Rediscovering Yourself in the Stillness

stillness in the creative

In today's busy world, many people struggle to find balance in their lives. The fast pace often forces us to rush through our daily routines, trying to meet the growing demands of work, relationships, and personal goals. This pressure can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed and burnt out, making it hard to take care of ourselves or reflect on our needs. As a result, we often feel exhausted and frustrated.

To highlight this issue, let me share the story of "Sarah," a common example that resonates with many of my coaching clients. Sarah's experience reflects the challenges faced by many trying to maintain balance in their lives.

Sarah, a successful Vice President at her company, worked long hours and was fully committed to her job, which involved managing complex projects and leading teams. Alongside her demanding career, Sarah also wanted to be a good mother, partner, and friend. She aimed to be present for her children's milestones and daily activities while juggling what was also very important: supporting her spouse, family, and friends.

Despite her achievements and efforts, Sarah started to feel disconnected from her partner, children, and, most importantly, herself. The demands of her job left her exhausted, making it hard to engage with her family after work. Her patience thinning, her gym time and pampering herself were left off the calendar. Family dinners became rushed, and quality time was replaced by chores and obligations. This lack of connection affected her relationships, leading to feelings of isolation and guilt. The vibrant woman she once was felt lost amid her responsibilities.

As Sarah went through this tough time, she realized that her drive for success was costing her something more valuable: her sense of self and her relationships. This realization sparked her journey to regain balance, which involved deep reflection, setting personal boundaries, and prioritizing self-care. Through coaching, Sarah learned to identify her core values and the importance of nurturing her emotional well-being first and foremost, ultimately leading her to a more fulfilling and balanced life.

At first, Sarah thought her issues stemmed from a lack of communication in her relationship. However, the truth was that she was evading the silence that came with stillness. For Sarah, silence often reminded her of a chaotic childhood where quiet moments were a precursor to upheavals. As a result, filling her life with noise became a comfort and "normal".

The Turning Point: Embracing Stillness

Through coaching, Sarah learned about a deceptively simple yet powerful practice: a five-minute daily ritual of stillness. This wasn’t about fixing problems or getting distracted by her phone. During her initial attempts at stillness, she felt restless; her thoughts raced, her mind kept telling her this was a waste of time, and the weight of the quiet felt overwhelming.

Despite the discomfort, Sarah continued. Over time, those five minutes turned into opportunities for profound discovery. The stillness allowed her to realize how disconnected she had become from herself. She began to re-explore dreams she had put on hold and found clarity about what she truly valued.

For example, her joy for painting, which she had abandoned years ago, resurfaced. Sarah decided to dedicate one afternoon a week to immerse herself in art once more. This time spent creating not only reinforced her creativity but also helped unwind the stress accumulated from her busy life. After a bit she decided to invite her kids to this creative outlet and it became a family affair. The living room transformed into a vibrant studio filled with paints, brushes, and canvases of all sizes.

A Shift in Perspective

As Sarah committed to her daily practice, a remarkable change occurred. She started to reconnect with her voice and noticed her relationship with her partner improving as well. Instead of chasing after communication strategies, she learned to respond from a place of love, curiosity, calm and partnership.

Key Takeaway from Sarah's Experience

The main point from Sarah's story: reconnecting with ourselves often means taking a step back instead of trying to do more. When we take the time to just be with ourselves, we can remember who we really are. Instead of running away from quiet moments or thinking something's wrong, we can tune in and hear the voices we've been missing for a while, and in Sarah's case, include those you love in the quietness.

Sarah's journey reflects an important truth

Our experience of life is primarily shaped by our thoughts. Before embracing stillness, her busyness distracted her from addressing deeper inner discomforts. She believed her stress was caused by external pressures, not realizing that the fear of silence was a significant factor in the path to burnout.

As she welcomed stillness, clarity naturally emerged without her needing to do more, adding more pressure and things to her plate. Too often I get asked "What to do" and often it's slowing down to go fast. Translation, get clear on what's important to you, and what enriches your life, daily, weekly, monthly and on a consistent basis.

Her hunch that communication was the problem was looking at the symptom not the solution. Improved connection wasn’t due to learning new techniques but resulted from a fundamental internal shift. As her mental noise quieted, she began to feel more love and understanding flow into her life.

Have you ever had an insight where you felt a good feeling attached to a thought that led you towards something you just knew in your bones was what you needed in the moment?

For instance, Sarah noticed that when she responded to her partner’s concerns during their conversations, she shared her feelings calmly rather than reacting with frustration, improving their emotional connection significantly.

Important Reflection: Questions to Consider

Sarah’s journey is a universal one. It may resonate with your own experiences.

Reflect on these questions:

• What emotions are you avoiding by staying busy?

  
  

• How might your world change if you committed to just five minutes of stillness each day?

  
  

Often, the answers lie in the quiet spaces waiting to be uncovered.

Practical Steps to Find Your Stillness

If you find yourself inspired by Sarah’s journey, consider these practical steps to cultivate stillness in your life:

1. Start Small

Begin by setting aside five minutes daily. Find a quiet space where you feel safe and relaxed. Use this time for no distractions, simply sit and be present.

1. Focus on Your Breath

Connect with your breath during these moments. Pay attention to each inhale and exhale, allowing your body to naturally relax with every breath.

1. Acknowledge Your Thoughts

When your mind wanders, and it will, notice your thoughts with curiosity. Gently guide your focus back to your breath or the sensations in your body.

1. Journal Your Discoveries

After each stillness session, write down your thoughts and insights in a journal. Over time, you'll see patterns and gains in clarity. (I would be happy to discuss what you discover in a call)

1. Share Your Experience

If you feel comfortable, express what you are experiencing to a friend or loved one. Sharing can enhance accountability and spark important conversations about connection and presence.

The Journey Begins

In our constant chase for productivity and achievement, we often overlook the power of simply being. Sarah's story shows that leaning into silence can reconnect us not just with ourselves, but also with others. By allowing our thoughts to settle, we create the space needed for understanding, connection, and love.

Embracing quiet can reveal facets of ourselves long forgotten.

A Path to Rediscovery

Sarah’s transformative experience reminds us that moments of stillness often hold the key to deeper self-understanding and enriching our relationships. Each of us has the potential to rediscover who we are beneath the layers of busyness.

By nurturing a habit of stillness, we can forge stronger connections with ourselves and those we love. So take those five precious minutes daily, and see what unfolds. You may find the life and love you have been yearning for.

An inviting view of calming nature, ideal for reflection and stillness.

Rediscover yourself in the quiet, just like Sarah did. Life isn’t only about doing; it's about being.