Feed Your Mind Directions, Not Warnings
- Katherine Hood
- 2 days ago
- 5 min read
Why Your Brain Responds Better to What You Want Than What You Fear
Have you ever caught yourself thinking:
"I don't want to get upset."
"I don't want to say the wrong thing."
"I don't want this meeting to go badly."
"I don't want to freeze."
"I don't want to cry."
Most people believe these thoughts are helping them prepare.
In reality, they're often doing the opposite.
Your mind doesn't organize itself around what you're trying to avoid.
It organizes itself around what receives your attention.
If your attention spends all day rehearsing anger, embarrassment, conflict, or failure, those become the experiences your mind stays ready to notice.
Feed Your Mind Directions, Not Warnings
Imagine getting into your car and programming your GPS.
You don't type in all the places you hope to avoid.
You enter the destination you actually want to reach.
Your mind works much the same way.
Many of us spend our days giving it warnings instead of directions.
Don't mess this up.
Don't forget.
Don't embarrass yourself.
Don't upset anyone.
Don't make the wrong decision.
The brain hears one message repeatedly:
Pay attention to everything that could go wrong.
Over time, that becomes familiar.
Eventually, it becomes automatic.
Your Attention Follows Your Instructions
Think about preparing for a difficult conversation.
Most people mentally rehearse everything they hope won't happen.
They picture arguments.
Defensiveness.
They've already experienced the conversation dozens of times before it ever begins.
Then they wonder why they arrive tense.
The conversation didn't create the anxiety.
Their imagination did.
When your attention is repeatedly directed toward danger, your body naturally prepares for danger.
A Different Question Changes Everything
Instead of asking:
What if I get emotional?
What if they get angry?
What if I say the wrong thing?
Pause.
Ask one simple question instead:
How do I want to show up?
Maybe your answer is:
Calm.
Grounded.
Patient.
Curious.
Compassionate.
Confident.
Flexible.
Clear-headed.
Respectful.
Solution oriented.
Now your mind has somewhere useful to look.
Instead of scanning for problems, it begins noticing opportunities to become the person you chose to be.
This Isn't Positive Thinking
Some people hear this and assume it's about pretending everything will work out, or toxic positivity.
It isn't.
It's using your full brain not just your survival part of your brain.
The difficult conversation may still be difficult.
Someone may still disagree with you.
A client may still complain.
A family member may still become defensive.
The goal isn't controlling other people.
The goal is becoming intentional about the version of yourself you bring into the situation.
That's self-leadership.
Small Changes Create Different Experiences
Imagine walking into work thinking:
"I hope nobody criticizes me today."
Now compare it with:
"Today I will foster calm, thoughtful, curiosity.. I will remain steady and choose how I feel."
The circumstances might be identical.
Your experience often won't be.
One mindset prepares you for attack.
The other prepares you for leadership.
Give Your Brain Something Worth Following
Your attention and focus is always scanning.
Every repeated thought becomes another instruction.
Instead of constantly feeding your mind warnings, begin feeding it direction.
Not because life becomes easier.
Because you become steadier inside it.
The next time you catch yourself saying,
"I don't want to feel or experience X"
Pause.
Finish this sentence instead.
"Today I will show up as someone who is ____________________."
You may be surprised how differently your day begins to unfold.
Frequently Asked Questions
Isn't this just positive thinking?
No.
Positive thinking attempts to convince yourself that everything will be fine.
This approach is different.
It simply asks you to become intentional about the qualities you want to bring into a situation, regardless of how other people respond.
In other words choosing how you feel instead of automatically reacting out of past fears or future anxieties.
What if the situation really is stressful?
It may be.
Directing your mind doesn't remove challenges.
It helps you meet those challenges with greater clarity instead of automatically preparing for the worst case scenario.
Life still goes, on, believing that anyone has a perfect reality and happy all the time isn't realistic.
What if I forget in the moment?
That's normal.
This is a practice, not a performance, no perfect, we are human.
The more often you pause and ask, "How do I want to show up?" the more natural it becomes over time.
Be intentional and put in the reps.
We are all made up of patterns we repeat, choose to do things differently and witness your life change.
What words should I choose?
There isn't a perfect list.
Pick words that genuinely reflect the person you want to be in that moment.
Another way to say this is choose words that create and generate not only feelings in your body but create images in your mind, like a movie.
What I point everyone to is back to your own creation of reality, we are conditioned and programmed to believe life is happening to us, but that's what keeps u powerless and easy to manipulate.
Your power is seeing your feelings are inside out, not outside in.
Does this mean I ignore problems?
Not at all.
It means you stop rehearsing problems before they happen.
You can still solve real challenges while spending less energy imagining ones that haven't occurred.
In other words you're solution focused, rather than a problem expert.
Why does this make such a difference?
Because attention shapes experience.
The thoughts you repeatedly return to become the lens through which you notice your day.
When you repeatedly focus on the person you want to be, your attention naturally begins supporting that direction.
Suggested Book
This article introduces one of the book's central ideas: your experience isn't created by circumstances alone.
It's shaped by the thoughts your mind is paying attention to in each moment.
If this article resonated with you, Book 5 explores how thought influences emotions, reactions, and the way we experience everyday life.
Learn More
If you enjoyed this article, these pages expand on the ideas that shape everything we teach at My Power Up Coach.
Home – Explore coaching resources, books, and articles designed to help you create a life you don't need a vacation from.
Confidence & Self-Leadership – Learn how greater self-awareness leads to better decisions, stronger relationships, and lasting confidence.
Communication – Discover how understanding your own thinking can transform the way you communicate with others, even during difficult conversations.
Overthinking – Learn why your mind gets stuck in thought loops and how greater awareness helps you find clarity and peace.
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