Stop Treating Growth Like a Kleenex

Aziz Acharki photo

We live in a world that worships information. Books, podcasts, reels, quotes. People collect them like souvenirs, highlight the good parts, nod along, maybe share a post that feels “so true.” And then they move on.

It feels like progress. But it isn’t.

Most of the time, it’s just wiping up whatever emotional mess you’re sitting in, like a Kleenex. You use it once, toss it, and grab for another the next time life spills.

The problem is, growth isn’t meant to be disposable.

What’s Missing in your Growth:

You don’t change your life by reading about change. You change it by integrating what you read into how you live.

That’s the word most people skip right over: integration. It doesn’t glitter. It doesn’t hand you that instant buzz you get when you stumble across a new idea. It’s not a rush, it’s a rhythm.

Integration moves differently, slower, steadier, quieter. It’s less about the thrill of discovery and more about the daily, sometimes unremarkable, repetition that eventually reshapes how you think, how you respond, and how you carry yourself.

It’s catching yourself mid-reaction and realizing, “This is the exact place I usually hand over my peace.”

• It’s choosing to pause instead of repeating the same fight you’ve had 100 times.

• It’s recognizing the places you still get snagged, or stuck, where old wounds flare, stories twist, and your own blind spots take over.

• It’s realizing how quickly you slip into old stories that don’t serve you anymore.

• It’s catching the moment you trade peace for the temporary relief of being “right.”

• It’s noticing the way you shrink back when you really want to speak up.

• It’s seeing how often you try to manage someone else’s feeling or reaction instead of owning your own.

• It’s facing the gap between what you say you value and how you actually show up.

• It’s becoming aware of the soft spots, the places you still stumble, misunderstand, or get swept up without realizing it.

  
  

That’s the work.

The Trap We All Fall Into

Here’s the cycle: something in life feels off, so you reach for a book, a podcast, or a quote. For a moment, it feels like medicine. You exhale, feel a flicker of relief, maybe even a spark of hope. You think, yes, this is what I needed. You feel seen, validated, lighter.

.........And then it fades.

Almost as quickly as it came, the feeling slips through your fingers, and you’re right back where you started. Back on autopilot, motorboating through life with the same old beliefs, the same thought loops, the same emotions that have been running you for years. Those patterns pull you back into what’s familiar, what you’ve been taught, what you’ve been conditioned to believe.

Instead of creating freedom, the cycle reinforces the cage. You start to feel like change is always just out of reach, that no matter how much you learn, you end up stuck in the same spot. Sometimes it even drives you deeper into quiet suffering, the kind that nobody sees but you carry everywhere. On the outside, you look fine. On the inside, you know you’re circling the same track, again and again.

So you reach for another Kleenex.

Stack up enough of them and you start to believe you’ve been “working on yourself.” A bookshelf lined with titles that promise transformation, each one with pages underlined and dog-eared. Maybe you even post on social media about the latest book you’re “onto now,” adding it to the growing list of things you’ve consumed. On the surface, it looks like progress. It looks like commitment. It looks like growth.

If you’re honest, nothing has really shifted. The same arguments flare up at home, playing out like a script you know by heart. The same insecurity sneaks into work, whispering that you’re not enough no matter how much you do. The same thought loops hijack your nights, running in circles until 2 a.m. The triggers are still in the driver’s seat, the patterns are gripping the wheel, and you’re strapped in the back, watching yourself react in the same predictable ways, again and again, wondering if anything will ever truly change.

Here’s the truth you don’t want to miss: you’ve been searching in the wrong place. It’s not in more information, and it’s never outside of you. Not in a book, a course, a program, a pill, a potion, or a lotion.

It’s not because you lack effort. It’s not because you’re undisciplined. And it’s certainly not because you’re not intelligent enough to “get it.” The truth is, information by itself doesn’t rewire you. Reading about presence isn’t the same as being present when your partner rolls their eyes. Highlighting a chapter on personal boundaries isn’t the same as holding your ground when it feels easier to cave.

Knowledge can light a spark, and it can feel intoxicating, so intoxicating that it becomes addictive. And yes, there are entire industries built on selling you the next high, banking on your desperation to feel better without actually changing.

The truth: insight alone isn’t transformation. It’s practice that carves new grooves in your brain. It’s repetition that reshapes your nervous system. It’s how you show up in the small, unglamorous, everyday moments that rewires your life.

Why Integration and Growth Feels So Uncomfortable

Because it strips away the illusion.

When you integrate, you can’t hide behind concepts anymore. You can’t pretend the highlighted pages mean you’ve changed. You can’t keep convincing yourself that nodding along is the same as living differently. Blaming and complaining stop working as a crutch. And the people you once bonded with through shared venting, victimhood, or drama? Some won’t know how to connect with the more emotionally aware, grounded version of you, and they may quietly pull away. That’s not loss, it’s space and energy to go towards what’s more fulfilling and meaningful to the new version of you. Because as you shift, you’ll naturally attract others who live with the same awareness, and your life becomes richer, deeper, and more vibrant through those connections.

Integration shines a light where you’d rather stay in the shadows. You see the moments you abandon yourself just to keep the peace. You notice how quickly you still grasp for control when fear creeps in. You catch yourself blaming, only to realize it’s not them, it’s you handing over your emotional steering wheel.

That’s not weakness. That’s clarity. And clarity can sting.

This is why so many people stay stuck in cycles of consumption. It’s easier to reach for the rush of a new idea than to face the reality of living it out when it’s messy, awkward, and confronting. Most people don’t want honesty. They want the appearance of progress, the dopamine hit of “working on themselves” without the discomfort of practice, repetition, and accountability.

Here’s the paradox: the very discomfort people avoid is the birthplace of real freedom. If you won’t stand in that fire, you’ll never know what it feels like to come out stronger on the other side.

The Real Shift to Lasting Growth

Think about the conversations you’ve had with yourself after reading something powerful. You swear you’ll do it differently next time. And maybe you do, once. Then the old grooves pull you back.

That’s because transformation isn’t about the promise you make in your head. It’s about the small, consistent, invisible choices you practice until they become your new baseline.

That’s when life feels different, not because circumstances changed, but because you did.

A Final Thought

The question I’d leave you with:

Are you collecting Kleenex, or are you integrating?

Because the Kleenex will keep you wiping up the same mess forever. Integration will slowly and steadily reshape who you are. And here’s the thing most people miss, it’s simple, and it’s easy if you decide to see it that way.

It’s not quick. It’s not pretty. It’s not the kind of thing you post about with a motivational hashtag. But it’s real. And once you taste it, you stop craving more information and start craving more presence.

That’s where peace lives. Not in the next book. Not in the next podcast. Not in the next quote you highlight.

Right here.

In the practice you’re willing to live.

If this blog stirred something in you and you’re ready to move beyond collecting insights into actually living them, let’s talk. Reach out and we can explore what integration would look like for you with real support.