” After months of replaying and score keeping his flaws and waiting for him to “step up,” she asked a different question: What is this pattern asking me to see in myself? That shift.. tiny but powerful, broke the loop. She stopped reacting and started leading. Not from blame. From emotional responsibility. From love. That’s when her entire relationship dynamic began to change. Blame says “you’re the problem.” Responsibility says “I have the power to shift this.” One keeps you trapped. The other opens the door to change. QUESTION: Where in your life do you feel stuck in a loop, and who or what are you waiting on to change first? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s Not Them
Emotional pain doesn’t start outside you, it starts in your perception. Allow me to explain.. Imagine walking into a room wearing sunglasses with a red tint. Suddenly, the white walls look pink, the soft light feels harsh, and the people around you seem flushed or irritated. You wouldn’t realize the glasses are tinting your world, you might just assume, “Something is off with them.” But it’s not the room. It’s the lens. That’s how perception works in relationships. We experience others not as they are, but through the lens of our past wounds, non-conscious beliefs, and emotional state in the moment. When we’re carrying old resentment, unhealed hurt, or anxiety from something else entirely, even neutral behavior from others can feel like a threat. We react not to reality, but to the story our brain is telling about it. The moment you truly grasp that emotional pain often begins with how you’re seeing, not what you’re seeing, you unlock emotional freedom. That trigger is simply an alert, a signal that there’s something internal needing healed. This doesn’t mean letting people off the hook for bad behavior. It means you get to take your power back by noticing what’s yours to shift. QUESTION: What emotional “lens” might you be wearing in your closest relationship right now? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com
It’s Not To Late
“It’s too late to fix this.” → Feeling: Defeated → Behavior: Give up, check out → Result: Self-fulfilling prophecy Insight: Change doesn’t happen before the turning point, it is the turning point. Metaphor: Even a broken clock is only two clicks away from alignment. The Broken Clock & the Turning Point “It’s too late to fix this.” That’s the quiet whisper of defeat that shows up after you’ve tried to hold it together for too long. After the last conversation went nowhere. After the warmth turned to routine… or worse, cold silence. It’s easy to believe that because something has felt broken for so long, it can’t be rebuilt, it’s not broken. Here's the deeper truth: Change doesn’t wait for a “perfect moment.” It is the moment. Imagine a clock that’s stopped. It’s not ticking, not telling time, just stuck. Useless, right? Here’s the twist: even that broken clock is only two clicks away from telling the right time again. Relationships are the same. They don’t need to be perfect to move again, they just need movement. The smallest shift in direction, an honest conversation, a new intention, a courageous act of self-leadership, can create ripples that change everything. Most breakthroughs don’t feel like fireworks. They feel like exhaustion. Or silence. Or one more “what’s the point?” It’s exactly there, in that moment where you feel like checking out, that your next chapter quietly asks: “Are you willing to do something different this time?” Remember we will get the same results doing the same thing over and over. And no, you don’t have to do it alone. QUESTION: What would change if you believed it wasn’t too late—but just time for a new beginning? Continue the conversation and answer the question via Text or email Text: (509) 800-7264 Email: hello@katherine-hood.com